Hello everyone

From my previous journal entry, I just want to say that I am in Toronto now.
I finally got a place from a Thai landlady.
The price is reasonable and the room is quite comfortable.
Thanks for all of your advice.


In this entry, I would like to ask you for some other advice.
I have been feeling down lately for some reason. I really donтАЩt know exactly why I feel that way.
I have so many things on my mind. I think it might be because of that.


Someone told me I should write it down somewhere. I shouldnтАЩt keep it inside.
It would be better for me to let it out.I have been carrying on for too long, I guess.
ItтАЩs time to make confessions, I believe.

When I first had my American live-in boyfriend, I was only 22 and he was 62.
YeahтАж.yeah, I know the big gap in age between us was 40.
When we were walking down the street together, lots of people looked at us.
He couldnтАЩt care less and neither did I.

Then, I had a German boyfriend, another American boyfriend and a Canadian boyfriend.
There were so many bad things that I did to them. I can recall a few and I feel regret.
Sometimes, I feel very guilty and I wish I could go back and change things.
I used to feel like I had some kind of trauma in my memories from my childhood.
Therefore, I tried to use those people to replace something.

There were some times that I was absolutely struggling and I felt like drowning.
I met my Canadian boyfriend, and he helped me get out of Thailand.
There were papers after papers after papers that I had to fill out.
I donтАЩt remember how many times we wrote back and forth.
I finally got a visa to his country (Canada).

I thought it would be the end of my long journey with suffering.
Instead, it was just the beginning of another disaster.
After that, I married a Dutch guy and our marriage failed terribly.
I would like to make some confessions. I think I am ready to face reality.
I believe it will set me free from my haunted memories. And finally, my spirit can rest in peace.


My question is where or which website can I use to do that?

I want to tell my true stories. And I hope someone will listen to me.
I am looking for a place with lots of traffic so at least my stories will be read by many people.

Which website would you recommend?

Someone advised me to use facebook. I heard about that, but I donтАЩt know how it works.
All advice is appreciated.
Best regards,
Andy