Ridiculously tiny Vietnamese guy

[extronaut]

Thanks for offering your insights, nordicguy.

You might be interested to know that I've resumed chatting with him a bit on Facebook, thanks in part to your input.

More on his 'enigma', as you put it.

He's always liked to tell me how tough his circumstances are. And I believe him! I know he works from 6am to about 5pm, while paying off loans. I've seen his family, from a distance, and they indeed look very poor, living on the edge, just as he constantly reminds me.

He goes on about this regularly, and has done as long as I've known him. And every time he does, I say something like:

"So do you want some money?"

And his response is always: "NO!" And then things like "I pay myself!"

This routine gets me every time, because it always feels exactly like he's trying hit me up for some động. Or maybe he just wants some sympathy? Or maybe he does want money, but needs me to offer it to him in a different way? Or maybe he thinks I'm going to marry him and bring him back to Australia? Who knows.

[nordicguy]

Or maybe he just wants some sympathy? Or maybe he does want money, but needs me to offer it to him in a different way? Or maybe he thinks I'm going to marry him and bring him back to Australia? Who knows.

That's really interesting to hear that you are in touch with him again now. I try to imagine how he looks. There must be something about him, since he's still on your mind :-)

I've been dating mainly Asian guys with a poor background (they make of the vast majority on all Asian guys you meet on the net and in bars and anywhere else in SE Asia) and I have usually been able to communicate with them in a fairly honest way about money. I acknowledge that they need money, and since I have - relatively speaking - loads of money compared to them, I would be wrong not to share some of my "wealth" with thim (again in relative terms, I'm not an excentric billionaire travelling around....) Thai boys don't seem to have any problem asking for money upfront, during and afterwards. Pinoys are much more discreet in their money requests and try to avoid direct requests at all means. I believe the same goes for most other SE Asian countries, also Vietnam. So you're probably right that you should never just offer money.

If he was expecting a marriage proposal, wouldn't you be able to feel that more directly? Like romantic hints?