Since the forced breather has allowed me to calm down I've decided to update the situation with my HIV+ boyfriend.

The last time I posted about him I was more optimistic than I had been for a long time that he would be able, eventually, to work again and support himself. He was living in his home village but local prejudice forced him to move. The Police had to be called to remove one woman who continually stood outside his house and shouted abuse. Even his relatives made him feel an outsider. He visited an aunt and found separate crockery with his name on for him to use and they wouldn't eat in the same room as him. He's a gentle, kind and caring guy who just can't understand why people are so unkind to him.

Anyway a couple of months ago he moved into a new apartment on the other side of Ratchaburi and started a training course at a local college.

His health is not good, not only due to the HIV but also due to separate heart and stomach problems. I was very worried whether he would have the stamina to cope with the course and look after himself (he lives alone).

At first everything went well and he was enjoying his course which is when I was so optimistic about his future at last.

Unfortunately last week he developed a high fever, acute diarrhoea and was bringing up blood. He refused to go to a local doctor as he didn't want anyone in the area to know his HIV status. He goes once a month to hospital in Bangkok and tried to get an appointment but couldn't and it soon became apparent that he was too ill to travel. He treated himself from the local 7/11 shop and managed to suppress the symptoms enough to get to a doctor just outside the immediate area.

He's now been diagnosed with meningitis (a continuing problem right from the start) and pneumonia. Hopefully he'll be transferred to Bangkok on Monday.

I've visited twice this year and can't be there to see him him which breaks my heart. I'm next scheduled to be in Thailand for Christmas and I can only hope he'll pull through again as he has so many times.

People are probably fed up with me paying tribute to him but he remains the bravest person I've ever met who deals with each situation with a simple shrug of his shoulders and a matter of fact "no problem".

I tell him how proud I am of him and try to do what I can from a distance. In all the eight years I've known him he's never let me down, never disappointed me and has always been more concerned for my well being rather than his own.