My boyfriend and his eyes - lets try again...

I'll start a new thread as I obviously overreacted to previous posts about my boyfriend's eyes and made a mess of my reply. If I misinterpreted some replies as hostile then I apologise. I've not revisited that thread and nor will I now.

I was under the extreme stress of trying to get news when my only contact was my boyfriend who was blind and using his mobile was difficult for him to say the least. If he has information to relay to me the easiest way is usually via a text when he can copy English details etc which he can't actually read out to me. This has become impossible for him as he can't even see his mobile.

He's still in the hospital where he was first taken which is not his normal HIV clinic. He's also still unable to see except for blurred images in subdued light. He will probably be there for at least another week and it could be two more weeks beyond that before it's clear if his sight will recover or how badly it's been effected.

Tests suggest that there isn't permanent damage but a constant discharge from both eyes is making a definite answer impossible at the moment. His eyes are cleaned and medicine given every four hours. He's no longer being put on an intravenous drip.

Through all this his mother has done her best to help but she is not well herself and finds travelling from Ratchaburi to Bangkok very tiring. His father died around six years ago. All his family know about me and it isn't a problem but I have to be careful in how far I try to interfere as I'm still a "Farang" and I'm not actually there except for a few weeks a year.

In some ways he's lucky in that he does get the support from relatives that many HIV+ Thais are denied. My boyfriend has made many friends in hospitals only to see them die and then for him to be the only one at the funeral. I can't risk interfering with that family care and support and can't just "take over" from the UK.

His CD4 count remains at a much higher level than was the case a few months ago so hopefully his body is able to fight this infection as well as the drugs. He continues to insist "Me stong" (I'm strong) and his main complaint at the moment is that he is given showers by a woman "Me shy my body!". He's also very bored but does seem to have finally accepted that he must stay where he is as long as the doctor tells him to. A very big worry was that he was going to discharge himself which even with no sight at all I wouldn't have put past him.

So still early days and the final outcome is uncertain but he remains optimistic and his sense of humour, which deserted him for a while, has returned which is always a good sign.

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I have read this post over the last couple of days and tried to ignore it. I have obviously not succeded.
May I ask:-
1...What do you hope to achieve from these posts? (Be assured your friend has everyones sympathy!)
2...Most posters here don't know you or your friend so what is it that you would like us to do?
3...If the post is made to solicit funds for your friend, why not just come out and say it, the answer will be in the negative I think.
4...Does your friend know that you are posting his personal, unfortunate illness on a global web board?
I would be distraught if someone was discussing my illness on this forum. It could be considered an invasion of privacy.
5...Given that you have had no other replies to this (new) thread as many who enjoy this board are maily here for fun and do not wish to read such depressing, albeit humaitarian stories. That being taken as a 'given' many (maybe most) don't give a flying Fuc* about your posts.

WHY, WHY, WHY.......are you posting this story, WHAT do you want us to do?

Once again I wish your friend every best wish possible, I am sorry he is unwell and hope he might have a great recovery.

YOU however.........JUST tell me why YOU think this persons personal health issues are important to this board!

[Hmmm]

Please keep posting if you feel it helps you or your bf. If there is any information you need regarding your bf's condition, there is bound to be someone here who can point you in the right direction. Don't interpret the lack of responses as a lack of compassion or interest on our part. The earlier thread got off track and perhaps we were all treading more carefully second time around.

I have read this post over the last couple of days and tried to ignore it. I have obviously not succeded.
May I ask:-
1...What do you hope to achieve from these posts? (Be assured your friend has everyones sympathy!)
2...Most posters here don't know you or your friend so what is it that you would like us to do?
3...If the post is made to solicit funds for your friend, why not just come out and say it, the answer will be in the negative I think.
4...Does your friend know that you are posting his personal, unfortunate illness on a global web board?
I would be distraught if someone was discussing my illness on this forum. It could be considered an invasion of privacy.
5...Given that you have had no other replies to this (new) thread as many who enjoy this board are maily here for fun and do not wish to read such depressing, albeit humaitarian stories. That being taken as a 'given' many (maybe most) don't give a flying Fuc* about your posts.

WHY, WHY, WHY.......are you posting this story, WHAT do you want us to do?

Once again I wish your friend every best wish possible, I am sorry he is unwell and hope he might have a great recovery.

YOU however.........JUST tell me why YOU think this persons personal health issues are important to this board!

I suppose the obvious reaction to aussieal's post is to say how horrible he is for the things he has said, whilst asking ourselves how someone could show such little compassion to anyone that is going through what Khun John is.

However, as someone that has never replied to any of the many posts that have been made by Khun John with regard to his boyfriends situation, this thread concerning the problem with his b/f's eyes and previously, in regard to his HIV status, I have to say that I think aussieal has a point in what he has said above.

The one thread of Khun John's that I did reply to and was happy to do so, was when he asked about where any of us thought would be a good place for him and his b/f to go to, in June. Whilst I consider myself to be a compassionate person, I gave up reading the other threads because of the fact that the threads resembled soap operas in which we were all waiting for the next installment. Not very enthusiastically in my case I have to admit, so much so that in the end I stopped reading them.

As a result I too must ask Khun John: WHY, WHY, WHY.......are you posting this story and the others? WHAT do you want us to do? I have seen many post in reply to your threads in which they have offered their moral support. What more can they do than this and have done many many times already.

With regard to what aussieal says here: Given that you have had no other replies to this (new) thread as many who enjoy this board are maily here for fun and do not wish to read such depressing, albeit humaitarian stories. That being taken as a 'given' many (maybe most) don't give a flying Fuc* about your posts.Whilst I won't be as harsh as he was in saying that most don't give a flying fuck about your posts, although that may be quite possible. I on the other hand don't see what more those that have replied to your posts in the past, can possibly say that they already haven't said to you many times. You can only say sorry so many times before it looses it's meaning.

I am sorry if this post of mine upsets you Khun John, but I am certain that both aussieal and myself are only saying what others are thinking, but are not as blunt as us by posting as we have done, in order to tell you what I believe is the truth where these threads of yours are concerned.

In closing and to reiterate what was said above by aussieal, let me tell you that I feel exactly the same as he does when he says, that in spite of everything we have raised, I too wish your friend every best wish possible, and am sorry he is unwell and hope he might have a great recovery. I also feel that this is something I can only say once to you, in order for it to mean anything, as I have said above.

I hope that you try and understand what has been said in both of our posts, as opposed to flying off the handle as you did before and perhaps, you just may be able to see where we are coming from and if you can, you may also be able to answer our questions, especially as to how you think we can help.



G.

For very first time I don't agree with George and what him wrote.
On another post we speak about barebaking, I think it's good for many of us to hear and to read what is the reality of HIV and AIDS.

And I am not in Kun jon mind, but if that help him to share, his feelings, his sadness, and his daily life with fighting against sickness of his BF, with us by this forum, why not ?

Yes, gaylife need fun, happiness, and we need to laugh, all together, we all know we have to kick this fucking disease out (only barebaker dont know).

But sometimes when you are alone at home, dont know who to phone, to speak or to go to see, why no let people think they can share a kind of their life in a forum or not to be alone fighting darkness ?

And if Kun jon feel better after write his post and give us news, and feel stronger to no stop the fight, this forum is really making a good job.

Keep posting Kun Jon, if some of the members don't like or can't understand why you post then they can do what all of us have the option of doing...Ignore and don't read!

Good luck to both of you.

>many (maybe most) don't give a flying Fuc* about your posts<

I've had enough replies both on the Forum and as Personal Messages to know that people are interested in my reports. But as I've no desire to visit a Forum where such ignorant and obviously unpleasant people as you also see fit post your nasty little messages I won't be back.

I had assumed that only those who where interested would read them as I always made the subject obvious. I'm very sorry for you that you can't even manage that, what a pathetic little prat you are.

To those who have offered genuine support thanks and farewell.

[allieb]

Kun Jon

Please keep posting The posts about your BF are clearly marked as to what they are about and if other posters like Ausaieal or George find them out of place, depressing or whatever, then I suggest they don't read them. Just as shops that display goods we don't like, we would be wrong to ask for them to be removed, someone will buy them.

I find you story heartbreaking and although it depresses me to read I am happy there are people like you out there who care and don't walk away. What you are doing for this boy is saving his life. As for what you expect from us as the same two posters ask. I would say you are looking for nothing but compassion and support in your and BF's time of need. You must be tearing apart and any support even from some of the freaks on this board is I'm sure a help.

We don't know his identity so it is irrelevant as to posting someones private medical file here.

I'm sure I don't have to tell you that amongst the gay community there are some who just want fun fun fun and shut out anything bad or sad. A sister is a sister is a sister and when things get rough for us girls we should stick together. You have my support and prayers and I hope that everyone including the objectors to your posts never find themselves in the same boat.

Aussieal the bit you wrote about soliciting funds was below the belt. Kun Jon has never even gone near indicating he was asking for financial help.

Kun Jon if you decide to stop posting I will PM you with my private email address and would like to receive regular updates about BF

Well said allieb...

Don't let the other guys beat you Jon and deprive those of us that genuinely care ( with updated information) for both what you are doing and what your boyfriend is struggling to do.
Please carry on posting you are a credit to us all.

[Brad the Impala]

What is this forum for, unless it is to share our experiences, good and bad, of life in Gay Thailand?

A rhetorical question I think.