Two points and then I’ll retire from this topic: (1) Ever since you first posted about this Lao “boy” saga, how many supportive posts have you read about the way you’ve handled the situation? I think “zero” would be about right. That should tell you something.

(2) You say he is 33 years old. You want to advise him how to develop the effort and determination to improve his life. When you were 33 yrs old, how eager were you to take advice about how to lead your life? Has it not occurred to you that he’s not going to change? Ever.

You’re looking for “constructive advice” on how to remedy a situation that does not lend itself to any kind of quick fixes. You need to admit to yourself that you do not have the ability to make things right with him or for him. Apologize to him for your inability to offer a magical solution to his dilemma. Give him some money. Withdraw gracefully (“It’s all my fault, not yours.”). Do whatever is necessary to avoid any further contact with him. Close this chapter of your life. There is no happy ending.