Advice for long-term needed...

[Patexpat]

Well taking all the above in to account, and if as you say you are a presentable 27 yo then sure, your boy has gained a lot of kudos with his friends - but if you are paying the 19 yo more than the salary of a Thai International airline pilot and similar professionals and think that has no bearing on his feelings and attitude to you, then you must have the blinkers well and truly super glued on IMHO.

[cdnmatt]

Ok, this is starting to get pretty useless.

You're young - stay away from the bar boys and find someone compatible - Pattaya is NOT the place to find your life partner.

No, I don't want to. :P I've already had my "life partner", did the whole forever and always thing for years, joint bank accounts, etc. Didn't work out, and I don't feel like putting myself in a position where I can get that hurt at the moment. At least with this I know what I'm getting myself into from the beginning.

You're talking about a prostitue you picked out of a line-up. You picked him; he didn't pick you. You can take a boy out of the bar, but you can never take the bar out of the boy.

He was working in a bar for about 3 weeks, so you're telling me I can't take that out of him? I could understand if he was there for years, because I've already been though that, but 3 weeks? Only major concern is what other people have already said; he's going to take advice from his friends, who have been here for years, way before he'll ever listen to me.

At your age, you can do better.

Been there, done that, don't want to do it again, at least not right now. I like to help people in a way they can't help themselves. It's what makes me sleep well at night. Say I go meet some 23yo who's going to university for an engineering degree. How am I supposed to help him? I can't. This 19yo on the other hand, if he wants, I can transform his entire life for him. And you can't tell me he doesn't want love, security, stability, to be taken care of, and a better life for both himself and his family. Not wanting that defies human nature, regardless of culture.

And I know right now I'm a status symbol + ATM machine for him, because I've already been paraded around lots by other boys who like to show me off. I know how it goes. I was just looking for advice from others who have had long-term relationships, and how to make them realize that it's worth while seeing me differently. Obviously, I'm not going to get that here.

Anyway, I'm outta here! For those who posted supporting comments and great advice, thank you very much! For the cynics, it must suck to have such a shitty view of the world. I've been an entrepreneur for about a decade for a reason, so I'll take care of it. If you wanted, I'll post an update in about 4 weeks letting you know everything is going great. Just watch.

Cheers boys!

Like I said - you're in a dream world and only want to hear positive feedback to confirm your wishes. I suggest you remove the money from your love equation and see if the goo goo gaa gaa continues. Honestly I hope that you proof me wrong... but I doubt it.

BTW - 4 week is too short of a time to report back - Of course everything will continue to be great as long as the cash continues to flow. Being cynical and realistic are two different things.

[cdnmatt]

Sure, I'm in a dream world. I'll agree with that, but hey, that's where dreams are made. Can't tell me the impossible isn't possible.

Anyway, obviously I won't get any helpful advice from here, so talk to you boys later!

Sure, I'm in a dream world. I'll agree with that, but hey, that's where dreams are made. Can't tell me the impossible isn't possible.

Anyway, obviously I won't get any helpful advice from here, so talk to you boys later!

Why do you bother to ask for advice if you are going to rudely dismiss it when it does not come back as you want it to?

You are talking to people decades and decades older than you -- many of us have been through it all before. You'd be wise to listen up, because you are on the verge of wasting months or years of your lives, and untold thousands of dollars, on someone who probably does not love you and never will.

I think that cdnmatt may be the least deluded of people writing here. He has already said he is looking for something that is a contractual arrangement. He has found a boy who he really likes and has the financial wherewithal to set the terms of engagement. I think he is on the right track.

In fact, he seems to be one of the most clear thinking people on this board. I don't see much dreamlike fantasy in his approach.

Most of the respondents here are projecting too much of their own fantasies into cdnmatt's story. Enjoy yourself cdnmatt and don't be distracted by the tired old queers on this board. :salute:

You're young - stay away from the bar boys and find someone compatible - Pattaya is NOT the place to find your life partner.

No, I don't want to. :P I've already had my "life partner", did the whole forever and always thing for years, joint bank accounts, etc. Didn't work out, and I don't feel like putting myself in a position where I can get that hurt at the moment. At least with this I know what I'm getting myself into from the beginning.

Cheers boys!

This is an absolutely brilliant response cdnmatt. Most here can't see what you're driving at since they have been blinded by their own failures. :thumbright:

[francois]

Hey everyone,

I'm 27, look much younger, no Brad Pitt but fairly decent looking, nice guy, well composed, good hygiene, etc.
Cheers guys!

After reading all the comments, etc, this post is even more curious then the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, who, as Brad Pitt, got younger and younger.

[cdnmatt]

Thanks guys!

Because nobody ever answered my original question(s). For the most part, for responses I got, "right on man, congrats!", or "you're a complete, naive fool who has no clue". Not to sound like a jerk, but all the advice I got was the standard shit that anyone who's spent more than two weeks in Pattaya already knows.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for genuine, true love, or my soulmate, or anything like that. Already found my soul mate once, and he turned out to be an asshole, so don't particularly want to find another one. Just looking for a mutually beneficial relationship. He takes care of me, I take care of him, and we're both better off in life for it. Simple as that.

So, I want him for long-term, but I'm a little unsure how this all works here. Do I just offer him to live with me, and offer to pay him say 500 baht per day (15,000/month)? I've been told the average go-go boy without customers makes 3000/month, so I think that's reasonable, no? Or is that too cheap? I don't need or want sex every night, have a really nice 1bdrm condo, he'll have his own key so he can come and go as he wants, if he wants I can get him an English tutor, and myself a Thai tutor, etc.

Fair enough... and here is my advice:

1. Don't let him move in with you - rent a 4500/month room for him. This way you guys can spend as much time as you like and whenever each one of you need some space - he can always go back to his room. This can also make it easier should things not work out between the two of you without you having to physically kick him out of your condo.

2. Give him a budget of 10,000 baht spending money per month. This should include utilities, food, clothes, etc, but excluding rent.

3. Tell him you're NOT interested in visiting and/or knowing his family (at least at this early stage of your friendship) - as this will cost you plenty!!

Good luck.