Sorry? You call that "sorry"?
I have next door a lovely dog who craves his cheese hit in the morning. If I've run out of cheese he is quite adept at making me feel "sorry". And I tell him that.
But you? It is to laugh. For me: it is to head-shake.
But do carry on.
PS: the "smug" thing is getting pretty old. Could you please look in that dictionary for a more original synonym.