Originally Posted by
The Colonel
A thoughtful response (or a Conspiracy Theory?)
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Michael asked
Quote:
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Why is The Colonel constantly accused of multiple identities?
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and admitted having been away for some time. Let me essay an answer
The person writing as The Colonel stands accused of also being Bate and Trapnel (and possibly other, unnamed posters). Why is it so? There are a number of possible answers:
1 ItтАЩs true
2 Posting envy
3 Lack of imagination
4 Vast world-wide conspiracy where The Colonel, Bate and Trapnel (at least) are trademarks of one or more deranged and demented individuals
I incline to (4) for the following reasons
1 BateTM has recently stated that he and The Colonel TM are cousins
2 Note that the first (тАЬTтАЭ) and the last three (тАЬnelтАЭ) characters of TrapnelTMтАЩs moniker are identical to the first (тАЬTтАЭ) and the last three (тАЬnelтАЭ) characters of The ColonelTMтАЩs moniker
3 The ColonelTM fiendishly omits the period (тАЬ.тАЭ) symbol at the end of his paragraphs, thus hoping to divert the Style Police away from the fact that he, BateTM and TrapnelTM are one and the same. In doing so however he has inadvertently let slip that another poster who also omits the period (тАЬ.тАЭ) symbol at the end of his paragraphs is another of his creations тАУ Farang Boss TM
4 The ColonelTM himself has admitted in several posts that he is not a real person but the creation of a group of out-of-work script writers scattered around the world
5 TrapnelTM has previously asserted that he has met The ColonelTM face-to-face (something no other poster has claimed)
And then thereтАЩs the following scary sequence of events which proves beyond reasonable doubt that thereтАЩs more than one person in this vast conspiracy
Friday 3 June: The ColonelTM posts a new topic, a restaurant review of a place where he has supposedly lunched that very day in Bangkok. Moderator enquiries could probably determine whether a Thai-based IP address was used
Saturday 4 June: BateTM posts a response describing a breakfast he has just (supposedly) enjoyed in London and quotes with page number from the print edition of that dayтАЩs morning paper. General enquiries could prove conclusively whether that reference is true or a desperate bluff, but the verifier who then posts the answer runs the extreme danger of being accused of being yet another of the groupтАЩs Multiple Posters. Moderator enquiries could probably determine whether a UK-based IP address was used
Sunday 5 June: BateTM continues to post allegedly from London, while The ColonelTM is strangely silent
Monday 6 June: BateTM continues to post allegedly from London while (oh my god) The ColonelTM recommences posting from (he asserts) California and even (dastardly detail this) gives the hotel at which he is staying. Moderator enquiries could probably determine whether a US-based IP address was used. In the meantime BateTM announces he is returning to his teaching post in China and so will be <ho ho> not posting for a few weeks
Or you could believe that Hedda (could this be the mysterious person тАЬin trademark blueтАЭ mentioned in The ColonelTMтАЩs restaurant review тАУ weтАЩve already had a post from The ColonelTM remarking on the close identity of Hedda and Margaret Thatcher and therefore actually Hedda TM тАУ yet another member of the world-wide conspiracy) has got it right all along
So there you have it тАУ conclusive proof of a totally deranged group of individuals employing their own form of occupational therapy - The ColonelTMтАЩs theory
OR possibly evidence of a fiendishly clever (and obviously rich) individual who at no small level of personal discomfort flew from Bangkok to London and then to California in the space of 3 days solely to cover his tracks and continue his multiple posting activities from IP addresses spread across three continents - Hedda TMтАЩs theory
And why fiendishly clever? Well, who could have sleuthed their way through the Forum postings of the last week and come up with such a connected narrative unless someone тАЬinтАЭ on the plot or <gasp> someone with an alleged background in military intelligence whoтАЩs used to solving such trivial jigsaw puzzles
Was it dear Maggie who said тАЬyou pays your money and you makes your choiceтАЭ?
Wily Willy Harlan III
Earl of Lucan
Kansas Fried Cunt
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Follies and nonsense, whims and inconsistencies do divert me, I own, and I laugh at them whenever I can - Jane Austen, Letters
Stop 1:54am
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