Gay Parents

[Surfcrest]

Personally, I liked the old Pattaya Gay Board style of moderating. Absolutley no rules enforced whatsoever. It reminds me of how I raised my two children: "Welome to the world kids...I'm your dad...now just go out and have a ball"...LOL

Like I'm sure a lot of people, I find myself wondering about the similarities in this world...trying to piece it all back together.

I've noticed this here on SGT over the years, I've noticed it sitting down at Dong Tan beach talking to guys and I've noticed it downstairs at Numbers (A bar here in Vancouver that I used to frequent from time to time some years ago). The downstairs area at Numbers used to be for Asians and their admirers (it might still be).

Anyhow, a common theme that I notice in from guys who prefer Asians is a higher instance of guys coming from straight relationships and with many guys who have fathered children. It's not something I notice with my other gay friends, those either not Asian or not with an Asian partner. I wonder if anyone else has noticed this? (Not trying to put you on the spot Dodger or anyone else that had had children).

Surfcrest

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[catawampuscat]

I've met and known hundreds of gay farangs in Thailand.
Just using the USA farangs, high percentage have/had been married to a woman or
several women and have children. Another high percentage have military backgroup
with the U.S. Navy the most common. The farang subset is all 60+years old and come
from a time of gay men living deeply in closets, marrying to escape suspicion, and low self esteem
and self worth in general. Some never came out to their families but many did.
My guess is that married or divorced gay men would seek out Asians as they would be
invisible in gay bars if over 35 y.o. and Asians in general would be more open to older men.
The men who became 'gay' after 50 years of age were not socialized with other gay men
and often cannot fit in well, have strong right wing beliefs, and many personality traits of
straight men their age. I imagine many never come out and live and die in sham marriages
and live a lie their whole life. Hard to imagine a much worst life.

[fountainhall]

Not all men who move from straight to gay are 60+ or even 50+! I have one friend who lives in the north of Thailand who was married with two children. He eventually realised he was gay in his mid-30s, went through personal agonies to the point where he all but jumped out of a window. He then plucked up the courage to tell his wife. She said she was not totally surprised They divorced, he moved to Bangkok and within a couple of weeks had met his long term Asian bf in Telephone Bar! The children remain very close to their father and sometimes visit him in Thailand.

A common thread surely is that the older westerners partner off with younger - in many cases, much younger - bfs. I suppose that's kind of similar to what's called the Jennifer syndrome with older straight guys divorcing and taking up with women half their age or younger.

On a slight tangent, I also have gay friends in Hong Kong and New York who have children. Both involve a westerner and an Asian. In one case, the westerner has the better paying job; in the other, it is the Asian. All are now in their 40s and they make the most fantastic parents. But none was married before or had any straight relationships.

[catawampuscat]

I agree and believe the vast majority of straight to gay men change teams in their 20's and 30's. I just don't meet them in Pattaya. Guess I need to expand my social circles.

[Dodger]

fountainhall wrote:

A common thread surely is that the older westerners partner off with younger - in many cases, much younger - bfs.

Interesting that you should say that because I've often wondered if my desire to have relationships with much younger guys stems from the desires I had suppressed back when I was their age when I was still harboring my feelings inside that dark closet.

I just don't meet them in Pattaya. Guess I need to expand my social circles.

Not every old queen's a rice queen.

[catawampuscat]

No one I know is royalty. Not even a princess.

[Surfcrest]

Well, for me it has nothing to do with age and more to do with smooth.

I grew up in the outer edge of what we in North America describe as the "baby boom" or that twenty or so years following the Secong World War. Some guys were starting to "come out" when I was growing up, although that wasn't always working out well for them in the 70's.

The pressure was on back then to do "the right thing" find a girl, get a job and raise a family. That eclipsed what I "wanted".

So there were a few guys I saw through high school, one I continued seeing in between girlfriends after that. I broke up with my last girlfriend when I was 29 and decided to do what I "wanted" from then on. I took an assignment outside the country for a year and found the smooth guys in that country to be just what I liked. My first trip to Thailand was only months after I returned back to Canada.

I doubt I'm really bisexual, I certainly don't consider myself that today. Whether it's because I once was attracted to women or whether it's something else but hairy men I do not find attractive. Not facial hair, no chest hair and definitely not a hairy butt.

Surfcrest

[catawampuscat]

I'm in the ' smooth ' camp as well.

[Impulse]

I was just watching the movie "Cruising", with Al Pacino last night. I grew up during that period, early eighties and went to the gay clubs in New York. The guys were very unattractive back then. Very hairy walking around shirtless and many wearing leather trying to look real macho.

Lucky for me I had a twink boy friend who was uncut. He would love going into the "village" and being promiscuous as all hell in the bath houses and clubs. I was happy having sex with just him but he certainly was bored of me.it was an interesting time for sure. But it was the beginning of AIDS and they closed most of the bath houses. A very scary time .

Looking back I would have liked having an Asian boy friend but they were kind of rare to be seen in the gay clubs etc. Maybe they were there but I just didn't notice. My boy friend was really well hung and we had great oral sex but I wasn't into anal at all. Now I love anal with Asian guys, hairless is incredible. My boy friend left me and moved to California after a 6 year relationship. Don't know what happened to him and can't locate him on Face Book.