Will he show up?

[frequent]

Here in Scotland ... we have little memory of any World Cup since 1998 frankly ...

Is that because your national dish - deep fried Mars Bars - has affected your collective memory?

Further, I hope his bra straps don't chafe excessively in the hot weather and I advise him to make sure the gusset of his panties is liberally dusted with talcum powder to avoid a nasty case of thrush

On a serious note I thoroughly recommend tea tree powder in the knickers to avoid thrush. I'm a martyr to it, I'm afraid. Works equally well in socks as a preventative or even a cure for athletes foot (for those who, like arsenal, wear socks with their sandals)