met a wonderful thai boy -confused ...

[BOY69]

Just came back from a wonderful trip in Thailand . I met on one of the Phuket bars a 19 YO Thai boy and we had a wonderful time for the last week of my trip took him with me to
Pattaya . the moment we met he immediately wanted us to be together , he always hold my hand outside , never wanted us to be separate even for a second ,always said that he like me
very much the only problem that his English is very bad but we manage to communicate through his mobile translation software . he wanted me to visit his mother house in Isaan but I couldn't because I had a flight back to my home and there wasn't enough time . he wants to come and leave with me quit his job at the bar but it is very difficult to obtain a visa for a Thai citizen to my country and I am a little bit confused too I feel that I have strong feelings for him but I think that the big gap between the Thai culture to the western and the long geographic distance between us will not enable to establish a serious relationship . we are in touch since I came back to my home and he have to go back to his work on the bar although he didn't clearly want to . I am really confused and doesn't know what to do . Someone has similar experience ? any thoughts what to do ?

Similar Threads:

• Confused by 60 day tourist VISA
• Curious Newbie says thanks, I'm confused
• Police check 'gender confused' Pattayaland bars
• Wonderful Australian care for refugees from Thai UN camps
• They look the same? im confused why they are rich ones?

[catawampuscat]

A few more facts would be helpful.
How old are you? Do you consider yourself sexually attractive? Weight ? Wealthy or just getting by?
Considered sending him to English school?

[joe552]

No doubt, most of us have met wonderful boys, and some of us have even fallen in love - I know I did on my first trip and enjoyed a few holidays with the guy until he moved on. Don't regret a minute of it. Now, I'm a bit more cynical, especially with guys I meet in bars - it's their job to make us feel special and lots of them are very good at it. But I would be reluctant to even start thinking of a long-term relationship based on only a week or two with someone. My advice, for what it's worth, would be to continue to talk online, and maybe plan another trip soon - but be wary of making too many promises. Enjoy the good memories you have.

[francois]

Yes Boy 69 I had a similar experience with a 20 yo who I met first time in Thailand during a three week trip. Still with him 15 years later. But I was able to visit Thailand several times a year for months at a time so was able to keep up the relationship . As far as bringing him to your home country, forget that idea.

[arsenal]

My suggestion is to pack in your job, sell everything, transfer the money to Thailand and put it in a joint account with Mr Hotboy from the Hotboy Bar and live the dream as you sail into the sunset. What could possibly go wrong?

[BOY69]

My suggestion is to pack in your job, sell everything, transfer the money to Thailand and put it in a joint account with Mr Hotboy from the Hotboy Bar and live the dream as you sail into the sunset. What could possibly go wrong?

No need to be cynical as I wrote the big gap between the Thai culture to the western and the long geographic distance between us will not enable to establish a serious relationship . I am not a wealthy man ,I can't quit my job neither send him allowance on regular basis that will allow him to stop working in the bar further more bring him to my country is not an option at all . He was not a typical "Hotboy" at all ; very honest , modest and worm and the connection between us was intense and genuine I didn't plain that such a thing will happen but it did and I do fill strong affection to him and do miss him very much , I hope that I will forget him and enjoy the good memories as joe552 suggested wisely .

[thaiguest]

After only 1 week it's far too early to be meeting mother in Issarn.

It's too early to be holding hands all time (frowned upon here-gay or straight) and bringing him to your home shouldn't be considered until you arrived at the point whereby straight couples have grandchildren to offer to Mama and Papa in farangland. What the gay equivalent is here I can't say.

I would counsel getting real ie understanding that the misunderstanding is probably on his side in that he regards you and all foreigners as rich and therfore capable of lifting Mama and the entire family out of poverty and he wants it done NOW!

The real factor here could be a genuine affection between you both-it has happened before-so don't risk loosing it.

Next time be blunt about what's sustainable between you and who know? -love conquers all!

But I would be reluctant to even start thinking of a long-term relationship based on only a week or two with someone.

For me that IS a long-term relationship.

[fedssocr]

Sounds like you have a pretty realistic view of the situation which is a good thing. Too many guys "fall in love" at first sight with a Thai bar boy or bar girl. The internet is full of their tales of woe. While there are some times where it works out, they are extraordinarily rare.

The biggest caution would probably be not to promise anything you can't deliver on. Lots of times because we don't want to disappoint the other party we go along with things instead of being totally honest and up-front.

You are right that the language and culture barriers are real. Maybe I am too cynical, but I don't believe many of these relationships last or work out well in the end. Maybe he really is honest, or maybe he's just a very good actor or con man. So I would urge caution. As noted above try keeping the communication going if you can. Most likely it will wane over time as both of you have some distance from now.

[BOY69]

After only 1 week it's far too early to be meeting mother in Issarn.

It's too early to be holding hands all time (frowned upon here-gay or straight) and bringing him to your home shouldn't be considered until you arrived at the point whereby straight couples have grandchildren to offer to Mama and Papa in farangland. What the gay equivalent is here I can't say.

I would counsel getting real ie understanding that the misunderstanding is probably on his side in that he regards you and all foreigners as rich and therfore capable of lifting Mama and the entire family out of poverty and he wants it done NOW!

The real factor here could be a genuine affection between you both-it has happened before-so don't risk loosing it.

Next time be blunt about what's sustainable between you and who know? -love conquers all!

It was a genuine affection. I had before some relationships with Thai boys long time ago but nothing like this one, Maybe because he is so young (19 YO !) in this age they tend to be enthusiastic and needy (maybe "father" substitute syndrome ? ) and I was attracted to his amazing body and his joy of youth... I really don't know what excatly happend this is why I am so confused but I do agree that the misunderstanding is probably on his side in that he regards us all foreigners as rich and therefore capable of taking him out of the bar (which clearly he doesn't like ) and lifting his family out of poverty .