Work for EX Thai sex workers

Just call me Mr. Controversy.

I am curious about the subject about what happens when a farang forms a relationship with a Thai sex worker (go go, beer bar, or even a flirty waiter kind of a gig) and the Thai then quits his workplace?

Well, then what? I am really curious about this.

So there is a honeymoon of one week or one year and the Thai boy lives like a King and catches up on all his Chinese soap operas, and then what?

So, now it is clear the Thai boy has to do something for work in hi native culture. Well, what can he do?

Now, he can get a boring low paid job like Big C clerk that takes so many hours and pays so little. But a boy who was attracted to the glamour of being a sex worker, how could he handle that? And he knows he doesn't need this little money. His farang can take care everything ...

So, what I am getting at is setting the boy up in a business. Now, most people know the failure rate of sex bars run by amateurs is dismal. So what other kinds of businesses could a typical ex barboy be expected to have some chance at succeeding in, that might actually be more fruitful and interesting than a Big C clerk?

It seems to me this kind of issue means the end of alot of farang/Thai boy affairs. An old retired farang is age and culture appropriate to relax every day in the tropics, but a young Thai man should really be functioning some way in his own culture. Most sane farangs would grow tired and angry of a boy who is happy to not do anything indefinitely, yet many of these boys clearly have no ambition.

So, any thoughts or ideas on this?

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I've seen quite a few boys end up as hairdressers or their boyfriend opens a small restaurant (Niddy's) or a guest-house. There's one "boy" at Dream Boy who was supported on his way to successful completion of a tertiary college qualification in something practical by a Westerner over many years, but who found he could earn more money hocking his box, so he's back at the bar. Another boy there gave up a successful job with a multinational to earn much more money as a bar boy. Unfortunately for the Thais, having and practising a skill does not necessarily command any sort of premium in the jobs market. Jobs at the top are always reserved for the Thai elite; most everyone else is an also-ran and their salary reflects their lowly social position. The King encourages this with his lunatic economic policy of self-sufficiency, best translated as "be happy with what you've got and don't make waves"

Homi,

Thats pretty much my impression.
So how can such relationships last? If a boy isn't very ambitious, and I agree with you there is a bias in this culture to stay and accept your place, and lets face it, most sex workers aren't very ambitious (unless you count trying to maximize offs as ambitious), then it would be a crappy investment to set them up in a business owner or even pay his school.

Supposing a boy did seem to have a certain spark. Any biz ideas other than the obvious bars and small food outlets?

It does seem the old wisdom, avoid relationships with sex workers like the plague is good advise, but in Pattaya, not very easy to follow.

While ambition does not often rate highly with most Thais, I've seen a few both bar boys and otherwise who have done well for themselves, and of their own volition. However you need to understand that Thailand is a hierarchical society so the concept of patronage runs very deep. While at worst the bar-boy's customer (if seen more than once) often feels he's little more than a walking ATM, from the bar-boy's perspective (and non-professional sex workers would have the same attitude) the relationship is now one of patronage. You are his patron - an honoured place in Thai society (all other things being equal, and since you're not a Thai and by you associating with him other Thais know he must be a prostitute, they're not equal and therefore there's not much honour). So a patron's role is to provide protection, care, money, the needs of life - without the recipient having to provide anything of his own. It all makes perfect sense if you have that mind-set

If you don't have that mind-set or, worse, don't understand that that's the context in which you're operating, then it leads to confusion and resentment on the part of the Westerner. Take that along with the general Asian sense of "every man for himself" which often means doing down your co-workers, and Thailand is not that comfortable a place for the poorer Thais. That's why there's such a huge emphasis on family. They're the only people who will look after you - and of course you must look after them. I heard a story the other day which is not a-typical, of someone who trained as a hairdresser and the only job she could get was working for tips (no salary) in a beauty salon ("Maybe salary after one year"). Don't assume it's only foreigners they try to screw!!

That last part is shocking because Thais don't tip hairdressers!

Yes, none of this surprises me.
But I am still trying to understand the mindset. What about the future? Sex workers know that they are mostly over at 30, or even 25. They know that farangs leave or die. I am not saying they are stupid. So, does the future not really exist for them very much as something to plan for?

...But I am still trying to understand the mindset. What about the future? Sex workers know that they are mostly over at 30, or even 25. They know that farangs leave or die. I am not saying they are stupid. So, does the future not really exist for them very much as something to plan for?

And how many 20'somethings in your own home country plan for the future? It's a "youth" thing not a Thai thing. We are seeing an exaggerated effect since Bar Boys are of the lower economic classes and have little education or chance of advancement.

There are a lot of things ex-bar boys can do with little education just like any other Thai. They can drive a tuk-tuk or motrocycle taxi or even a real taxi-cab. They can work in the construction trades. Most are farm boys and they can always go back to farming. They can have a small shop (not a 7-11 but a stall in the market) to sell "things".
Whatever they do it will have to be "sanuk" and they will want to be with their friends or family.

[/quote]While at worst the bar-boy's customer (if seen more than once) often feels he's little more than a walking ATM, from the bar-boy's perspective (and non-professional sex workers would have the same attitude) the relationship is now one of patronage. You are his patron - an honoured place in Thai society (all other things being equal, and since you're not a Thai and by you associating with him other Thais know he must be a prostitute, they're not equal and therefore there's not much honour). So a patron's role is to provide protection, care, money, the needs of life - without the recipient having to provide anything of his own. It all makes perfect sense if you have that mind-set

Thank you Homintern, now it makes perfect sense to me! But it is disgusting to know that other Thais know he must be a prostitute (which is how he defined himself), and not being FRIENDS with the farang (which is how I defined it).

there are escorts even in their 60's, I see quite a lot advertised in their 40's and 50's - generally the kinkier side of sex albeit - and even a guy in his 60's - mind you generally I've seen advertised, guys in their 60's generally advertise as masters and that sort of thing. Not everyone wants a younger type guy - and there is certainly activity out there for guys in their 30's.

...But I am still trying to understand the mindset. What about the future? Sex workers know that they are mostly over at 30, or even 25. They know that farangs leave or die. I am not saying they are stupid. So, does the future not really exist for them very much as something to plan for?

And how many 20'somethings in your own home country plan for the future? It's a "youth" thing not a Thai thing. We are seeing an exaggerated effect since Bar Boys are of the lower economic classes and have little education or chance of advancement.

There are a lot of things ex-bar boys can do with little education just like any other Thai. They can drive a tuk-tuk or motrocycle taxi or even a real taxi-cab. They can work in the construction trades. Most are farm boys and they can always go back to farming. They can have a small shop (not a 7-11 but a stall in the market) to sell "things".
Whatever they do it will have to be "sanuk" and they will want to be with their friends or family.

Sorry, but NONE of those wonderful occupations sounds the least bit sanuk to me. What is this myth that Thais are all happy natives? Bangkok taxi drivers are one of the most miserable class of creatures on the planet.

there are escorts even in their 60's, I see quite a lot advertised in their 40's and 50's - generally the kinkier side of sex albeit - and even a guy in his 60's - mind you generally I've seen advertised, guys in their 60's generally advertise as masters and that sort of thing. Not everyone wants a younger type guy - and there is certainly activity out there for guys in their 30's.

Get a grip. This is Thailand! People want boys and for the muscle queens it tops out at 30, 40 if exceptional. Have you seen the pitiful looking 40 year old go go boys? They are pathetic and hardly ever get offed.