Danny99 - you are spot on!! I have written before that I am amazed at the availability of free sex in Thailand (even in Pattaya). I haven't paid for 20 yrs. However, being here for a few months at at a time helps. Familiarity helps acceptance, esp at a sauna. Smiling helps too. My 50 yr old Thai BF is getting more advances from young thai guys than ever before. We have had a 3 way three times in the last few weeks with guys met at Silom2. I have never seen this happen as much in the 16 yrs we have been together. I trembled at going to DJs after such a long absence but I find that the scene there is much more Thai Thai now but also the guys are more confident and assertive. If you start up a conversation you might just get lucky.
Now, I am 57 and chubby (but trying to get fit) but I try hard to present a non-scary farang image.
If you only go to commercial boy bars, you are likely to have a very limited view of Thai gay society.