Most of the boys and girls in the flesh trade send a great part of the money they earn to their family, very noble indeed. I always wonder, do their parents know that they work in this business, I mean a boy/girl working a regular factory job will not have much money left to send home after paying for housing and food.
Their parents must know that they have some "special" job, or is it just not a big deal how they earn the money, as long as it is send home ?
Ofcourse I go with other Falang, it's my job, but you are the only one I love :)
I can't speak for all bar boys of course but I've visited the parents of two different Go Go Boys and their parents were perectly aware of what their sons did to earn a living. They didn't seem particularly bothered by it.
Indeed one guy I was with tried to persuade his brother to join him in Pattaya and work at a Bar and his parents encouraged him as well. Actually he did stay for a short while in Pattaya but hated it and went home leaving his (gay) brother to carry on supporting the family.
Jon
I can only echo the same comments as Kun Jon.
I visited the families of two boys, both of whom worked actively in gogo bars. The families of both boys were fully aware of the work they did and never appeared as if they cared at all. They were openly grateful for the time we spent together and the gifts they received during my visits, and smiled widely when the two of us headed back to Sin City together.
I also visited the family of a boy who was (is) a university student was has never worked in the "circuit." His family also knew the motivations behind our relationship and never showed any concern at all. I was the same age as his father which made me extremely uncomfortable, especially when the boy would snuggle up next to me with his hand grasping mine in full view of the family members. Again, no one seemed the least bit concerned...except yours truly.
I came to realize that Thais don't view "Sex" the same way we do in the West. They simply don't elevate the significance of sexual interactions as high on the scale of important things in life as we do. They also seem to be perfectly capable of living in a society that does not discriminate against those with different sexual lifestyles...maybe that's the reason there's no word in the Thai vocabulary for "Gay."
mai pen rai
I'm no expert, on this or any other subject, but based on my six-year relationship with my BF, I think that everybody knows perfectly well what is going on, but, to save face for everyone involved, pretends not to. When I visited my BF's village for the first time he sheepishly told me that he told people that I was his boss ( He has a legit job as a waiter in a hotel.) On later visits I asked him if they really still believed that. He avoided answering directly and I didn't push it. They know me now, and appreciate what I do for him and, indirectly, for them and look forward to my visits. Why risk causing any awkwardness for anyone by asking questions? They know, they know I know they know, and so what? Mai pen rai.
When I went to my bf's home in Udon they knew where he worked and who I was. I was welcomed with open arms.
is there really no Thai word for "gay"???
wow, learn something new every day!
Isn't it chawp puchai? Or gay?
Yeah, they always know.
Yes, Peter, exactly. The perspective many of you have is just too Pattaya centric, where the money boys are mostly from Issarn and very poor. Venture out side of Pattaya and you can meet and talk to Thai gays in the clubs, saunas and restaurants and you will find many very much in the closet and they are not taking you home to meet the folks.I enjoy your posts, Dodger, but you do have a tendency to over-romanticise. It's the grinding poverty of most barboys' families that makes us farangs so acceptable to them (as potential income providers). Do you really think you would receive such a warm welcome if it was a middle-class boy taking you back to his middle-class family?
Many get married and have children. They then frequenet the ever expanding sauna and massage venues of Bangkok.
I also enjoy Dodgers posts.
E Dok Tong
Just to save Dodger from scratching his head in confusion, I wrote what TrongpaiExpat quotes above. I went to edit it, managed to delete it and couldn't be bothered to re-state it.
[i]There is a boy across the river with a bottom like a peach,
But alas I cannot swim.
[/i]
- From an early-19th-century Pashtun marching song
To be fair to Dodger, the original post didn't ask about middle-class gay young men, but about working boys. I think we can agree that Dodger might have some level of expertise in that subject. Granted, every guy is different and every situation unique.
I have no great level of expertise in visiting mamma/pappa...but I am pretty certain that there were some white lies told about me/him/us when I was 'up there'. I'd have to say that most of the guys I've known in that line of work were, if not actively trying to keep it a secret, not telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Of course, most of my coterie in my last few trips have been cousins and/or neighbors in Issan. On one Bangkok outing, we all met another Issaner in a music club and I was told in no uncertain terms that facts were being fudged in thier conversation. Didn't want gossip reaching the folks that they were seen 'out on the town' with a reasonably good-looking older farang, I guess.
Just another view.
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