arsenal proudly proclaims himself to be British. Did the British Foreign Secretary hint at a meeting with him earlier this month? "As I have just discovered we have more than a million who go to Thailand every year", Boris said, "where ... they get up to the most eye-popping things". I eagerly await the #BlackFrocksMatter brigade's statement on this revelation. Mind you, I've always though Pattaya to be the ideal setting for a very down-market version of Terence Rattigan's Separate Tables. At least many of its denizens can now find new places to holiday and fresh occupations, courtesy of Oxfam

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