HI you maniacs.
Well, IтАЩm back from another action packed adventure in LOS and eager to jot down my experiences in the open-book writing style I have always enjoyed. Some will groanтАжsome will shutterтАжbut amused youтАЩll all be IтАЩm sure.
Where to start:
Well, I guess IтАЩll start with the most memorable part which involved me getting married to a monk in a massage parlor in Pattaya. I guess I could just leave it at that because that really says it all тАУ but thatтАЩs no fun. I got married to Jay the boy I met during my previous adventure on June 15th in a massage parlor owned and operated by a family friend in a traditional Thai/Buddhist ceremony. Sound insane? тАжof course it does. Did that stop me? тАжof course not.
Jay was raised and schooled in a monastery in Nakhon Phanom since age 9. He completed his schooling and remained working at the monastery after becoming a fully ordained monk until age 26. He took a temporary leave from the monastery after being granted a 90 day sabbatical for the purpose of deciding if he wanted to remain in the monkhood or not which is when I was first introduced to him through a family friend. Jay decided to leave the monastery and traded in his orange robe for a pair of over-sized blue jeans and a plain white t shirt. We bonded from the startтАжfound that we looked at life through the same lensesтАжrealized that we were both aliens тАУ him entering life outside the monastery for the first time and me being from Neptune. It was his idea to marry versus just shacking up together which seemed much more digestible to his family and friends at the monastery and I saw no reason not to oblige. I guess that pretty much sums it up.
Jay doesnтАЩt drink, smoke or use drugs and has no desire to enter a bar. He enjoys traditional Thai Morlam musicтАжwakes up before the roosters and meditates for an hour every morning. He maintains close contact with his family members in Nakhon PhanomтАжenjoys movies (non-violent)тАжthinks more than he speaksтАжhas a great (but subtle) sense of humor. He is very mature (more than me) with a great deal of patience and understanding which is a crucial component of our relationship.
When Jay first suggested that we get married in Pattaya now (in 2013) and do so in a massage parlor versus our original discussions which involved plans to bond sometime in 2014 in a more formal marriage in Nakhon Phanom I thought he was crazy. I asked him to hold that thought for a moment while I thumbed through a diary I maintain entitled тАЬLifeтАЩs CalamitiesтАЭ. Reaching the last page in the diary and not seeing any entries related to marrying a monk in a massage parlor in Thailand before - I told him it was a go.
Jay went to work as the facilitator for the wedding and handled everything from the clearing and decoration of the massage parlor which his friend owns to arranging for the monks who performed the blessing at the ceremony. He handled all the arrangements regarding the logistics, music, food, invitations, chair and table rentals and arranged to have two guys come from Nakhon Phanom who specialized in making wedding decorations all by hand which was an amazing process in-and-by-itself. I was totally impressed with JayтАЩs abilities to coordinate this entire event without a hitch and within our budget - all with a sense of calm and confidence.
There were approximately 120 guests which included 25 of JayтАЩs direct family members who traveled from Nakhon Phanom, 9 monks from Wat Chai who performed the blessing portion of the ceremony, an Isaan band, a morlam dancing troupe and finally the b-boys who performed their dance routine near the end of the party. The soi in front of the massage parlor was closed off to traffic тАУ a band stage constructed at one end of the soi тАУ about 25 tables set up on the soi тАУ food cooked and served along the front row of shops on the soi тАУ and the front and rear entrances of the soi were decorated with flowers and special lighting. The massage parlor was transformed into a wat complete with silk wall coverings, flowers and handmade decorations with all the golden pedestals and vases needed to host the 9 monks who would provide their blessings at the ceremony. The ceremony started at 7:00 AM with the blessings from the monks which lasted about 2 hours followed by the marriage and string tying portion of the ceremony which lasted another 2 hours where only the immediate family attended. The party started at 7:00 PM and went on until 4:30 AM. Everyone seemed to have a great time. Jay and I were completely exhausted.
JayтАЩs father who passed away in 2012 was Dutch and his mother is Thai. His family is financially secure and are big sponsors (financially) of the monastery where Jay was raised and schooled. The family is obviously very connected to Buddhism, although extremely down-to-earth and modern in their thinking and lifestyles. One of JayтАЩs older brothers is a lawyer with an office in BKK and his other brother is a degreed CPA and works for a large firm in NP. His mother speaks fluent Dutch and English and carries herself with a sense of grace. I enjoyed her company immensely during my 2 trips to NP last year. She presented Jay with a new car (Honda Freed) as a wedding gift just to give you an idea of the stability of the family.
With the exception of not frequenting the bar scene as muchтАжhaving to unplug my guitar from the amplifier when heтАЩs meditatingтАжand avoiding movies on the TV which depict guys getting their faces ripped off, things seem to be going pretty well. I love being with him even with the huge language barrier and look forward to the challenge of blending our lifestyles even more as time moves on.
When I was first introduced to Jay he had a bald head and shaved eyebrowsтАжhe was a doll even then. His hair has now grown out but his state of calm and peaceful mannerisms never left him. He is enrolled in a full-time language school (MondayтАЩs through FridayтАЩs) as I conduct my work back here in the U.S. I plan to enroll in a similar course next October when I return only on a part-time basis to allow us time to travel to sights unseen which we both desire.
The last book I wrote ended in tragedy. What you just read is chapter one of a new book IтАЩve decided to writeтАжas life and all its adventures move forward тАУ never backwards.
Mai pen rai
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Originally Posted by thaiguest
