With a trip to Thailand iminent, may I express the hope that the fashion for ladyboy anal specialities has now passed? I'm thinking particularly of ribbons and even sharp implements being pulled from rectums; balloons being burst by darts blown from the same; and most of all, the piece de resistance I once saw (suffered) which entailed a large ladyboy lying on her back and playing a toy trumpet through her back passage. On that occasion, the MC decided that the astonished audience couldn't enjoy the Dizzie Gillespie-esque skills of the performer sufficiently and thoughtfully placed a microphone next to her arsehole.
And yes, I am one of the cowards who suddenly need a pee when the screwing couples descend into the audience. Ever the conservative, I'm more than happy just to see naked cute guys on the stage. No more arse- trumpets, please.