Your opinions, please........

[catawampuscat]

I was just thinking of a possibly useful aid for farangs who meet Thais and want to see them more than once.. First, the common problems
would include (and some help here would be great),
1- Calling on the telephone many many times a day and keep calling even if calls are ignored..
2- Calling at hours when one is surely sleeping...
3- Showing up uninvited and again at any hour, even 5 or 6 AM, without apology..
4- Telling you that they love you (or some variation) the first time you are together and want to be your bf..
5- Telling you they cannot pay the rent, the mobile is in the shop, sickness in the family, and expecting it to be your problem..
6- Pestering you for small change or 20B. notes every time you see them..Always for food...
7- Being late or not showing up at all and not calling...
8- Eating right before you want to go with them for dinner
9- Eating right after you buy a relatively expensive dinner they don't like
10- Commenting when you pass a goldshop or mobile phone store and just wanting to take a look..

I am sure the list could go on a while but the idea is to have a list of things you don't like or don't want the boy to do or say..
It would be in Thai and English and perhaps one could check off the items or cross out the ones that apply or don't apply.. At least this
way the boys would understand from the start that you are or are not an ATM, you are or are not going to be a sugar daddy, you are or are not
happy with calls and visits at any hour and that you are or are not looking for a boyfriend etc...
Perhaps, SPICE mag could do this and when one meets someone of interest, we could get thru the language and cultural barriers and
avoid some of the irritating aspects of paradise..
Of course, some effort should be made to make this polite or humourous as saving face is important and being rude is so boring.... :cat:

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[Surfcrest]

Here is something to go on.....

I met a boy in Thailand who was always at me for cash.
Usually / precisely as you describe.

After I met boyspecial Pattaya 2006 everything changed.

He was able to see through each and every one of them and usually dealt with each and every one personally. I recall one he went up to and said "why do you ask for money before you even say, "sawatdee khrap / sabai dee ruh khrap".
Obviously he could see that their sole motivation was cash and only cash.

He taught me and the boys a lesson on proper etiquete.
The boys respected him as he was a well known senior boy.
Perhaps he realized that the more money I shelled out, the less came to him, but for whatever the motivation we both learned immensley from each other.

The same applies as travelling companions.
The money a Thai boy can save you by knowing how things work far exceeds the cost of supporting the boy, unless he has his hooks deep into you for motorcycles and realestate.

They key is to see your time in Thailand is temporary (unless you live there) and ensure that both parties know the situation and make the most of it.
By saying that, I mean living each day as though it were the last.
Because eventually it will be, so rather than counting down the time there is a much better option.

Chok Dee

Surfcrest

... Catwampuscat, I think most of the things on your list have happened to me in my short time here in Thailand. The most common reason I end up finishing with a boy or stop seeing a thai guy (even as friends) is due to an amalgamation of the above listed reasons, but mainly the financial reasons.

On my return to Thailand this year, I intentionally bumped into a thai guy I had befriended last year. I had in my first weeks of knowing him, bought him a mobile phone. After the first 30 seconds reuniting and sharing greetings he said 'tomorrow we go buy me new mobile, I like one with video and mp3 player' ... I didn't see him much after that.

It's not just friends or boyfriends either. I was in a gogo bar the other day and the mamasan started saying to me that he had no money for his rent. I past no comment but he kept on about it and then asked me for the money. I declined saying sorry but received more requests until finally I said it was not my problem and I was sorry. He then took the huff and said I didn't care ... to be honest I truly didn't but that really got up my nose.

It's also very hard to tell when a boy is not telling the truth. From a dispassionate stance I am highly doubtful of one boy I know who (after I told him I may be around for another two months before going home) told me that in two months time he goes to hospital for an operation on his brain to save his life. He wants my email address and I am guessing that there will be a request for funds for the operation before I go or shortly thereafter. Thing is, I am a sucker for this kind of thing and I do like the boy as he is pleasant company.

On the other hand there are good guys out there. Last year on my first trip, I bought one Thai friend a gold bracelet which he loved but I was surprised to find the next day that he turned up at my hotel with a stunning gold bracelet for me. The num friend I am with right now and for the past few weeks is refreshing. He is happy to spend time with me and the tips I give him are always accepted gracefully with no requests for any additional funds. After seeing him a few times he bought his own mobile (never asking me to purchase this for him) and has never once asked for gold, money for parents or even a buffalo He is excitable and happy and loves when I suggest (and it is I who suggests) going to Karaoke or Champ Isaan or when I invite a friend of his to tag along with us. This ideal time will probably not last and he may be encouraged by others to go down the route of other Thai boys I have met, but for now it is a pleasure to not feel hassled or played.

[Surfcrest]

... On the other hand there are good guys out there. Last year on my first trip, I bought one Thai friend a gold bracelet which he loved but I was surprised to find the next day that he turned up at my hotel with a stunning gold bracelet for me. The num friend I am with right now and for the past few weeks is refreshing. He is happy to spend time with me and the tips I give him are always accepted gracefully with no requests for any additional funds. After seeing him a few times he bought his own mobile (never asking me to purchase this for him) and has never once asked for gold, money for parents or even a buffalo He is excitable and happy and loves when I suggest (and it is I who suggests) going to Karaoke or Champ Isaan or when I invite a friend of his to tag along with us. This ideal time will probably not last and he may be encouraged by others to go down the route of other Thai boys I have met, but for now it is a pleasure to not feel hassled or played.

Fatman41

You have a good one there.
Hang on to him, hey are indeed rare and precious.
I had one once many years ago, whom I think about constantly, like a fisherman
thinks about the great fish that got away.
You deserve someone like this.
You are a good man!

Chok Dee

Surfcrest

Regrettably people don't welcome these sorts of warnings. How many members of this Forum witter on about the wonderful, gentle Thais with their strong Buddhist lifestyle and how they love the fact that the Thai boys never stop smiling? Too many would be my answer. The fact is that once you take on a Thai boy you run the chance of being with a financial leech. Other Thais may see you as someone who will dispense patronage. Like the man who asked every passing woman for a fuck, knowing that on the balance of probabilities he'd get enough acceptances to balance out the rejections to make it worthwhile, there are Thais who will ask any farang within range for help

On the other hand there are some lovely Thai boys and I know a great many who ask nothing more than the standard tip at the end of a rumpy-pumpy session

It's also very hard to tell when a boy is not telling the truth. From a dispassionate stance I am highly doubtful of one boy I know who (after I told him I may be around for another two months before going home) told me that in two months time he goes to hospital for an operation on his brain to save his life.

One charming chai tried on the same with me.
I wonder if he told you he'd been hit in the head by a school-bus sign and, when he awoke in hospital, was told his father had died while he was in a coma--So now he is paying brothers way thru college?
Anyway; I told him I would take care of his operation: "Tomorrow I will take you to Pattaya hospital. They will shave your head, remove the top of your skull, cut out the tumor & sew the skull back on. Your hair might not grow back but we can find a wig--To hide the scar."
He thought about that a while and said, "Never mind...maybe you...buy me...clock-radio instead?"
I thought the story was worth a radio.

[mikelele-old]

... "why do you ask for money before you even say, "sawatdee khrap / sabai dee ruh khrap".
Obviously he could see that their sole motivation was cash and only cash.

That in-your-face gob-smacker is so Asian actually. It speaks to the value of 'face' and honor. But alas only Asians can say something as potent as that to another Asian or all hell would surely break loose!! ha ha ha :blackeye:

[catawampuscat]

I have to laugh at myself as last nite's off was a pisser... I ended up offing a boy, whom I vaguely remembered offing before from a
Boyztown bar..I couldn't recall the details of our first encounter and decided a second off would refresh my memory and he was hot..

First, he wanted to hire motorbke taxi for the short walk home and I told him no way Jose, we walk.. As we walked, he talked about how he
was using a friend's mobile phone and something about me buying him a mobile.. I found this funny and absurd and thought he was
kidding me.. We had a fair encounter and I corrected his oral technique as there was too much contact with his teeth and he didn't
douse properly so while pleasureable, that aspect of the encounter was cut short for a clean up..
I found him funny (maybe he is a "funny boy") and thought it remotely possible that I might off him again until he began insisting on
me buying him a mobile..He was non-threatening but his persistence became annoying and he wanted an extra 500B. over
my tip to cover what he was short to buy a mobile..I told him I couldn't do that and that I was paying him very well for a short time. He was
pleased with the amount but said he still needed more for his mobile..Since he was pleasant , I didn't get angry or throw him out but I did tire on
his tenth attempt to wrest extra money out of me.. He couldn't remember my name and I couldn't remember his, so this was not someone
I had a relationship of any sort with..

Unfortunately, his demands for more money for a mobile left me with a bad taste and off course, I will not engage his services again..I can
only imagine his method must have worked for him with other farangs, if only to get rid of him, but I held my ground.. I am very friendly with the
mamsan in his bar (deliberately not mentioning name of bar), and if he becomes a pest, I will advise the mamasan of the situation..I always tip this
mamasan well, as he knows what I like and I am a frequent customer and usually off someone after asking the mamasan about him..
I could have used my list but don't think it would have been effective with this character.... :cat:

Whores will be whores.

Your comments are much appreciated as always Surfcrest.

As a follow up to "It's also very hard to tell when a boy is not telling the truth. From a dispassionate stance I am highly doubtful of one boy I know who (after I told him I may be around for another two months before going home) told me that in two months time he goes to hospital for an operation on his brain to save his life."

Well, I made the fatal flaw (another of those lessons to be learnt) of letting the guy in question know when and where I was moving within Pattaya. On the day of my move, today, and less than 30 minutes after I stripped naked to do my unpacking (a private thing), I got a knock at my door. Turns out, it wasn't the guy in question but a friend of his who I had met once and who'd been asked to pop along and ask for money for the operation. I truly don't have the money and spent 20 minutes explaining this. Then, seeing he was getting nowhere, he moved tack and started asking for money for himself as he was being evicted on the very same day that I arrived at my new place! A further 20 minutes later he left with a ciggy and a pack of throat lozenges for his cough.

I think it is hard for some of us to 'be hard' and to knock back requests for money from guys who have comparitively so little but as my money depletes, it is becoming slighlty easier.