...and here i was led to believe that the locals existed in a happy cloud of Budda induced tantric wellness at peace with the universe with no worries....
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...and here i was led to believe that the locals existed in a happy cloud of Budda induced tantric wellness at peace with the universe with no worries....
Two of the problems crippling many Thai families is alcoholism and infidelity. The farther you travel upcountry, the more apparent this becomes.
Unfortunately, especially for the children, many adult men drink alcoholically and cheat on their wives as regular as clockwork. This is just the way it is for a large percentage of families, especially in the more rural areas. It's like children raising children, with most of the household burden belonging to the mother and/or other family elders, where the fathers often end up deserting their families at some juncture as the pressure builds.
As most of us know, this is why many Thai boys are fatherless.
I cringe every time I hear about these guys getting their penises chopped off with a machete for cheating on their spouses. If anyone's confused about the importance of monogamy in a Thai relationship, just ask a str8 man who's received a fee sex change operation without ever asking for one.
You're spot on here, Dodger.
It's a tale I've heard many times over the years and sums up the situation of my Pattaya friend, Nom. His father was addicted to pain killers and Nom became the sole breadwinner at the age of 10, if memory serves me correctly.
Which begs the question - do some guys see certain farang as the father they never had?
It is undeniably true that young Asian men (not just Thai) are more likely to be attracted to older guys than young men in the West. The evidence is there in the saunas, both Asian and European. I put it down to the in-grained respect that young Asians have for older people but there are no doubt other reasons too.
"Which begs the question - do some guys see certain farang as the father they never had?"
Or wanted.
Being serious it's quite possible a young Thai boy sees his well to do falang as an idealised father figure. In which case disappointment for both sides is guaranteed.
The answer to this just has to be YES.
With the types of age gaps we're talking about, coupled with some of the boys growing up without having a solid father figure in their lives, it only makes sense that this would come into play.
If a farang has never spent any time in a typical remote Thai village, it would be hard for him to even imagine the hardships involved, let alone draw any conclusions regarding a Thai boys true character.
Frankly, and I don't mean for this to sound like I'm some kind of expert on this, because I'm certainly not, but I don't see how a farang could communicate well enough with a Thai boy to really make a connection (or offer any fatherly advice), if he hadn't spent at least some time experiencing the type of environment he came from.
I've known many really great Thai boys who would give anything to hook up with a genuine person (young or old) who doesn't view them merely as a "sex object", and who is willing to give them the type of guidance and security they need to excel. This is the type of substance they're looking for in a true partner. Someone who really cares - and someone they can really trust.
That is true in my experience. "Papa sawng" is a standing joke between P and me. And it's not just a joke. It took me nine years of butterflying in Pattaya to learn that I needed more than sex. And, as Dodger says, a visit to his parents' home changed my understanding of the nature of our relationship.
Likewise, my butterfly wings stayed firmly glued on my back for 15 years, but eventually, after having interactions with a thousand guys (and only remembering 5 of their names), I started coming to the same conclusion.
I had failed attempts before, understand the landscape, and had no delusions about the age, social, and cultural difference's, but decided to plow ahead anyway. If Tom Hanks could bond with a volley ball named Wilson (movie Cast Away), then I felt anything was possible.
I was married to a younger Thai male in another life who died tragically in 2012. I'll spare you the details. It wasn't until 2014 that Wilson came floating up on the shore...different chemistry...different universe...different shapes...different sizes...different languages...with the one-and-only common link between us being the fact that we were both water-logged and stranded on a shore...looking to bond with something or someone to add some meaning to our lives. We started bonding almost effortlessly...more and more as time passed...until any apprehensions we had regarding our differences just vanished, as if they were just delusions. Strange really!
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