Suggestions for ChristianPfc

[adman5000]

Christian, I want to make some recommendations which may assist you in your exploits in attracting the right kind of acquaintances. I think openly showing you are a kind person may attract more interest and curiosity as will dressing up a bit especially in regards to footwear. You also need to go to places other than SOI TWILIGHT, SCREWBOYS, and SARANOM PARK.

SHOW A GOOD HEART

Smile: do you smile at a Thai guy you have an interest in?
Sharing: Do you carry food which you might share with them? The Thai like to eat and offering to share shows a good heart to them. In my experience, a good heart is highly regarded and will attract them quickly. Sharing food is also a very social interaction for them. When in doubt, do as the Thai do.
Curiosity: Have something with new technology to attract their interest. They are curious and will want to know what something is that they have not seen before and may ask questions more easily. It is a great way to get them talking.

Since you are younger than many posters on this board, you are not the usual type of Farang they interact with, so they may be much more shy in interacting with you.

GOOD LUCK.

CLEANLINESS:

Footwear: Are you impeccably clean and neat? IF you are walking around in flip-flops with dirty feet, I can promise you that this is a quick turnoff for many young Thai. You are a Farang, so they will expect more from you in terms of social status, so it is important to be clean, neat, and well bathed and dressed. Do you have any fragrance on? Is your hair neat and styled? (if not go to a gay shop and have it done, make small talk)

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION:

Strolling through Soi Twilight or into Screwboy may enable you to see some attractive or handsome guys, but may not connect you with what you are looking for if it is a 500 baht shag. Have you visited any of the universities or university hangouts? Have you visited any of the regular massage places? Have you gone to work out at Lumpini Park or at someplace such as California Fitness? How about a visit to the BKK Zoo? I think these would be some interesting outings for you and which all of us would like to hear about.

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[timmberty]

adman i take it this isnt meant to be a p.m. posted in the wrong place ...
christian is younger than the normal farang the thai's would hang out with ? do you mean bar boys etc ?
i wouldnt imagine normal/non bar boys hang out with people upto 3 times their own age, so i'd imagine hes far closer to the sort of person a normal thai would hang out with.

how do you share food with a complete stranger ? im not taking the piss here, im intrested to know how you would do it? the thought of handing over a half eaten sandwich seems unlikely. most thais ive seen eating tend to do so in a group, it cant be very easy to push in and start eating their food.
im sure smiling help to make friends, but again we are back to believing every thai person is there for having sex with.
as for being clean and tidy ... well im sure thats not just a thai thing, and to assume christian is a stinker isnt very nice.
i take it you have never meet christian .. going to a barbers to have his hair styled ....
lumpini park is where a lot of the gogo boys work out so boyfriend material isnt likely to be found there ... as for the zoo, hes already met a monkey and a cheeter.

[adman5000]

It was not meant to be a PM, but rather for other's comments. I tried to assume very little about Christian, but has said he likes to wear flip-flops all the time. Walking around BKK like that you can easily get your feet filthy.
As far as food, it can be offering to buy cart food for you AND someone else or sharing a packaged 7-11 type thing. very simple.
My comment was regarding age of Farangs they see or interact with, this is meant to be more general than "hang out with."
Smiling is one of the easiest ways to communicate in Thailand. It doesn't mean a leer, just an innocent smile. I use it all the time in negotiating prices in Thailand. It also send a message that I am ok/safe to approach. The Thai are very shy and look for such cues IMO.
No I have never met Christian. I am just wondering, given how long he has been there, does he keep his hair neat or does he walk around in the hot sun with longer hair. I am just saying neat hair is important to Thai guys. I get a haircut frequently in Thailand and it is noticed and commented upon. There are also a lot of gay salons and it can make for some friendly banter to loosen Christian up a bit. :alc:

I merely tried to make some suggestions based upon my observations of what can trigger an interaction. Also, wanted to give others a chance to chime in. Thank you for doing so.

[scottish-guy]

.... i'd imagine (Christian's) far closer to the sort of person a normal thai would hang out with....

I'm not sure which if any of the dramatis personae in Christian's bizarre adventures would qualify as a "normal thai"

[christianpfc]

Yes, I smile at Thais.

I once shared cookies (bought on the way home from work) with the basketball boys, that was very well received. Unfortunately, I could not repeat that, but when I am in my area I sometimes take cookies with me with the intent of sharing. As for trips further away, I can't see how food sharing would be possible.

Time between haircuts is 1 to 2 months (in Europe, max was 3 months, and at the end I shaved my hair myself every 4 months to save time and money), just cut, no styling.

Before I go out, I shave, shower, change my underwear (in fact all clothes) and comb my hair (usually in combination with washing). When I am on a daytrip, after a few hours walking, the situation is not that pretty. No fragrance.

I will by a pair of sandals soon and drop the flip-flops.

Universities is a good point.

During week, I am restricted to night time activities (gay saunas and bars), I come home from work between 6 and 7pm, then have dinner, shower, change, 1 hour travel time to central Bangkok or elsewhere, so I can be there at 8pm earliest, rather 9pm.

Running in Lumpini or Chatuchak Park is a good idea, but I need a place to shower and change into fresh clothes afterwards.

The picture you get from my postings is a bit distorted, as I only share the most outrageous and incredible events.

[timmberty]

adman5000 thanks for the food stall advice ..what a good idea ... i shall try that one ...

[Beachlover]

I think openly showing you are a kind person may attract more interest and curiosity as will dressing up a bit especially in regards to footwear. You also need to go to places other than SOI TWILIGHT, SCREWBOYS, and SARANOM PARK.

Most of Adman's comments are sensible.

I don't know where to start with Christian LOL.

I will just say three things, which I had to learn from my own experience...

1. Put yourself in other people's shoes (empathy): First think about what kind of guy you want to attract - looks, character, posture, habits, values, likes/dislikes, socio-economic status, that sort of thing. Put yourself in their shoes, try to think what they would likely be looking for in a partner and try to BE that person.

If you do this, you'll eventually attract him. If you don't do this, when you do come across that perfect guy and if he has half a brain, you'll have trouble getting him interested.

For example, someone looking for a serious long-term relationship commitment will want someone they can trust and who isn't ogling at other guys every second moment. Someone who wants an open relationship will be put off by guys who act jealous and try to "control" them... that sort of thing. Apply it to yourself.

2. Socio-economic status is more important than you think: I know this isn't very tasteful by Western values but you're in Asia now and need to adapt. Back home, socio-economic status isn't that important because there's not that much difference between the wealthy and the average income earners. But in Asia and most developing countries, the difference between a poorly raised country boy with no education and a middle-class educated guy raised in a good family is vast - in terms of thinking, habits, likes, intelligence, courtesy and many other things.

Most of the annoying shit that frustrates you just comes down to socio-economic status - pissing on your floor, turning up an hour late, being indecisive in committing to appointments, not showering (Jesus Christ), always ignoring while fiddling around on his smartphone... that sort of thing. Again, apply point one to this and think about what guys of better socio-economic status are looking for in a partner (and no, it's not a guy who's rich).

3. Lastly, pick when to draw the line: If you're after one night stands and flings then great, do that. But when you've had enough and want a serious relationship, don't expect that to happen unless your habits change... If you really want to keep whoring, by all means, go nuts and have fun but don't try to do both at the same time.

It took me a year or two to figure out this stuff when I decided to start looking for a guy to settle down with so nobody's perfect...

[francois]

My suggestion is for Beachlover to hook up with Christian and show him the ropes, be his guide. Maybe even take Christian to one of the hi-so restaurants instead of his usual street food stalls and introduce him to the beautiful people of Bangkok? Two young, hot dudes as themselves should get along well and maybe Christian might let Beachy slip into a pair of those sexy undies for some short time fun?

[joe552]

what an excellent suggestion, francois - those are pictures I'd love see :sign5:

[adman5000]

BL, I think your suggestions are useful for all of us to think about with increased mindfulness. Empathy is one of my favorites. :glasses7: