I arrived last Saturday from Vatican City on the Air Israel flight, First Class.Just before disembarking had a lovely meal on the plane of pork chops. Very Tasty. The immigration at BKK airport was very very polite and the passport officer gave me a beaming smile, and whispered to me as I went thru : 'Hey don't I know you from Gay Sombrero?". No money changed hands. The helicoptor was waiting for me and in thirty short minutes we landed on the roof of my guest house in pattaya and as the owner knew me I was rewarded with the penthouse room, and i was treated as a VIP as i got the only room with a fan. Wow i am so famous.i love the sounds and smells of Sunee Plaza. The whiff of white powder that pervades the whole area. Then suddenly whilst I was un packing my tent a shout came from the street. Was it my name?? How could this be?? It was at least 5 years since my picture was on 'Most Wanted". It was a blond stunner in the street who did not stop screaming until his motor bike was removed from his foot. Butt I am so famous. Wow.By this time I am so hungry and found a wonderful french restaurant right next to the guest house. Although it was only 7 in the morning the place was packed but as I am well known to the owner even if it is my first time in Pattaya and he showed me the 200 page wine list. But i decided on beans on toast with mushy peas as it was only 29 baht.After eating i walked the 5 minutes to Jontium Beach. The sea was blue and clean and i was amazed by the friendly white skinned green eyed boys , all who who promised me they were not money boys. And of course they all knew me.
Later back in my room i found the room service menu too expensive, as i need to take care with my budget as I have a booking for Chiang Mai by private jet coming soon. I then enjoyed sunee plaza So I went back to the french restaurant as the owner had kept the remains of my beans on toast. Again no money changed hands.
Sunee Plaza: so nice and clean So many wonderful boys and bars! My favourite is "No Entry" as the mama san, a manly type, explained that of their 89 dancers only one is not a virgin and he was off tonight. And the MS refused any tip from me, instead we consumed 5 bottles of whisky on the house and the next thing I remembered waking up at the guest house with Blondie next to me and he said it had been his night off from "No Entry" bar..he left soon after and I could not find my credit cards but hey they will turn up later.
At night i was back at jontium and everyone loves me except they would not let me see the show for free, so I walked to Boy's Town. It is low class compared to Sunee and anyway some people did not recognize me.Back to Sunee and blondie waiting for me and he got out of his Benz and wished me well for my trip.
I love Pattaya.Thats all i am going to tell you about for now.It is time for my medication so will stop writing this after which i can walk around in the court yard in solitary before the men in white coats being me back to my cell.Everyone loves and knows me.
I hate you all!
End of Part 1.