Day 1

My first trip report for Sawatdee Forum, and as Day One was a travelling day, I'll set out the ground rules. First thing to state is that I'm travelling with the bf. He's Indonesian (Javan) and quit simply the loveliest bloke you could ever hope to meet. He is also under the impression that being partners means that we are monogamous. Which at least one of us is not. It is a topic of ongoing discussion. He always plans to leave me to get married (to a girl - and thus get the family off his back) soonish, so I feel less guilt that I otherwise might.

Secondly, my travel modus operandi. I travel for food, drink and massages. And well, if the truth be known, enjoying the visual delights of the male species that inhabit our planet.

Someone else on this forum expressed a sentiment that is close to how I approach the massages... that is I do not go expecting or wanting to find sex. In fact, I hope it never happens. Instead I want to be teased and titilated. I want the suggestion to be there, the longing and thoughts that it is entirely possible. I realise that is different to the majority of people on this Board. Two suggested reasons why. Firstly I have observed that I only remember the men I didn't - but cold have - had. It's weird, but once I have sex with someone they vanish from my memory. Of course, writing about them in a forum like this helps... but I only remember probably 3 of the 100's of guys I've slept with in Thailand. But I remember every guy I didn't sleep with that (in my addled mind) could have happened. Weird, but true. The second reason is that the amount that some other members spend on their indulgence in the Land of Smiles just makes my eyes water. Something an ordinary pleb like myself just could not afford.

We got into Bali at about 11:00pm, about 30 minutes behind schedule, despite leaving Melbourne on time. No biggie, and normally I love the air travel part of a holiday. But this plane's seats seemed unusually cramped, and then it turned out they didn't take credit card, so my onboard purchases were limited. Yes it was a budget line - AirAsia - an airline I rate highly. But one Bintang an enjoyable air journey does not make.

Customs was a bit of a breeze, but the hike of a visa to $50 was a slap in the face. Then the luggage conveyor kept breaking down. It really was one of the silliest designs ever seen (in keeping with much of the "new" Ngurah Rai International Airport). What a dud. When staff could not be found, intrepid fellow travellers jumped onto the conveyor to clear the resulting carnage more than once. A joke.

We stopped by Loata a 24 hour restaurant for our ritual Bubur - rice porridge - this time with prawns. God I love it.

And finally crashed into bed at 2am, 5am Hobart time. I'd been up for 22 hours.