There have been reports of strange disturbances on a plane flight from Canada to the Land of Smiles. Some yahoo, claiming to be freshly retired, had trouble getting through the xray machines due to the metal sole plates in his swampers (not to mention the behemouth size of the carry-on bags containing three tons of Canadian bacon and assorted sex toys).
Once released to the plane, his first on-flight problem began when he coupled with one of the cute asian flight attendants. He claimed that all he was trying to do was obey is ticket which he says ordered him to "Fly United." Once de-coupled, he was heard to repeatedly beg all witnesses something about not letting the pot call the kettle black (nobody could make sense of his rantings but it had something to do with a Pot and "not telling). Although the airline desired to de-plane the yahoo, he's continued on his journey due to the formal urging of the Canadian government that it was in the nation's interest that he be removed to the far side of the international date line.
The second reported in-flight disturbance related to his changing clothes in front of the other passengers. The nudity wasn't the problem (apparently there was nothing much to be seenтАж) but the resulting outfit caused the airplane to bounce up and down from the gaffawing of his 385 fellow passengers. Get this: black sandals with white socks, a multi-colored shirt (yellow, pink, blue, etcтАж. he was screaming something about "what's the king wearing today!"), a kilt he claimed he stole from Pearl's Swine Emporium, and a royal mountie hat that glowed in the dark. Once so attired, he then began bellowing out his thai translation of Indian Love Call while insisting that the airline crew change his official on-flight name to Jeannette Somchai McDonald.
Look out Suvarnabhumi!
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Originally Posted by Bob
