Lonely & Depressed in Thailand?

[Dodger]

It’s well-documented that “loneliness” can cause a number of health-related issues for seniors, including increased risk mortality, depression, cognitive decline, dementia care, high blood pressure, alcoholism and drug use, altered brain function, Alzheimer's disease progression, antisocial behavior, cardiovascular disease and stroke, decreased memory and learning, increased stress levels, depression and suicide. That’s some pretty serious stuff, especially for us expats.

Since the Pandemic hatched 15 months ago, I’ve watched several expat friends slip into various states of depression from a sense of loneliness, and I feel helpless to do anything to help them. Jai and I have to keep ourselves in check to make sure we’re not falling down the same spiral, and when we find ourselves becoming agitated, overly anxious, or getting angry over trivial things, we try to refocus, regain our footing, and take some kind of positive action.

The friends I’m referring to, are normally very active and positive-thinking people, although, the longer this Pandemic keeps dragging on, the more depressed they seem to be getting. They often talk about the strains of having their social lives disrupted, and the sense of loneliness they’re challenged with now. What I’ve been seeing a lot of lately are things like; signs of fatigue, loss of energy, forgetfulness, lack of motivation/energy, and bouts of anger. Other signs I’ve witnessed include rapid weight gain or loss, increased alcohol consumption, or a sense of panic, where a person effected by this type of depression wants to just run away, or jump ship.

There’s no doubt that loneliness caused by the Pandemic is contributing in an increase in depression in the expat community, but what can people do about it?

Any constructive thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.

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[cdnmatt]

Start a Discord server.

Not meant as a joke, and actual serious recommendation. People can wake up in the morning, login Discord via video chat and enjoy their morning coffee with whoever else is in the group over a bullshit. Maybe get together for some travia or other games, or whatever.

Granted, it's over group video / text, so not as great as in person, but still no reason you can't hang out over evening beers with a group on Discord.

[StevieWonders]

Start a Discord server.

Not meant as a joke, and actual serious recommendation. People can wake up in the morning, login Discord via video chat and enjoy their morning coffee with whoever else is in the group over a bullshit. Maybe get together for some travia or other games, or whatever.

Granted, it's over group video / text, so not as great as in person, but still no reason you can't hang out over evening beers with a group on Discord.

But don’t bother with it as a porn source - https://www.theverge.com/tech/2021/4...oosened-opt-in

[Armando]

It’s well-documented that “loneliness” can cause a number of health-related issues for seniors, including increased risk mortality, depression, cognitive decline, dementia care, high blood pressure, alcoholism and drug use, altered brain function, Alzheimer's disease progression, antisocial behavior, cardiovascular disease and stroke, decreased memory and learning, increased stress levels, depression and suicide. That’s some pretty serious stuff, especially for us expats..

I know that the pandemic has caused loneliness issues in many countries and certainly not exclusively confined to seniors. Frankly, when it comes to seniors living in Thailand who are normally in decent heath, I fail to understand why. There seems to be a view amongst too many retirees that their constructive hobbies in retirement would be merely a constant rotation of boys, booze and beach. A few friends perhaps,and a lot of snoozing - but not much else.

Perhaps I am just lucky. I have very good friends close by. Apart from the lockdown in April last year, we have seen each other regularly in our condos and eating both in and out. I swim almost daily, I am an avid reader, I started once again writing long letters/emails to friends as an alternative to always phoning, I have a couple of hobbies plus I have a boyfriend. We have not always been able to live together as he knows I am in a high risk group as a result of my age.

Like many, I can sometimes be a couch potato and just lie back with a drink watching Netflix or occasionally the now poor offerings on True Visions. But the thought that this would become a daily routine appals me. No doubt that would certainly depress me.

Much surely comes down partly to retirement planning allied to an acceptance that life will not always be as ordered as most might wish. We all have to adapt to changing circumstances. And we all create our own reality.

[arsenal]

For the older generation it's impossible to escape the feeling that they're being robbed of the time they have left. A friend's brother is a UK policeman and he has said that as soon as it's over he's quitting the force, he's totally shot, having dealt with so many suicides.

[cdnmatt]

For the older generation it's impossible to escape the feeling that they're being robbed of the time they have left. A friend's brother is a UK policeman and he has said that as soon as it's over he's quitting the force, he's totally shot, having dealt with so many suicides.

Really? If anything, I feel bad for kids out there. A year is a lone time when you're young. If you're 10, then about say 20% of your life since your long-term memory became a thing has been inside a global pandemic.

[Manforallseasons]

Undoubtedly, the current situation is depressing, but I don see where loneliness comes into play..I’ve always chose to live alone never even thought of living with anyone let alone a Thai boy 30-40 years my junior, what the fuck would we have in common? I cherish my personal space and time something very alien to most Thais who seldom if ever even eat alone.

[Nirish guy]

What I’ve been seeing a lot of lately are things like; signs of fatigue, loss of energy, forgetfulness, lack of motivation/energy, and bouts of anger. rapid weight gain, increased alcohol consumption, or a sense of panic, wants to just run away, or jump ship.

EXCUSE ME but would you PLEASE stop talking about me and my life on the board !!!!!!! Oh,,,,wait, what......you didn't mean ME personally there and more just "people" in general......oh, right, ok, forget I mentioned it, as your above bares no resemblance at all then to my life at all then of late ......just lets pretend eh !! lol

[Dodger]

Undoubtedly, the current situation is depressing, but I don see where loneliness comes into play..

Understanding that many gay expats (not all) relied heavily on the boy bars and other gay venues for socializing and companionship before the pandemic hit - it's not surprising that loneliness could come into play. Not being able to travel freely (domestic or international) - social-distancing - friends disappearing from the scene - and the sense of isolation in general that this pandemic has caused are just a few more reasons.

If you're not effected by this - that's great, but others aren't as fortunate.

Here's an interesting article on the topic:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7306546/

[Ninodf1]

I don’t know the current situation of most of your friends but I assume they are single/live alone and would like company.

Personally I would find a live-in partner (30 years age difference can work). To do this I would keep in some sort of good health fitness and control my weight. Eat well. Exercise most days even if just to go out for a walk. I can use a pedal machine indoors.

If I could afford it and my wardrobe needed updating, go into town to a decent shopping mall, buy some nice clothes, perfume, etc, look good to feel good. I’d make it a day out sit and have a coffee too and go to a big city if the shopping is better.

I would have a better chance of meeting Mr Right. He will be proud to show me off (I hope) to his friends/family. I don’t have to look like Mr Clooney but just have a good heart.