Tipping Non Money Boys

Another money related question.

There is a boy at my hotel that I like quite a bit, and he has made it clear to me that he would like to spend some time with me. As he has a regular job and is not a money boy per se, I'm not sure of how I go about tipping him, especially if he becomes a regular thing.

To be honest, I'm not a big fan of waiting for him to ask for money because buffalo sick or mother need new teeth. If we both know he is going with me because he expects some financial consideration in the future (patronage), I'd prefer to just set those rates up front. Of course, that would probably be horribly insulting to him, and it is probably highly culturally insensitive of me (I am an American remember--we tend to specialize in cultural insensitivity).

So, do I wait to negotiate when he asks for money for sick buffalo (I can pay 5,000 bt this week for sick buffalo but not 15,000 bt)? What happens if it doesn't work out and buffalo does not have the chance to get sick before we finish (here is 2,000 bt--take buffalo to vet because I very worry him)? I can't offer the boy an exorbitant taxi fare because he lives in the same building as I do.

Also, are the rates the same for those with non-sex industry jobs as they are for bar boys/moneyboys? As this boy works in a gay hotel in the middle of the gay area, should I just consider him like any other gay sex worker (after all, half his coworkers are massage boys).

These may be stupid questions, but I would like to spend time with the boy, and in the process not offend him, his mother, or the poor buffalo (nor do I want to end up being the buffalo in this case).

Pete

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Why would you tip a non-money boy? Would you tip someone you picked up in your home country? Why make all Thai boys into prostitutes?

Just ask if he needs money for taxi.
If. 'yes;' give him 800 - 1,600 baht, saying you have nothing smaller.
Note his expression: happy, disappointed--And if he brings back change.

Why not just treat him like a date in the States? See where it goes and handle like any relationship back home.

[DJB0Y-old]

It may be hard to believe for some....but....

of course, there are non-money boys that don't even think of getting any money. They are just interested in relationships with falang.

No need to worry about any sick water buffalo.

There are many Thais that have jobs, have bank accounts, etc without the assistance of any falang. They are happy to date falang and get in relationships just like in falangland.

Of course, you have to treat these kind of Thais differently from money boys as they are a different crowd.

Good luck. :bounce:

DELETED

[Dodger]

Pete,

Any time a young Thai boy wants to go with a farang - he's a money boy. Just tip him the same as you would a boy from a gogo bar and he'll appreciate it.

I've encountered a few of these situations along the path and usually just tell them that I would like them to have a little pocket money...as I lay the tip on the kitchen counter. But, in after thought, that's the same comment I use with the gogo boys...it's all so confusing...LOL

mai pen rai

Dodger is so unbelievably wrong, all I can do is sit here and shake my head. They are NOT all prostitutes and they do NOT all want money. MANY will be offended if you treat them as a money boy and offer them money. If they want money, they will let on.

Pete,

Any time a young Thai boy wants to go with a farang - he's a money boy. Just tip him the same as you would a boy from a gogo bar and he'll appreciate it.

Dodger, you have been are either very unfortunate or you are just just totally insensitive.

I live and work in Bangkok and have done so for ten years. I have met many boys who have never asked for one Satang yet alone money for a taxi or anything else.

If you go looking with the atttidue that all boys are prostitutes then that is what you will end up with, to label all Thai boys as prostitutes probably only reflects your own experiences in not being able to connect with a 'normal' Thai boy and for sure that is your loss and something you should regret.

[Aunty]

I like Edith's approach. It has a degree of subtlety. But you know honestly, why bother with all this cloak and dagger nonsense. Why not just ask the guy what he wants and what motivates him? Come on darling it's called social skills. Let's use them.

Given that he works in a gay hotel and is surrounded by gay massage boy's, he's hardly going to be offended or even surprised by the question - what does he want? What sort of a relationship is he looking to have with you? Money boy relationship, i.e., rental boyfriend = tipping, or does he actually want a real relationship where the two of you are boyfriends/lovers and no tipping. Maybe you could tell him you're more interested in the later with him rather than the former. Telling him the truth - now that would be a novel idea. (If it's all too scary - after all you have to open up to do this and that means being honest and vulnerable - he might say no - pop a couple of Valium and a shot of gin, eat lots of chocolate and go to bed for a couple of days). But if you actually want a real relationship with this man, isn't that what you are going to be doing anyway, being honest and open with each other?

Tell him you are confused because of the environment you and he are in and you would like to understand where the two of you might be going with your friendship.