Is the word " I love you" has any meaning at all?

[ziv77]

I am posting this question after having a very bad experience just last week. The story begins when I wrote to J ..who I saw in Gay Thailand. He is from Vietnam, 28 years of age, very cute, has a nice smile, Intelligent, university graduate. We were writing to each other for almost 4 months in the Internet, sending SMS messages. Slowly, getting to know each other, We both felt attached to each other, to the extent that every mail was signed off with "I love you" "I think about you all the time" "I miss you" and more. I wish to emphasize, that I live 10,000 km away from Vietnam. With the messages, I begun to phone him occasionally, and indeed i fell in love with a person that I never met. I was led to believe that our feelings are both mutual, and we love each other very much. So far so good. We made a point to meet in Bangkok last week for few days and then go to Pattaya, being together with each other. Proper arrangments were made, I booked hotel in Bangkok and J.. booked in Pattaya. On the 12 of this month, J.. flew in from Vietname and I flew to Bangkok. He was waiting for me at the airport, and our meeting was very exciting. Sex between us was divine. I gave J.. many presents that I brought over for him, but never heared the word "THANKS": Of course, Being the older guy, I paid for our meals etc. The second date I took J.. to a fancy resturant, after having a good dinner together we left. Again, J.. never said "thanks". This has moved me a bit to the extent that I asked him, why dont you say thanks? you are inviting a guy every where, at leasr the guy should appreciate it. From my question, J.. was offended - yes offended and made a sour face From that point, I dont know nor understand, our relations started to deteriorate, and next day, J.. decided to take a room by himself, and not to stay with me, claiming, that he has to work at night, as he brought over his laptop with him. We of course continued to stay at the same hotel, I on floor 11, he on floor 12. I tried to understand, asking him, how can you say that you love and make such a big fuss out of a question, but never got a striaght forward reply. One evening we stil went out, the remining 2 evenings J.. went out by himself. I understood that he will be going by himself to Pattaya. I have tried to reason with him why he is behaving the way that he does but to no avail. I came from such a long way to be with him, as all was planed between us, and suddenly because of my question, everything turned upside down. On Saturday the 17th inst, I left the hotel early in the morning, going to Thai office downtown, and J.. left for Pattaya. When I camr back I found a note from him say that he is sorry for hurting me, signing "I LOVE YOU"
I was down to earth, and so hurt, that I guy whom I stil love very much can act the way he did. Never will understand how can one hurt the other with no reason at all. I decided that i am going back to my country, after having changed my flight ticket for Sunday the 18th.

I phoned j... in pattaya and told him that i leave tomorow, and thought that he would have at least phoned to ask how do i feel but yok.

J... has the habit to reply to almost everyone who writes to him signing these messages "Kiss and Hugs", while on one hand telling me of his love to me etc. he told me about an Australian guy who is prepared to do everything for him, planing to visit him at the end of the year in Vietnam. May be J.. writes tp him ,as well as ,to me that he loves him, who knows? I love him very much and I am so hurt by him of no reason whatsoever, and fail to understand this situation. How can a guy spit in your face the way he did. He is not a guy of the street, he is well manered and educated. God - who can give me a reply as to WHY??? I said to him ok just let me know why??? True, the world did not start with J... nor will it end with him.

Readers, please let me have your opinion, as I am now in a terrible state of mind, feeling very hurt with tears in my eyes
Thanks

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Thank you is not something part or said in the asian culture. It is something we as westerners are brought up to say and expect in return for giving something. Most thai boys after being around farangs know that we expect it and will say thank you. This is where two cultures collide and often makes it difficult in dealing with an boy. The failure here is to understand asian culture and expect too much from the boy too quickly as he first must understand you and what you want to hear. That being said It sound slike their may be a wife or gf on the side.

"Thank you" is not said in Asian culture? But bar boys have somehow "learned that farangs expect it", so they say it?

Where do you morons come up with this stupid misinformation?

[ziv77]

Is that a reason to behave the way he did just because of a difference between cultures?
He knows quite well to say thank you and he did say it on few occasions but not to me. This notwithstanding the fact that the guy in question is well educated

I love you and i love sex with you mean so many different things.

1 is so eay to say - the other is nice but often can change quickly.

99% of asians do say thank you - but its if they mean it or not is what you need to know.

Well, thank you is used differently in Thailand, than at least the US.
Americans quite often have the habit of saying Thank You in a restaurant everytime a waiter brings anything. This can get to be a little ridiculous if you keep asking for little services, but again, it is quite common, and considered good manners.
In Thailand, I have been advised by Thais that to say thank you to a waiter for ANYTHING makes you the Thank You sayer look like a freakin' idiot. It is still a hard habit to break.

About your Viet guy, yes there are cultural differences, but he sounds like a higher end MB to me, eh?

[ziv77]

The Isuue here is not thank you yes or no. The issue here is that I believed in a guy who wrote to me every day how much he loves me, and that he thinks of me all the time, and that for almost 4 months with messages going back and forth, and all of that before we met. When we did meet he was offended about my remark that at least thanks you I deserve for gifts given to him, for spending money etc. All what i wanted is for him to show some kind of appreciation. He is not a money boy by all means. , and because of a remark made by me our whole relation broke up. I am asking is that Love?? I am not naive but how can anyone behave to another, when I came 10000 km to be with him as we plant
This is the issue not the thanks you

Who can know exactly what went on between you to, but as an outsider looking at what you said, I don't think it is at all surprising that a love relationship started BEFORE meeting in person fizzled out so quickly in REAL LIFE. In fact, it would be much more uncommon if it didn't. Ever consider he used the thank you issue as an excuse? Anybody experienced in relationships and relationship ENDINGS knows about the MOMENT in a newer relationship when one or both realize IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. It is usually a very little thing, but it just RUBS the WRONG WAY, and the other realizes he really doesn't or cannot have love feelings for the other. I think your friend had a MOMENT.

[Dboy]

In asian culture, relations between humans are considered to be a type of warfare. Seems to be that "love" is another tool in this war.


Dboy

I'm still trying to figure out what "Asian culture" is. I suppose it may refer to that which is common between the cultures of Papua New Guinea, Bhutan, Iran, and Sri Lanka...whatever that may be.

And you guys laugh at Thai boys for thinking all "farangs" are the same!