I definitely think the life that Matt has written about here is worth a two part mini series. I'm not sure what genre it should be.
A Carry On style comedy with lines like 'Ooohhh; those lychees look juicy.' ...cue camera zooming on naked Matt with his privates hidden by fruit.
Or.
A thriller with a slow burn towards Matt's capture and incarceration. Unbearable tension as a police motorbike glides slowly past Matt looking at him suspiciously.