Tales from the Dragon

[arsenal]

Some tips from your man in the know.

You want a haircut. The salon looks lovely and is populated by young rather attractive guys and gals. In you go. Within seconds you are surrounded by six or seven, all of them shouting and laughing and giggling and you try to pretend this is OK but it doesn't stop and at some point you feel really quite abused and wish to be anywhere else and then when it gets too much you just leave and their behaviour stays with you all day and you feel you've experienced a new form of assault. And you have.
So. Trundle around until you find a small barber with one oldish guy, preferably asleep and absolutely no one else there. Go in. He will give you a haircut with no nonsense. Trust me.

You have a toothache. You go into the dentist and you can use your wechat to communicate. You have a choice of two dentists. One is a big bloke with huge eyebrows who looks a bit like Leonard Brezhnev and has fat sausage fingers. The other is a pretty youngish woman with a ponytail. For the love of God choose Leonard. He will be deft and calm and do a good job on your teeth. The woman will be harsh and uncaring and in dental terms really quite brutal. Trust me.

You wish to deposit a large amount of money in your account. In you go, take your ticket and when your turn comes sit down in front of the cashier. Within a minute she'll xall for help and then there's two discussing your account. Then another comes to 'help' and then another and another. There are now five tellers talking about your account and what not. Eventually you get the deposit paid in and you leave the bank but your head is all over the place and you're struggling to comprehend what just happened. Use the ATM, even at midnight depositing large amounts is no risk although in the depth of winter there might be a street cleaner in there but he's there to keep warm, not to Rob you. Trust me.