For those that knew him Dow from Sunee, Tam Nam Issan and Morlem Concerts etc died today :-(

[Nirish guy]

For those that knew him just a quick message to pass on that Dow who over the years frequented Sunee and boys town bars, both working and socially and was also a dancer in Tam Nam Issan and of late ran and worked at the bars at many of the Morlem Concerts in Pattaya etc died today - and on his Birthday too no less :-(

Dow was always the life and soul of any party and he and I spent many happy nights out on the town together drinking and partying like crazy. He'll be missed by many of his friends in Pattaya.

And the saddest part is that his death could so easily have been avoided just by simple early detection and then a medicinal intervention to treat his illness but alas as we hear all to often in Pattaya it seems still things were left until that moment to help had passed. So sad and so unnecessary. RIP Dow.
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[catawampuscat]

Always sad to hear of young men dying well before their time.

[anonone]

Thanks for passing on the news, NIrish.
I didn't know him, but always feel saddened by the death of one so young.

Hopefully you are doing OK. My condolences on the passing of your friend.

[Nirish guy]

Thanks Anon, Dow was a genuine friend rather than a love interest and we spent many drunken nights talking about his future plans ( he had many) and he was one of the smarter boys on the block and was putting money away for that future and I'm amazed ( but maybe not surprised) that his life ended so quickly, especially as he was normally fully aware of the dangers surrounding living in Pattaya etc and yes its always sad, especially when a death was so avoidable if medication had of been sought ( earlier) perhaps. However as Im sure we've all experienced at one time or another it's so much more frustrating and sad whenever that Thai logic of "oh well I'm sick now so there's no point doing much or anything about it now as sure it'll be fine, I'll be back shortly anyway again in my next life" - I guess at SOME level to have that faith and to believe it must be a wonderful thing - I guess :-(

[scottish-guy]

I've tried about 3 or 4 times to respond to this thread but each time I have deleted my draft, so I'm going to have to settle for saying this:

Some very stark photographs which remind me of how fragile life can be, and yet another tragic end to a young life.

I feel for NIrish too, as he was obviously close to this boy.

I personally have been quick to think that some working boys I have known are smart enough to look after themselves (and that can mean many things because of the many dangers that confront them) - but the reality is that if they were that smart they wouldn't still be in that line of business. My own observation has been that for every 1 that goes on to make something of himself there are countless others who literally didnt survive because of disease, suicide, violence, or misadventure brought on by alcohol/drugs/chaotic lifestyles.

As for the lack of an early diagnosis in this case, I understand what NIrish says about the Buddist acceptance of the inevitable, but I think its also easy to overlook the biggest factors which are IGNORANCE, FEAR, and STIGMA. Even amongst my own age group I find many people who have never had an HIV test for fear of a +ve result, the stigma that they believe would follow should others learn of that status, and ignorance of the fact that (in our countries at least) very effective treatment is available.

If mature people whom I regard as otherwise sensible and educated can hold those fears and attitudes whilst living in a first world country, then it's easy to imagine how it plays with younger and possibly less well-educated people in countries with a less developed public health system and practically no support services for those diagnosed as HIV+

By the way, I had intended to finish this post after line 3! Maybe I should have.

[fountainhall]

Even amongst my own age group I find many people who have never had an HIV test for fear of a +ve result, the stigma that they believe would follow should others learn of that status, and ignorance of the fact that (in our countries at least) very effective treatment is available.

I lived in fear of HIV tests in the years before anti-retrovirals when an HIV diagnosis meant death for all but a very, very few. For those in so called first world countries to have any sort of fear now is surely quite shocking. For in not knowing their own status, how many inadvertently pass on the virus to others? Despite the fear of stigma, it is an immensely selfish failure to act.

I know of one boy who used to work in one of the Bangkok bars who has been in and out of hospital for some time. He will not say what is wrong but he definitely has one major STD. Sadly he is one of the "countless others" Scottish mentions - and he is still not 25. In his case he rarely drank alcohol, did not take drugs and enjoyed a fairly stable lifestyle living with his mother. I can only hope he survives whatever is really wrong with him. But he looks terrible in his photos. It is all so sad!

[scottish-guy]

I accept all that you say Founty and it's all very sensible - but in defence of the friends and acquaintancies I am referring to I would have to say that they are from an age when if you felt all right then you just got on with things. I'm not saying that's right, it's just the way they are.

Further, in almost all cases the only sexual congress that takes place is cock to hand - so it's their own health they are risking.

But yes, the sensible thing is to get tested and treated if necessary.

I'm dismayed to hear about this boy in BKK - but if it's HIV he is suffering from it illustrates the shame he feels and the stigma he fears when he cant even confide in someone thousands of miles away. Can I ask what convinces you that its STD related rather than just run of the mill illness?

[anonone]

Thanks Anon, Dow was a genuine friend rather than a love interest and we spent many drunken nights talking about his future plans ( he had many) and he was one of the smarter boys on the block and was putting money away for that future and I'm amazed ( but maybe not surprised) that his life ended so quickly, especially as he was normally fully aware of the dangers surrounding living in Pattaya etc and yes its always sad, especially when a death was so avoidable if medication had of been sought ( earlier) perhaps. However as Im sure we've all experienced at one time or another it's so much more frustrating and sad whenever that Thai logic of "oh well I'm sick now so there's no point doing much or anything about it now as sure it'll be fine, I'll be back shortly anyway again in my next life" - I guess at SOME level to have that faith and to believe it must be a wonderful thing - I guess :-(

Maybe a wonderful thing for that person, but very hard on those in their life.

I won't pretend to understand the Thai mind. As hard as I try, I am not sure I ever will. But I do appreciate all the time I have spent with all my Thai friends. And I like to think they rub off on me a little to "not think so much". LOL and maybe I rub off a little on them to think they can change their own future.

Keep strong, my friend.

[latintopxxx]

scotty...very well written, brought a lump to my throat and made me a little teary eyed. I too can't understand why someone who had his wits about him failed to access the required medical assistance which as far as i understand is easily available and affordable even for working class Thais.

[arsenal]

It's not just the Thais is it. I remember that Steve Jobs thought he could beat cancer with some unusual treatments. By the time he realised he couldn't it was too late.