The Tiger Woods story (i.e. "What's the count today") has evolved, perhaps downwards ... though that would be according to your personal priorities regarding Serious News.
On Google News page it was a 'Top Story' for quite a while, with parts of it having to do with how this will affect his (1) golf game, and (2) his endorsement deals sometimes appearing in the 'Sports' section. Now it has trickled down to popping up in the 'Entertainment' box, only moving back to 'Top Story' when yet another lovely appears on TMZ or Fox News spilling the lurid details as to how 'Tige' had her over the kitchen island "in tiger's own home!" while "Elin was breastfeeding upstairs!!". The count now appears somewhat stalled at a perfect dozen, though everyone is holding their breathe(s) as to when the baker will appear.

THINGS WE NOW KNOW ABOUT TIGER:

  • He's sex addict (and according to Megyn Kelly, "needs to get into therapy") [/*:m:3g0jy47z]
  • He leaves his dalliances tired and smiling: " ... He's an animal. I felt like a well-used rag doll ... " (she said, smiling)[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
  • Tiger is VERY well-endowed indeed.[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
  • He's a drug addict.[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
  • He can't drive ... but he drives well ... and he drives me well.[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
  • Gillette Co. is not amused.[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
  • The play on words regarding 'Golf' is the new 'Recession': " ... Wow, that was a REALLY LONG drive into the, er, VERY WET SAND BUNKER ... "[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
  • The search for the, er, 'Smoking Gun video' carries on feverishly (especially for gays: Read: 'Tiger is VERY well-endowed indeed'.)[/*:m:3g0jy47z]



THINGS WE KNOW ABOUT LES LIASONS:

  • Taking a cue directly from The Elephant Man and Richard Nixon, Tige's Girls, one a time, have declared:
    "I am not a whore"
    "I am not a tramp"
    "I am not an escort"
    "I am not stupid"
    "I am not a bimbo"
    "I am not a homewrecker"
    [/*:m:3g0jy47z]
  • And from Gloria Gayner:
    "I will survive"[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
  • "Tiger is very well endowed" has now been corroborated by 9 of the (now) 13) young ladies.[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
  • Taking a cue directly from Michael Jackson, 13 of 13 of the group have been white. (Please see Mr Jesse Jackson immediately for succour and counselling)[/*:m:3g0jy47z]