I know some members of this board will take the piss, (consider that I will ignore anything those guys inparticular have to say) but I would like some advice re: my num friend.

I met a guy here in Thailand about four months ago, we started seeing each other on a regular basis and then we agreed a set amount that I could pay him to see him everyday. He was a gogo bar boy for three months and he left the bar in which he had worked to stay with me. It has now been three months since we went 'full time'. He is a farm boy, he never asks for anything (no gold, no mobile - he bought his own) and he is full of energy and life. He has loved learning English and has developed good language skills, far more than the 'what your name' bar talk.

I am no angel and I like places such as Krazy Dragon and flirting with other guys but apart from one misdemeanour, I have not slept with another guy in the last three months.

A few days ago I panicked, a combination of dwindling funds, the fact that I was growing ever more attached and also that I was going to meet his family resulted in me calling the thing off. The reason I gave to him was purely my dwindling funds (but my feelings and the growing prospect of meeting his folks really began to scare me). I have said previously that we both knew the situation, he is a money boy and I am the client but the attachment over three months has grown and I have now thrown it away. Added to that I know I have embarrassed him. I was going to see his family and now I have not gone with him, he has returned home, minus Farang friend. Further, I previously thought that the money I had given him was being banked, with half being sent home to his parents and the rest kept by him for the future. I now know that apart from what he spent on his phone, some new cheap market clothes, rent and food, he has sent all the money I have given him home to his parents, who coming from Isan and being small hold farmers are not what you would call well off. We had planned on buying a few gifts for his family (dress for his mum, some pants and shirts for his brothers and father and a toy for his youngest brother), he would not acccept any money from me and I know he went out and purchased these gifts himself as he had promised his family.

He was confused when we broke up and wasn't sure what he would do. He hates working in the gogo bar, as I said he had just been there three months and was doing it because he wanted to send money home and could not find another job in Pattaya. Further, I know he was heartbroken (and not just for the money) and he even consoled me that everything was ok despite him being shell shocked.

For four nights I have not spoken with him and I miss him, I feel incredibly low. I want him back, I don't want to sleep with anyone else. I know trust will be an issue and possibly he will resent me.

Take it as read that anyone who posts, you are a bastard, you are an idiot, stop being so self indulgent, for chrisakes he's a money boy, get a life etc will all have been considered by me. If anyone has any constructive advice I would be grateful. Is it best to leave things as they are now that the break is made or do you think there is a chance of recovering the situation. I have one more month in Thailand, but as posted in other topics, I will go for another tourist visa and return to Pattaya if we get back together, if not I will probably move elsewhere or go visit other countries until the funds dry up.

Having just read all this back, I realise it is self indulgent and so pathetic, but hey i'll just press the submit button and await the flack.

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