I went to TMB Jomtien today to make three arrangements.

1) To make a standing order to a Thai friend with a Bank account at the same branch. Not possible, Standing Orders do not exist. Direct Debits are only possible to an individual and a company.

2) I wanted to transfer my time deposit account money from the account at the Pattaya branch to the one in Jomtien. Not possible - only 200,000 baht a day can be transferred. I have to go to the Pattaya branch.

3) I wanted to send some money to a friend in New Zealand. Not possible. It was suggested that I can go and buy some dollars or Pounds and give them to the bank and then they can transfer? During this enquiry the teller asked how much I wanted to transfer. Not wishing my companion to know, I discreetly passed he the amount written on a slip of paper. She then read it aloud.

I moved my branch from Pattaya to Jomtien as it is more convenient to my condo.

Also I was also severely angry with that branch's incompetence. For no reason, the ATM machine at the bank ate my card one night and they wanted to charge me 300 baht for a new one.

I opened a Time deposit account to get a massive 2.75% interest rate. They set it up wrongly so that I got no interest. Trying to sort out the last two things entailed over an hour and three quarters at the bank. I left with the matters unresolved. They gave me a new ATM card for free and paid the interest into the account but I still suffered reduced benefits but too small to worry about.

I always seem to get angry when I go to the bank so I avoid it. I tried to get Internet banking with TMB but I got a load of mis-information. The I went tot get the forms from their website. There were 15 A4 pages of conditions and one could do very little indeed via the internet.

Is anyone happy with their bank or knows how I can achieve the above services? I'll not be holding my breath. Thanks in advance for any advice.