Retiring in thailand

[Dodger]

No

I just officially retired and wouldn't have a chance in hell of having a young naked brown boy laying next to me in bed if I had chosen to retire back in the U.S., thus the reason (and only reason) I retired in Thailand.

I can't find a can opener that works more than 2 times before one of the blades falls off and I need a hammer and screw driver to open a can of beans.
Getting a salt shaker that actually works without shaking uneatable raw rice on my food is always a thrill.
Driving here requires suicidal instincts - I do the sign of the cross every time I park my motorbike.
The air pollution is so bad that I've discarded any inclinations to quit smoking.
Every time a boy asks me "where you from - how long you here" I try to remember what it was like fucking his father.
Realizing that not understanding a word of what they are saying is actually a blessing.
Thai food sucks (sorry, not in that camp) and having those hot chilies constantly burning the shit out of my eyes is such a delight.

Yes, I Love Thailand...but for one reason, and one reason only!