Nostalgia - what ever happened to the 'house boys'

I'm probably showing my age, but I remember in the days when the word 'gay' was in its infancy, and homosexuality, while legalised, was still a largely discreet culture; one would come across people from time to time who kept 'house boys'.

No-one ever referred to their 'partner' or 'boyfriend' in those days - but some richer (and usually active) guys would have a younger, (usually passive) 'house boy' who was normally detailed to clean, tidy, cook etc.

The house boy was never there against his will, but there was always an element of the master/slave about the arrangement, with sex portrayed as a punishment for some minor misdemeanour.

I recall calling at the house of a guy in London who always dressed and spoke like Noel Coward. His houseboy and another guy came down stairs..

'I hope you gave him a good buggy ride' - he called out in a voice the whole street could probably hear ' he was very naughty this morning..'

I wonder if Thai boys can ever be properly trained as house boys - does anyone attempt to keep a personal 'slave' these days?

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[Thai Dyed]

As long as I've lived in Asia, I have always had a houseboy. I'm not about to start cooking, cleaning, and shopping myself. And I've never considered it a master/slave arrangement. I have always related to them more as part of my family.
I know some guys who have houseboys, cooks and drivers. But it's become more rare to see people with the latter two these days. Usually one competent boy can be trained to cook and tend to all the other household chores.

In days gone by I always picked my houseboys from the trade I picked up or sometimes got by referral through others. But my current boy is not one I started out with on a sexual basis, so it is all quite variable these days. A really good houseboy will also be sensitive to your sexual tastes and can find some nice boys to bring back while on his daily shopping routines for your consideration. Actually, I've found that I save a lot of time and money by employing a houseboy and I highly recommend doing so to others. There may be some pitfalls that you have to learn about, but far fewer in the long run than getting involved in love affairs that usually turn pretty messy after a while.

Thai Dyed

I'm pleased to hear they havn't vanished completely, and I do like the idea of your HB going to market and bringing back some lads for your delectation - there's nothing worse than possessive jealousy where gay relations are concerned..

..do you control your HB's sexual activity, or do you allow him a long leash?

I remember years ago giving a BJ to a Sri Lankan HB while his master watched (we were both seated in armchairs in his sitting room). The lad had just served me a G&T, and I was struck by his perfectly smooth black skin. He was wearing a traditional long shirt (cheesecloth, or something similar) with navy briefs underneath. He came very quickly, and not wanting to mess the furniture, I washed his semen down with a sip of gin - and then we continued our previous conversation..

[cdnmatt]

If I had to guess, I would say "house boys" are few and far between mainly due to large shifts in society and culture. I'm not quite 30, so younger than many on the board, and can say I couldn't ever fathom having a "house boy", and I don't know anyone my age who would be comfortable with that. A cleaning lady who comes once a week? Sure. A "house boy" who is somewhat my slave, including for sexual pleasure? Never.

We weren't raised in the same world as you guys, where there was a rigid hierarchy of social status' and superiority. We were raised in a world where everyone is equal, and everyone demands the same level of basic respect, irregardless. Neither is right or wrong, but just different. And that's probably why the "house boy" concept is far less prevalent nowadays. It's a taboo now.

cdnmatt,

Each to their own, but there was absolutely no coercion in the old order, and a house boy can enjoy a lot less stress in his life, a much better standard of living, and a lot less fear of being 'outed' than a village boy who goes to work in a Pattaya bar.

I find the modern order a bit disquieting and depressing - it's more egalitarian, to be true, but the pursuit of the common denominator seems to push everyone down into the gutter..

[cdnmatt]

Each to their own, but there was absolutely no coercion in the old order, and a house boy can enjoy a lot less stress in his life, a much better standard of living, and a lot less fear of being 'outed' than a village boy who goes to work in a Pattaya bar.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't mean to imply there was any coercion involved. Just saying people's perception of social status' has changed, and an owner vs. servant relationship goes against the grain of how society has evolved over the last several decades. Nowadays, who you are, and how much you have doesn't matter as much as it once did. Instead, if you want respect from people, you better show them the same level of respect in return.

That's why having a "house boy" is somewhat of a taboo nowadays. Nobody is going to accept having an "owner", and at the same time, most people don't want "servants". It's not the same as before, where having servants was a sign of success and respectability, whereas the same time, someone poor working for a wealthy boss, and being taken care, was also a sign of good social status, and something to be proud of. Doesn't work like that anymore.

I find the modern order a bit disquieting and depressing - it's more egalitarian, to be true

heh, I can see that. Tell that to the people who started from the other side of the fence though. They'll probably have a different perspective on it.

but the pursuit of the common denominator seems to push everyone down into the gutter..

I think there's quite a few more forces at work to bring everyone down than just societies perception of social status'.

[newalaan]

a house boy can enjoy a lot less stress in his life, a much better standard of living, and a lot less fear of being 'outed' than a village boy who goes to work in a Pattaya bar.

This is true. I know of one thai guy who is a 'houseboy' for a well-off farang in Bkk. I dont know the farang, i only know the boy, there is no sexual element in the work, the farang just enjoys having a (cute/handsome) guy helping round the house. The thai guy is not 100% gay, but gets a very decent wage and very comfortable working conditions, and likes living in Bkk. Works very well for both parties.

[ikarus]

a house boy can enjoy a lot less stress in his life, a much better standard of living, and a lot less fear of being 'outed' than a village boy who goes to work in a Pattaya bar.

This is true. I know of one thai guy who is a 'houseboy' for a well-off farang in Bkk. I dont know the farang, i only know the boy, there is no sexual element in the work, the farang just enjoys having a (cute/handsome) guy helping round the house. The thai guy is not 100% gay, but gets a very decent wage and very comfortable working conditions, and likes living in Bkk. Works very well for both parties.

In Thailand house boy and boy friend are two different concepts. Farang may have Thai bf and house boy, of course, but
mixing these two (i.e. having sexual relations with house boy) will hardly yield good results.

[Rene]

. Farang may have Thai bf and house boy, of course, but
mixing these two (i.e. having sexual relations with house boy) will hardly yield good results.

More than 90% of the farang boyfriend relationships I have seen in Thailand end in utter disaster. I would advise someone to keep the houseboy and dump the BF.

By shading the words he uses, cndmatt is able to preserve the illusion that he has a boyfriend. But in fact, if you remove the element of money that Matt brings in from his work as a shill for the porno industry, which is the real glue in the whole arrangement, there would be no boyfriend at all.

Again, well over 90% of the farang-boyfriend relationships I see in Thailand are nothing more than long-term live-in prostitutes masquerading under that quaint rubric known as "love" which wouldn't exist had the word not been invented.

At least the houseboy-farang arrangement, with or without sex, is an honest assessment which won't lead to further delusion which amounts to no more than intellectual masturbation.

[cdnmatt]

By shading the words he uses, cndmatt is able to preserve the illusion that he has a boyfriend. But in fact, if you remove the element of money that Matt brings in from his work as a shill for the porno industry, which is the real glue in the whole arrangement, there would be no boyfriend at all.

Go fuck yourself, and don't talk about things when you have no idea what you're talking about.

And we've been poor before. And I mean POOR, to the point we couldn't afford a 6 baht pack of noodles for dinner. Doing great now, but wasn't like that before. If he's willing to stick with me through all that bullshit, I'd say it's a pretty safe bet. Do you really believe two people can live with each other daily, and sleep beside each other every night for over two years, but yet not love each other? That's simply delusional.

Might not be a perfect relationship, but it's hardly fake. If anything, he loves me alot more than I love him. After all, I'm the only person in his life who's ever given a shit about him, and has been there for him long term.