Just back from a month in Thailand, with half the time spent around Issan and half between Bkk and 2 Pattaya stays. Just some very random bits and pieces, would enjoy to hear other's experiences with anything mentioned.

Family Income.
With reference to the current problems of the government and rice payments, Bf's sister received the family rice payout from government, it was Bt150,000. What will happen to the money I asked? It sits in the bank, a small portion will pay the interest on the farm loan. Some will be offered as loans to family members where warranted. The bulk will be re-invested in crops. No new machinery will be purchased, they have a very efficient inter-farmer loan of machinery and labour exchange with other local farmers.

Tough working conditions.
During my visit to the village, 6 members of the family were having a tough day at the office. They had moved, cut, collected all day some kind of crop....but with poor value at weigh-in, all six landed up working for free for a gruelling 8 hours. They had the working attire of hats, scarves covering faces old shirts etc were covered in dust and sweat..3 males and 3 females about mid30's early 40's. I don't often offer parties, nights out etc... but I hadn't taken anyone to the buffet for a couple trips so decided today would be a good day to offer it up and cheer up what was an awful day. In the nearest town there are now 4 good buffets to choose from. How these places make a single baht god only knows, our crewe paid Bt139 per head and consumed about Bt639 worth of prawns per head alone!

Visit to the Buffet! I may be repeating experiences from previous visits but this is fresh from the most recent Jan/Feb.
If you are thinking about, or do make regular visits to Issan, and your village is near a decent sized town, buffets are a great way to entertain the relatives/friends while not having to engage in full party mode. It hits home at the very basis of Thai/issan folks heart...lots and lots of (free) stuff to eat! The fact it has a 'kind-of' ceiling at Bt139 per head means you know in advance the likely cost and anyone can eat as much as they want without adding to your bill, drinks are the extra you need to keep on top of. Unscrupulous waiters (even knowing I or my bf are the bill payers) will often approach other members of the party, even the kids, to ask if they want more whisky, beer, ice, coke etc.. and who will often just say 'yes' for the heck of it, I make sure the main server asks me or bf before ordering. That is basic respect instead of the usual attitude of "well the farang's paying ain't he?"...."advantage MUST be taken or you can't call yourself a real Issan folk!" Maybe a bit unfair with that comment...but.

So on this occasion we had 16 folks, 4 of whom were kids, we had a few bottles of coke, sprite etc, some beer and one bottle HongThong, bill was around Bt3,000. We were there for about 2.5 hours 6-8.30pm all were so full there were no calls for further drinks back at the home, we just dropped off families etc... as we drove through the village, yes all 16 (6 in cab, 10 on back with space to spare)of us were in my pick up driven by my recently drving test-passed bf. I had a four year old on my knee in the front, he is a little monkey and only obeys his father and me, so I was tasked with keeping him controlled as his father had been tasked with controlling the whisky bottle earlier. His father is 22, 5' 7" not muscley but a great worker, shirks nothing, but looks about 16. His son is actually a very bright and caring little button of a 4 year old, ahead of his years in terms of understanding. He can remember virtually every English phrase bf and I give him. He is the first born of the new generation of the family so has a special place in everything to do with family.

A note on controlling spending in Issan. As I didn't lust after my bf at first and thereby managed to avoid ridiculous promises of offering anything to 'make him happy' (as I wasn't even looking for a bf at that stage), the cards were stacked in my favour at the start, which I was able to be fairly strict in some of the "terms and conditions" of any future potential relationship which slowly but surely emerged. I boldly told bf to announce to family, extended family and various friends that this farang was not going to be a walking ATM, Health Ins provider for extended family.....bf would have to be earning in his own right but regular and one-off top ups would obviously come from me. Esp on holiday when I would have a holiday money budget. This strategy at the start has worked well for me in terms of (not) receiving any ridiculous and thoughtless demands from anyone.

I have made sure everyone knows and understands that I strictly stand by my word. If I hear snippets like "farang or newallan" followed by the word "buffet" or suchlike, then that only guarantees there will be no buffet on the farang! and I let them/bf know. So now there are no calls for the freedom of my wallet, and they seem to genuinely appreciate any visits to the buffet, restaurants or parties we have. I don't have an 'arrival party' or 'going away party' as an excuse to finish off my holiday cash or any other regular, repeated and therefore 'expected' cash-splashing .... it's the whole principal of being taken for, or considered a fool with his money, I do however suddenly announce a buffet visit or a party but always have "a reason" .......Its because of X's birthday, or that Y dodged the draft or x,y,z,a,b,c had a particularly tough day at work etc... no habit forming repeated, expected hand-outs, all out of the blue, and that is very Thai/Issan so no problem. We sometimes visit Khon Kaen city, I will only allow certain individuals to know we are going in advance to avoid any 'disappointments'. If sister or mother and couple kids come along I will sometimes hand out Bt500 here and there to buy new stuff, with jeans at Bt250, and shirts at B200, tee shirts at 99+ baht they can get a couple of nice new stuff for little money. I jokingly suggest there will be no Red Label extravagance instead of Blend285 because I am 'kee-nieow' (cheap, stingy) and while it is all smiles and a bit of a joke.....Red Label in Issan will never appear!

Thai Lottery.
On 16th Feb I won Bt2000 on the Official Thailand lottery. I had a dream, and it concerned the numbers 0301, I was asked if I had had any 'good dreams' (euphemism for Lottery Number dreams) ..... it just so happens I had! My numbers were announced, nobody stumbled on the fact they were part of my Thai Mobile number which had simply come into my head at some point the previous night. We stopped for fuel in town, there was a lottery seller outside 711. A quick look and my bf saw numbers with 01 at the end, the important 2 numbers for the most basic sized returns, Bt1000 win if you have two correct numbers at the far right of the number. I bought 2 for Bt110, bf pushed me to buy more, I said if you are so sure they will win you buy them! He didn't...something I heard about for a full 24 hours on 16th Feb thro 17th Feb! along with several ha-mung's (Lao for fuck), fuck's, arom-sia's (bad mood)! "why you not tell me buy?? it was your number dream!!...now it's MY fault for him not buying the extra lottery tickets.

An uncle/friend in the village heard about 'newallans' dream and bought 6 tickets with 01 at the end. that's Bt330, ALWAYS money can be found for food, drink and lottery tickets! However it gave him a return of Bt6,000! I received a blue Buddha string for that, to give me even EXTRA guarantees of safe passage to Bkk and return to Issan in 3 months etc... who needs good car brakes or insurance when you have an amulet and blue strings round your wrist! As it happens....... I had no problems with roads, no stops by police even around korat, and safe passage home....what is there not to believe!?

The Issan/Morlam Disappointment.
On they day before we had planned to leave 'the village' it was announced that there was to be an Issan/Morlam concert not far away, so we decided to stay another night to attend. I love Morlam concerts especially when in Issan. The one's in the area attract a huge amount of gay and katoey lads with tons and tons of sanook! So early in the evening after eating we were anticipating the fun later in the night. We planned to go about 10pm and leave at about 1am when all the fighting (if there is going to be any) starts when the Lao Khao stats to seriously kick-in full-on.

About 6 of us going from around bfs home, also 2-3 younger relatives 16-18 who are allowed to drink and join in the fun. Two of these are dispatched about 10.30pm by motocy to the event to see 'what's up' as there has been no very loud Issan music booming through the landscape as expected. They return with the news that music will start 11pm...so we head off. Well.......on approach WHAT a disappointment! instead of a huge colourful array of lights, stalls, hundreds/thousands of spectators what we had was a single main road of a neighbouring village, this road being about twice the length of Bozytown 3, i.e not long! with about from half way up to the stage packed with folks, and a stage which was about the size and position of Panorama Bar is on Soi 3 at the top. It was weird as there were abodes on both sides of the road right up to the stage and spectators with plastic chairs, stools and standing or rather dancing to the music in folks front properties, about 15-20 participants on stage much less than 'normal'. Only two booze sellers and 3-4 food stalls, very small. Approached the booze stall to see, in addition to cans of Chang/Leo beer, full bottles of Blend285/Sang Som etc.. which is very unusual, on further discussion it seems the booze sellers have gone 'upmarket' and where they used to sell Lao-Dong-Ya, a heady concoction of who knows what, in plastic bags with a straw, now have re-used old whisky bottles filled with this dodgy substance and paper cups as glasses.

General attendees at front e.g older folks, mums/dads young kids. and at the back, mats laid down by katoeys and gay lads where they set out beer and Lao-Dong-Ya bottles and cups while dancing round them. Nothing with alcoholic content was spilled! At the sides the local youths, tattooed males, and single men in groups. Occassionally a katoey or gay lad will 'invite' one of the youths/men to join him for a shot of 'dark piss' aka-"Lao-Dong-Ya". The manly men have no shyness whatsoever at being given the 'come-hither' by another guy as long as it is perfectly clear that the inviter is clearly gay/femme/katoey.....actually perfectly acceptable.....nay..expected... even in return for kiss/cuddle/grope. The gay/katoey lads have dressed up in glad-rags for the occasion with some revealing very short cut shorts etc... the men showing as much interest in them as they do the actual females at the event. But one or two anomalies......like 'Peach'.When I first knew 'Peach' he was a 16 year old petite-featured gay/katoey since puberty and manliness have taken hold and he is 22 he is now nearly 6' and despite the various pills he takes to encourage female hormones he has a deep voice, large adams apple, strong muscley legs, large hands, size 10+ feet and nothing like a feminine katoey, except for his bubble butt......but still gets attention!

So plenty going on around us, I have only once tasted 'Lao-Dong-Ya' the drink of choice for getting legless, and it was so disgusting, so toxic I almost threw up there and then, so bf and me on beer! As this event is well away from 'the village' bf can now safely point out just who is 'gik' with who, and who if bf/gf with who. His 19 year old niece has a bf, the family are unaware, they meet up here. One or two of the "sexuality unsure" lads are mixing with both cute females and cute males.....we will have to wait until a 'pair' actually disappear at the same time to know for sure! Bf is keeping 'an eye' on it for me. But after only an hour of dancing/singing and partying, the mood onstage changes. Off go the dancers, on come 5 sombre individuals, the older man in the centre starts chanting 'stuff' and talking forever on the 'mike' OH NO! declare the katoeys.....it is to mainly be a "pook fie"/"fire pook" event! can't remember which way round...but what it means is that we will now have remembrance of deceased family members with a Buddhist ceremony, and a squib/firework/rocket fired into the sky. This is a "Pook Fie/fire" where the soul of the deceased individual is fired heaven-wards to the comfort of the relatives....

Some of the ungenerous katoeys are making funny though very ungracious comments about these souls merely landing in a rice paddy field a few hundred meters away than some heaven-made eutopia. But this section of the event now kills the fun and atmosphere......a total let down for us. But as it is a night of 'freedom' for the youths, 16-18s they stay until the bitter end quietly drinking and/or joking around with friends. No trouble at this event whatsoever, far too staid for the katoeys! better if someone is fighting over one of them! We retreat back to somebodys home to irritate their neighbours instead by conducting further drinking and fun session.

But 4 have disappeared!! 3 males and one female! So one 'suspected gay' has gone off with a female, and another of the 'suspected' gays has disappeared with an apparently str8 male friend, who just happens to be very cute with a lot of stylish clothes and carefully styled hair! Much gossip ensues! "I knew it!!" " I knew they were fucking!" says one...to huge amount of laughing from the rest.... but all in the best possible taste of course! But despite the disappointment of the event, it was still alot of fun for me as the only westerner and the gay lads/katoeys are really funny, and many of the apparently srt8 lads also up for a huge doze of sanuk too! Overall, well worth staying over for another night.

Enough rambling for now. Regret length and any errors but I just wrote it up from memory without too much proof reading.

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