FROM EARWIG/LMTU

Sorry I tried to put this onto Sawatdee but even with new beta handle, it would not work, so if any one is writing over there, please put a link here to thank every one for there kind thoughts and messages at this difficult time.

http://www.sawatdee-gay-thailand.com/fo ... 12447.html

also some one sent me this bartsstop.
http://www.baht-stop.com/forums/index.p ... topic=2511

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Horrendously today the funeral has been taking place in Nog Khai and it was the worst one I have ever seen, I have been to many in and out of Thailand but this ritual of leaving to coffin open while it is burning on what could only be called a Camp Fire sorry about the pun is barbaric, I have been to many in Thailand over the years but they were all guys over 70 who have had a good life the last one of those was hideous enough while we were putting a flower into the open coffin the poor guy was burning away and the flames were coming out of every orifice, this one was the worst things of my life a young guy of 19 his lovely black hair still shining in the sun light, he was sleeping like a baby and then they lit the fire just on the farm, horrendous it was, not my way of saying good bye, but who am I just an onlooker as far as they were concerned, even though IтАЩm sure they knew I was not really his boss, if the truth be known, he was mine, as he was an Alpha Male and he organized everything, as my other Guy does Mr Pattayak who was also crying like me like a baby like all of us.

If you want to really know some one is dead get them buried in Thailand, it is really final! but the chanting and the 12 Monks were amazing, so haunting and calming even so , If you was going to have a funeral, this is the place to do it, but not so basic, but it was there day not mine, we were just there, mainly only in body, our mind was thinking of all the wonderful times we have had together and wishing he was here, then a gust of wind slightly blew in my ear, I knew some how he was there with us, keeping an ever watchful eye on us, well I can dream, itтАЩs the silence now, that is the worst and no laughter from him ever again, so sad. As you can imagine IтАЩm crying even writing this.

Thank you so much for all your thoughts, even though I have had a big
problem even getting in to Sawatdee I have had to go the wow pow beta
way, I hope it works. No it does not, so I have no idea what the problem is, I can write to post but it says 'no such post' when I send it.

Yes my poor baby has been taken from us, not only me but all that loved
him, his family and friends, he was a 1 in a million, He was a Class act so much more I can not bare to think....may be not what
every one would call good looking, but his strength for me was his
heart, they say only the good die young and in this case it was true,
he never had a bad bone in his Body, never even chouted or got angry.... he never said a word they were telling me when the gang passed, he was going to the shop and his happened there one shot in the eye dead.... and he always said to me, I have one
farang and that all I want, like most Boys in town he got chatted up
Incessantly, he was happy he had a look alike working in Euroboys I
think it was, and after that he said this boy can satisfy the farangs
more then I ever can, he was so much, fun and amusing, with a wonderful
easy going caring lovely to be with nature, I Love to party and so did
he.... we were so close together.

The worst of it all is he wanted to come back from Nong Khai just
recently, after being there waiting till I came back to Thailand, I
said ok wait for me as he was starting College in September, after he
lost his Job in Hollywood, when it closed, he use to spend a lot of
time playing Video games, as they do and had no purpose to life, apart
from party when I came and he was so happy, if I was there he
would never be at this Pub visiting his friends, out of boredom and
helping at as door man, as he use to say its not like work, we have a
laugh with friends......... not many farang here.

So there you have it, I cant get him back now, so I have to move on
with out him unfortunately, I still have my small family of guys including Mr Pattaya 2002/3 who many
also get him mixed up with Ole, he was helping with all the funeral
Arrangements as Ole Family are beside them self, when you loose some
one so close you never really know how your going to react some one
sent me a picture that was printed in the paper, up side down and he
had turned it around, I thought it was him alive waiting for the
doctor, but when I looked he was dead and rigger mortise set in, and
thats when it really hit me, once again sorry I have not answered all
your many over 70 so far emails and personal messages personally yet,
but I had to send a blanket email as there was far to many.

I hope to see you all soon some where, don't be afraid to chat, I
don't really bite, even those on here I have had a disagreement with,
to me its just a debate I never get angry with any one, unless they
tell lies and half truths about me, that hurts my friends and family, but that comes with the territory.
they never want to hear both sides of the story.

Thanks once again for your heart felt condolences and I can feel your
love I hope you can feel mine coming back at you all. writing about it
really is helping, I hope you donтАЩt mind me sharing this with you all. Please bare with me it helps a lot to write it down and a problem shared is half a problem.

God Bless you all in our funny Gay family, on Patatyya Gay forums.... I love you all really, yes even Catty. and Rainbow. and you GB for being so patient with me.Lately.....

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