Do Thais Fall In Love?

While it is a popular western view that 'falling in love' or 'romantic love' is a natural part of the human condition, others say it is merely cultural conditioning. Some psychologists say it was invented 800 years ago, others that it exists but is a rare experience in older cultures, somewhat akin to temporary insanity!

Now I am certain that Thai mothers love their children the same way Western mothers do, and friends love each other, and there is sexual love, and familial love etc. And I know to that Thais place a greater emphasis on the practicality of a relationship but what I'm really interested in is if 'romantic love' or 'limerence' or 'infatuation' is a foreign concept to Thais?

When I ask a Thai boy if he loves me (in a romantic way), is it a meaningless question? The same as if he asked me if I have 'lost face'? A near-meaningless concept in my culture.

I'm curious to hear the opinions of those more familiar with Thai culture than I.

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[dab69]

Some psychologists say it was invented 800 years ago, others that it exists but is a rare experience in older cultures, somewhat akin to temporary insanity!

Psychologists dream up a lot of crap
based on their own views and little else.
Take most of BL's posts for example.

some will tell you what they think you want to hear,
a few others won't. most could deduce this
on their own

Intertesting topic - and a question I have always wondered about myself so I look forward to reading other posters opinions on the matter - although apparently I must be ok as every Thai guy I ever meet ends up apparently "loving me TOO much" so I assume that they MUST mean real love as sure if it's not that then that only leaves loving me for my money or for when I'm "looking after them" and as that fact would be just too sad to comtemplate I think I'll just go on deluding myself for just a little while longer while I can ! :-)

As it appears that there is at least some biological aspect to "love" then there is no reason to think that Thais love any less than others. I think it is a pretty universal human emotion. Culture will obviously affect how that love is expressed.

[Wesley]

As it appears that there is at least some biological aspect to "love" then there is no reason to think that Thais love any less than others. I think it is a pretty universal human emotion. Culture will obviously affect how that love is expressed.

I agree, even now that I know who once In a while is now hehehe. I use to think it was Homiturns second personaity but in a bad mood. Finally in a note I found out who he is. I will try not to shout!

Wesley please do enlighten all of us to my true identity. I shall be curious to know who I really am. Shout it to the world.

Wow! What a deep and complex question you have raised and certainly has multiple answers. This will be very interesting to see what others think.

First, I think that for the most part you are incorrect that MOTHERS LOVE THEIR CHILDREN the same as in the Western world. I truly believe that while some parents love their children here, that having children for most is solely to bring money into the family now and during the parents elder life. A money making machine and no more.

I base that on the many relationships I have had with the boys. The constant phone calls to get money from them, the phone calls that they are not earning and sending into the parents enough money. The fact that they constantly have to return home because the parents need tand expect them to care for the etc. Oh sure there is a type of love for some but I dont think much and definately not like the West.

I have personally seen where a son has not sent "enough" money home and the parents have said that he and his wife and thier child were not welcome in thier home. I think pretty cruel but it is what I have heard before. Parents here can be demanding in this region of the world or at least Thailand.
That is why it is "expected" that what they earn from us, 50% is sent immeadiately home to thier family. It is expected of them.

Now on to the question of love to a farang.
I believe that we are money machines for the most part. I believe that there is LOVE to a farang for the constant support, for food, shelter and clothes.
That we take care of a boy or girl and in turn take care of thier family. I believe that at first, it is probably only money. I believe that there is a certain type of love or rather like otherwise they will not go with you. That thought was the same as someone once told me. I think that if they dont really care for you they wont go with you. I believe that they never have enough no matter how much or what you give them. That they will go out and look for a way to supplement what you give, either turning more tricks or what have you but it is never enough.

I do believe that over a period of a faw years, that this can form INTO a type of love.If they are straight, not the same love that they can have for a girl but you already know that. I have a straight boyfriend that I have had for 4 - 5 years that I truly believe he has formed a bond with me but it is not the same as he has for his Thai girlfriend. I would also think that might be true of a boy and a younger Thai boyfreind.

I think that Thailand is a wonderful place in that we can truly believe what we want to believe and that their are boys and girls here that allow us to live out our fantasies or dreams. Allow us to be happy in our senior years as long as we keep some rules and restraints on the situation or we will swiftly become depressed and broke and they will just move on to the next farang. thats why the suicide rate here is so high I think.

I hope we all find someone to take care of US and keep us happy because that is the important thing at this stage of life, that WE are happy. We cant repeat these years. As the boys constantly say..... "are you happy?" ...... "up to you". Remember these are OUR golden years and that it is important what we want and need and in return, well maybe we give them the love that thier mothers and families do not give them, the support they lack not to have to look for thier next meal or baht.

I dont think we will ever know the true answer but this will be an interesting thread to read for sure!
:love4:

If someone asked me this question 7 years ago, 3 weeks after my arrival in Thailand, I'd have said: Sure 'love' means love!

After 7 years I know better (at least I think I know). 2 Days ago, my ex, told me that he loves me.........Slightly puzzled I asked: "How, why?"
Of course no straight answer, but in a few words I made clear that the "love" wasn't mutual. Sure I know what he meant; he loves me like a father.......but since I am gay, I skipped out the fact of having children of my own, and I'm not up for this kind of crap.

Now, If just some running-in-the-wild barboy tells me that he loves me, I laugh out loud and give him the choice:
- I give you THB 1000 here and now OR
- we go to my room and make love....for free.
In the answer is the real meaning of the Thai love!!

[netrix]

wow.

i can't resist....
the op asked if thai's fall in love, not if moneyboys from the village with stingy
character-flawed parents fall in love with old farang.

thais in general are extremely romantic. the whole culture is romantic. and i'd
say they fall in love deeply and often haha. i'm not referring to the "i lub u so mush"
guys, i mean true romantic love.

but i've dated mostly middle-class, college educated city boys with good jobs
in thailand. (yes there are lots) i've spent plenty of time with barboys and have
had plenty of them "fall in love" and maybe some of them are sincere, but if there's
money involved it's not the same. plus i think being only about 10 years older than
most of the guys i've dated in thailand makes a difference.

the op asked if thai's fall in love, not if moneyboys from the village with stingy
character-flawed parents fall in love with old farang.

Yes - thanks for getting us back on topic! Those other topics are interesting too, but right now I'm interested to find out whether the Thais(of any gender/orientation) are really susceptible to the 'Romeo and Juliet' experience (with anyone - thai or falang).