Just a moment to say thanks !

As I begin to pack to leave the land of Smiles, it is with the usual feeling of loss of something that cannot be found any where else. Realizing that such wonderful boys and such freedom to enjoy life is not every where in the world.

Though I may have tried to do as many as I could while here it was with a year away from my boyfriend of 6 years in whom I still miss to no end. I realize sex and a lot of it cannot replace the heart of knowing anthers heart feels the same way about you as you do them. Smiles and others, who have found themselves a guy with a heart are lucky and all the money and liquor and boys will never fit the loss of knowing you are still yet alone again. Maybe we tell our self this is a means to end the emptiness of having no one except yourself in bed with you. Although often I found some one in bed with me often kept me from sleeping ad they would toss and tumble all night and keep me awake nevertheless, they will certainly be missed.

So I say thanks to all the guys who made my stay such a dream come true, almost to say as I saw on tape George sing somewhere over the rain bow some where HighтАж I so greatly realized I could not take back what he has or what others like him have managed to find which is love returned and love given. It cannot bought or sold and only a cheap imitation of our dreams are mixed up with the guys we seek out here in hope that some where the butterfly effect will end you too will find that special someone.

Memories music greatly served to give me friends I will always cherish and other board members who liked me or not found me to be real and who I am with no apology for who I am or what I do or how тАЬmanyтАЭ I do.

I am alive with hope that some where we all will find that person, some of will forever be the butterfly and love every minute of it.

For such a great time I think the bars the boys and the great people who take the odds on and keep this alive for us when we come. I wish I could call in name those all but I know I would miss someone, so I can only say thanks to those of you who know who you are, that made my time here like a time in wonderland.

All the best to those who know me and those who wish they did not. May you find all you seek? Surely out there is some one who can give me the hope of a guy that will keep me happy as some of you seem to be. I leave no abrasive words for anyone as I pack my clothes to leave only that I wish those of you who will take my place will not waist a moment of the precious time you have here, with hope you will find that special someone if not then the chase continues.

Wesley