Living with a Thai Guy

[bucknaway]

Many of you have been in long and loving relationships with a Thai guy, and some of you have loved and lost. Can you tell us something about living with a Thai guy that you never thought to expect? Something that is simply Thai to them but unexpected for you? Was there something that was an accepted routine in your own culture that made your lover grin with bewilderment?

And for you that have loved and lost, was there something that was simply Thai that made you end the relationship? Or was there something about your way of life that he found to difficult to live with?

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[cdnmatt]

My only advice would be, if you're the one paying the bills, you're the boss, so act like it. Don't worry about this 50/50 thing, compromise, mutual respect, etc., because especially if you're living with someone from a poor background, you're probably not going to get it in return.

[TOQ]

I have lived with my boyfriend for over 8 years now and I find that what makes it work is if you treat the person with respect that is how you will be treated in return. He is a full grown man and I treat him like one. He has full freedom to come and go as he pleases and do as he pleases. Of course, I have the same option. I do not need, want or expect him to be with me 24 hours a day. Everyone needs their free time to do as they wish. I believe that because of this we have never had a serious disagreement much less a fight.

What I had found frustrating is the almost total lack of concern for being on time. However I found a way around this. If we need to be somewhere by 8PM I just tell him we need to be there by 7:30. Has worked every time.

As far as "being the boss" I do not consider our relationship as a boss/employee situation. If you have an attitude like that I would think the relationship would be doomed to fail.

Just my view and others may disagree but this works extremely well for me. I would not change a thing.

[Khor tose]

What I had found frustrating is the almost total lack of concern for being on time. However I found a way around this. If we need to be somewhere by 8PM I just tell him we need to be there by 7:30. Has worked every time.

As far as "being the boss" I do not consider our relationship as a boss/employee situation. If you have an attitude like that I would think the relationship would be doomed to fail.

Just my view and others may disagree but this works extremely well for me. I would not change a thing.

I have been living with mine for four years and I agree with all of the above. The only difference is that I do insist that he be on time as good training for when (if DOMA is thrown out) we move back to the USA. Be it for a doctors appointment or for a job, he has to learn how to be on time. I've patiently explained all of this to him, and he trust me enough to believe me and work on it. I am very happy with him this last year as he has been on time or close enough not to matter for this last year.

[Sooty]

A friend of mine has been in a relationship with the same Thai guy for 25 years in the UK. He sometimes says to me he knows he'll never be treated as an equal, the guy's family in the village, especially his mother, is the #1 priority. Even though the Thai has his own independent income - around 30,000 pounds - he doesn't think he should contribute to the (joint) mortgage or even the weekly shopping bill, as all his surplus money is needed back home. Or for his clothes, and his shoes, and his skin preparations and his twice-yearly air tickets to visit Mum.

My friend thinks I'm too harsh because I order in (off GayRomeo etc.) and then pay them off. I don't have to listen or respond to inane questions all of which revolve around issues of personal vanity ("I look young, don't I?", "You think I look slim?") or economic hardship.

[RichLB]

I've lived with my Thai partner for 15 years in Pattaya. As the previous posters verify, it is not impossible to sustain a long term relationship with a Thai guy. As to cultural differences which require adjustment (I've given up trying to change them) "time" is certainly way up on the list. If I'm to be somewhere at 8 PM, I'm usually there before 7:55; Ken, on the other hand, thinks 8 PM should be about the time he starts to get ready. I use the suggestion above and just lie about what time we're to arrive. I've also never adjusted to the food storage issue. Leaving food outside the refrigerator seems so ingrained it's almost impossible to change that habit. I had to laugh at the vanity comment above. Hell, we could stock an Avon storeroom with skin creams, cosmetics, and all sorts of other goo. I've also given up trying to get him to sit on the toilet rather than squat on it. But, all is good and I'm happy and grateful we've found each other.

[netrix]

My only advice would be, if you're the one paying the bills, you're the boss, so act like it. Don't worry about this 50/50 thing, compromise, mutual respect, etc., because especially if you're living with someone from a poor background, you're probably not going to get it in return.

dude, matt! get a profile pic! the idea of the rotating generic image is a stupid one. the forum needs a default image for those who aren't creative enough to come up with one on their own. but without a custom pic, it's hard to tell at first glance who's talking. especially when the lame rotating image is the same one as the previous poster. looks like the same person posting. i would pay more attention to what you have to say if i knew it was you saying it.

[christianpfc]

From stays with Thai friend (at their place or they at my place) up to several days, I see the following problems:

ChristianPFC does not like air drafts. A fan is out of question, I got used to the weak air draft from aircon (25 C, there is some latitude).

He can play music I like or I am indifferent to, but only at an acceptable volume level.

I didn't have a problem with TV with most of my Thai acquaintances (I don't have a TV and I think it will stay that way). There is usually a TV running in another room, with family members watching, but my Thai friend never watched TV when we were together.

Mobile phone use is a big issue. Some of my Thai friends use their mobile phone in a way that I consider unacceptable when you are with someone.

No problems with food storage so far, but I eat everything that is on my plate and expect my future boyfriend to do so, too. There are no leftovers, there is lemon peel and bones, nothing more. There will be no waste of food in ChristianPFC's household.

[cdnmatt]

dude, matt! get a profile pic! the idea of the rotating generic image is a stupid one. the forum needs a default image for those who aren't creative enough to come up with one on their own. but without a custom pic, it's hard to tell at first glance who's talking. especially when the lame rotating image is the same one as the previous poster. looks like the same person posting. i would pay more attention to what you have to say if i knew it was you saying it.

How about this guy? Pretty good resemblance of me, don't you think?

[netrix]

How about this guy? Pretty good resemblance of me, don't you think?

Perfect. Anything.
Just not a rotating image used by multiple people that is different every time you post. Stupidest thing I've ever seen on any forum. Ever.
well... I take that back. Stupidest built-in feature.