Advice for long-term needed...

[yedo111]

Im afraid this is not the way to fall in love with a boy .

First of all, you should stop giving him money every time you meet, and see if your relationship feels the same when theres no money for him.

A true long lasting relationship is not based on money, you dont need a big IQ to figure that out.

He can be the hottest sexy boy on this planet but without real love you can't expect it to last.

My 23 y.o bf works for his money and study at the university, his family works hard .

Maybe you should take him away from the bar scene and Pattaya and stay with him in his village back home for a month.
You will learn more about his background and family and thats a good thing.

[cdnmatt]

Thanks for all the great comments and some excellent insight guys. Oh, and not like it matters, but it's been about 5 weeks, but just 3 weeks since I last updated this thread. Been meaning to make a better reply, but for now will just comment on one thing:

First of all, you should stop giving him money every time you meet, and see if your relationship feels the same when theres no money for him.

I don't give him money every time anymore, and couldn't even if I wanted to, because he'll refuse it. For example, just last night I tried to give him 4000 baht, and he wouldn't even take 1000 of it. I initially threw so much money at him for a reason, and in hindsight, I'm very glad I did, because it paid off. I wanted him to know right from the beginning that I'm not just some farang looking for the cheapest and best fuck. I've tried this with several other Pattaya boys, but they've never been receptive to it, whereas he was since he's new. That, and we're just naturally a good fit for each other.

I know it's not the greatest way to start a relationship, but he WAS a go-go boy in Sunnee, so how else was I supposed to go about it? Be stingy, and debate with him about how much his life is worth to me? I don't think that would have went over too well, and if I did that, he (rightfully) probably wouldn't have anything to do with me anymore. I wanted him to realize that I'm capable and willing of taking care of him, and looks like I accomplished that quite well. Now as the weeks tick by, things continuously evolve into more of an actual / stable relationship, and I can't see that changing direction anytime soon. And I'm certain one of the main reasons things have evolved so quickly, is because I did treat him so well initially.

It's still working out great though. He has his own key to the place now, and just comes and goes as he wants. Sometimes he sleeps here, sometimes he doesn't, whatever he feels like that day. We've already been to the supermarket, and bought him a bunch of stuff he likes, so he has lots of food here. I unfortunately now only get to sleep with a fan instead of air-con, because the air-con irritates his throat too much, but hey, that's minor. Then I throw him a bit of cash every once in a while to make sure he doesn't go without, and all is well in the world (for now at least).

He's not a money boy though, and I'm certain of that now. For one of many examples, when visiting his family in Kohn Kaen recently he ended up with a couple cracked ribs from playing volleyball. After about five days of pain, he hit me up for some money, because he wanted to get his chest x-rayed. At first I didn't know what the money was for, so I (mistakenly) got a bit cynical, and he was genuinely hurt. It was as if he couldn't contemplate how or why I'd ever think he's a money boy. After that, there's no chance in hell he was taking money from me to go visit the doctor, and the only way he was going was if I personally went with him, and directly paid the bill. After that little episode, I didn't have the heart to tell him going to the doctor for cracked ribs was pointless, so off we went!

He can be the hottest sexy boy on this planet but without real love you can't expect it to last.

Oh no, the love is there. But, I've already bored you guys enough, and I'm tired of writing now.

[Smiles]

" ... I don't give him money every time anymore, and couldn't even if I wanted to, because he'll refuse it. For example, just last night I tried to give him 4000 baht, and he wouldn't even take 1000 of it. I initially threw so much money at him for a reason, and in hindsight, I'm very glad I did, because it paid off. I wanted him to know right from the beginning that I'm not just some farang looking for the cheapest and best fuck. I've tried this with several other Pattaya boys, but they've never been receptive to it, whereas he was since he's new. That, and we're just naturally a good fit for each other ... "

So he passed your childish little tests eh?. Great way to start a relationship ... a B+.
Thai guys are much smarter than you are I'm afraid Cdnmatt, which you will soon find out. What the hell, it's a journey anyway.

[cdnmatt]

So he passed your childish little tests eh?. Great way to start a relationship ... a B+.
Thai guys are much smarter than you are I'm afraid Cdnmatt, which you will soon find out. What the hell, it's a journey anyway.

Huh? What the hell is that supposed to mean? No, I don't view him as some lower level of life. If I ever did that, I'm sure he'd pick up on it, and either never have anything to do with me again, or take me for every dollar he could.

When we first met, I was a sex tourist from Canada, and he was a go-go boy in Sunnee, so please explain to me how I was supposed to go about this, oh wise one? Of course I want some indication that he doesn't only care about my wallet, just like he wants some indication that I don't only care about his body. We seem to be proving that to each other quite well.

Of course I want some indication that he doesn't only care about my wallet, just like he wants some indication that I don't only care about his body. We seem to be proving that to each other quite well.

Quite possibly. Unfortunately you seem to be proving the reverse to the rest of us.

As long as you're both happy, who cares? I certainly don't.

[sjaak327]

Let's summarize this a bit.

You met your boyfriend in a boy bar, which makes him a prostitute and you a sex tourist. Nothing wrong with that as such (not my cup of tea, but that's obviously of no concern). But I mention this anyway, because I think that this isn't a good basis to build a long term relationship based upon love and mutual respect.

You know him little over a month, you don't communicate well (at least you don't have a common language in which you could communicate). And you think you have it covered. Fair enough, you might well be right.

I would on the other hand not delude myself like this.

[yedo111]

It's still working out great though. He has his own key to the place now, and just comes and goes as he wants. Sometimes he sleeps here, sometimes he doesn't, whatever he feels like that day.

Well I wish you good luck , as long as you're happy its the most important thing.

Maybe it doesnt bother you that he is not with you every night ? He could be with someone else ?
After all he is a go-go boy....

[Brad the Impala]

It's still working out great though. He has his own key to the place now, and just comes and goes as he wants. Sometimes he sleeps here, sometimes he doesn't, whatever he feels like that day.

Well I wish you good luck , as long as you're happy its the most important thing.

Maybe it doesnt bother you that he is not with you every night ? He could be with someone else ?
After all he is a go-go boy....

It clearly doesn't bother him, but it sounds like it bothers you, and so you want it to bother him!

It clearly doesn't bother him, but it sounds like it bothers you, and so you want it to bother him!

It clearly doesn't bother him, he just feels compelled to keep on writing about it.

You met your boyfriend in a boy bar, which makes him a prostitute and you a sex tourist.

Not necessarily the latter (although correct in this case). Most of the customers at present, so I am informed, are residents.

As long as you have an open mind and are prepared to accept others as individuals rather than as stereotypes relationships like this can be as good (or as bad) as any other. I know of more relationships of this type that have succeeded with farangs living here than have failed (discounting those which only lasted a few days or weeks). "Love and mutual respect" and trust, common interests, etc, is more important to some of us than past employment.

cdnmatt, whatever I and others think is of far less importance than what you think. If you are happy with things as they are then you are doing better than the majority of those posting here!