Robbed!

[colmx]

Hi all
After 11 years of visiting Thailand and meeting honest boys i finally got robbed tonight

Offed a boy from a Pattayaland soi 1 bar and went with him my BF and his friends to NAB for a few hours... then i went back to room with teh boy when BF stayed in teh disco

Of course this 11 years of honest boys has me lulled into a false sense of security and i foolishly left my wallet in the room when i was in the shower
Minutes earlier (when he was in the shower) i had set aside 1400B in my wallet to give to him.
I was not drink at the time so know i didn't make a mistake

When I went to give him money my wallet was in another pocket of my jeans and the set aside money for him money had disappearred!
Of course I should have confronted him there and then but i didn't.

Instead i made a big deal of looking for the money in my wallet. In the meantime the boy went to the toilet and vomited (i presume it was vomit of guilt and not form being with me!). In the end i gave him the 1000 of the remaining 1800 that he had left in the wallet but still never accussed him

Anyway - the point of this whole thread is to ask the users here what they would do in this situation?
I know that it was a small amount that he took - but i guess the principle is still the same

BF wants to go have it out with the guy in his bar tomorrow

Friend of BF wants me to bring the police to the boys bar tomorrow to confront him - but of course i have no proof that he stole the money - only thing i have is the certainty that he took it

My inclination is to let things be... but then if he gets away with it this time... what might he do next time...

Opinions?

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[Impulse]

Sorry to hear this Colmx.

I would not get the police involved over this amount.You were breaking the law anyway with the prostitute.
maybe i would consider confronting the guy,if you feel it's worth it to you.Like you already stated,should have confronted him,then and there.It's very easy for him to simply deny it now.
If it was me,I would try to forget it,and feel fortunate that after 11 years,that is the only amount that I had gotten ripped off.If it was a larger amount,I would have to re consider

I agree in a way with Rocket.
First, you should really only stay in a hotel or room that has a safe.
Before and I do mean before, you bring someone to your room, lock up your phone, money and passport. anything of value.
Have a great time with whoever you bring to the room and finish.
I always make it a policy to thank them, pay them and let them OUT of the room and LOCK MY door before I go take a shower.
When I decide to leave a boy out of sight, I leave them with the constant eye of my boyfreind.

As far as confronting the boy, well the money is gone. As far as the police, well the money is gone. It is NOT the bars fault but I might report it to the bar and if it is a reputable place, they may take SOME action, especially if you offed the boy from THAT BAR. If you picked him up in the Soi, well nothing there you can do.

I think the live and learn approach is going to be the ultimate here or reporting it to the bar. Just remember to keep your head cool and that it was not the bars doing. Either way, I am sure you won't get any money back. At the most the bar will let him go if he has not already quit.

Good luck

unkiebuck - since you run a gogo bar yourself, what would you want a customer to do if the boy came from your bar?
1. Do you want to know? Do you want to be told?
2. What do you consider is fair to the boy when there is no proof?
3. How do you manage the risk that it could be a totally false report by a malicious customer dissatisfied with the boy's performance*?
--
* purely hypothetical. I am not, not, not, suggesting in anyway that colmx is being malicious. He has posted on forums long enough for us to know he loves Thailand and its boys and is nothing at all like that.

[CoffeeBreak]

I am a bit surprised you did not confront the thief there and then when you discovered the missing money. But instead you gave him more money?
In any event you asked for an opinion:

Go along to the bar concerned and have a discrete word with mama san/boss of the place. See what their input is.
Whether you want to confront the boy if indeed he is working when you go to the bar depends on what the mama san or boss says.

Tell us what you decide to do.

ps: I have no doubt that he did steal from you as given half a chance most of them- for whatever reason- will do or try to do that. The secret is not to give them half a chance as you have acknowledged.

[newalaan]

In the end i gave him 1000 of the remaining 1800 that he had left in the wallet but still never accussed him

Colmx, sorry to hear of this incident. In my opinion the opportunity you had to confront him has gone. If it were me I would have confronted him the second you were SURE the set-aside money had gone.

I agree the principle is important but i would definitely not involve the police or the bar. What is the point of this? You have absoluely no proof and it should have been delt with at the time. I'm not sure why you decided to give him MORE money if you were certain he had stolen the Bt1400, especially if you were also sure your wallet had been moved. Faffing about making a fuss about your wallet is more showing the boy you are either unwilling(for what ever reason) to confront him or weak.

Comx, I would be interested to know why you didn't confront him and why you gave him more money as you don't explain why you took that route rather than the obvious one.

The only thing you could do in hindsight is talk to him on the quiet in the bar to let him know that you know he stole the money just to make the point that you know, but if he has done this before and is a bit of an opportunist it will probably be like water off a ducks back. Trouble with hindsight accusations is the fact of no actual proof, and no police or bar owner would or should take an accusation seriously when you did nothing about it at the time. Only in my opinion.

I can understand your bf wanting to 'sort him out' but you really need to ignore any advice from your bf, put your disappointment or anger aside and as another poster said be thankful that in 11 years it is the only time it has happened.

On a side note however, one thing that does surprise me is the amount of guys who take a wallet around with them. When going out to the bars or discos i only ever take enough money in my pocket for the evening. High notes (Bt1000/Bt500) in the left hand pocket, small notes (Bt20/50/100) in the right hand pocket. Room keys and ID are the only other items i take out with me. Back in the room I always invite the boy to shower first if it's not together and while he is in the shower transfer everything out of my pockets into the safe apart from the tip. If he steals that, it was his anyway and it would not be worth the trouble to argue about it, he simply would never see me again.

unkiebuck - since you run a gogo bar yourself, what would you want a customer to do if the boy came from your bar?
1. Do you want to know? Do you want to be told?
2. What do you consider is fair to the boy when there is no proof?
3. How do you manage the risk that it could be a totally false report by a malicious customer dissatisfied with the boy's performance*?
--
* purely hypothetical. I am not, not, not, suggesting in anyway that colmx is being malicious. He has posted on forums long enough for us to know he loves Thailand and its boys and is nothing at all like that.

:santa:

Let me answer in the way you asked first.
1. Why CERTAINLY WITHOUT QUESTION I would want to be told!!
2. In that there is no proof, "I" would look at his past record. How long he has been at the bar, has he had ANY complaints etc. If he was brand new, I would dismiss him for some other reason. I would not want to wait for a second problem. Thats if the customer sounded true. It just is not worth the risk of it happening again.
If this was a sole instance, I would have a very deep talk with the boy and make sure that he understands that this would not be tolerated in my bar and if there was even a hint that something happened with another customer, he would be dismissed and we would pass the information around the area.
as far as I am concerned, I do not want to have the risk that ANY customer would tell his friends that he was ribbed off by one of my boys. It is just not worth the risk.

3. I think the above answers #3 also.

4. I would buy the customer at least one drink and apologize and offer him a second off at no charge. All to satsfy the customer.

Now that is MY bar and my bar alone. I speak for no other bar and I truly believe that while most of the bars on Soi 2 and 3 would do the same, I cannoot speak for Soi 1 but I would hope they would follow most of what I would do. Soi 1 is known for more transient boys.

I am really sorry that this happened to you and I do agree with the other poster that many boys steal and go to another bar. They dont care.

Please use my advise as before. Lock your money away in a safe, not in your shoe or under the mattress. Make sure the safe is a bolted one. When you are finished, let THEM take a shower or take one together. Dont you leave ANY boy in your room ALONE. When you are finished, thank you and good bye. I dont sleep with any because I dont want to sleep with one eye open. I am sure someone will disagree, but there you have my opinion.

Thanks

[Koh Samui Luv]

It is amazing that someone would be so fucking stupid as to bring back a boy he doesn't know to his room and leave his wallet alone in the room with him while he showers.

colmx, this is one of the dumbest things I have ever read on this forum and I noted that you even posted the same story on Gaybuttonthai as well.

After proving yourself to be nothing more than a buffoon, do you really expect me to have any sympathy for you?

OMG! OMG! OMG!

[Beachlover]

It's a shame (though understandable) you weren't in a state to think on your feet and confront the boy on the spot.

I think it's worth going back to the bar to let the manager know, not so much so he can put your case right but so it accumulates "on the boy's record" which is important if he is or is to be a serial offender. If he was throwing up with fear in your room he might crap himself when he sees you talking to the manager LOL.

Whatever the kind of hotel I'm in, whether guesthouse or five-stars, I have a few rules of thumb.

When I exit the room, anything of value goes into a locked suit case or safe, secure from cleaners, break ins and corrupt/thieving staff. This shit happens in the best of hotels. Also means it only takes me 5 mins to pack when I want to check out.

You should secure your stuff when inviting anyone back to your room in a country where there's likely a big wealth gap between you and the locals.

When I invite anyone back to my room, everything's already secured and my wallet/mobile etc. go into the safe as soon as walk in the room. That's the biggest advantage of a safe (over a locked suit case)... it's convenient to put stuff in and take it out anytime without fiddling with bags and locks.

This way, I don't worry about my belongings at all when someone else is around. In fact, I'm quite happy to leave someone alone in my room as I've often done. If they want to sleep and I want to grab breakfast or do a bit of work in the exec lounge, I just leave a note or tell them where they can find me when they wake up.

[Beachlover]

It is amazing that someone would be so fucking stupid as to bring back a boy he doesn't know to his room and leave his wallet alone in the room with him while he showers. colmx, this is one of the dumbest things I have ever read on this forum and I noted that you even posted the same story on Gaybuttonthai as well. After proving yourself to be nothing more than a buffoon, do you really expect me to have any sympathy for you? OMG! OMG! OMG!

LOL... what was that you said about my "shoot the messenger" habit?