I was going to respond to the post "Bar Boys - Gay or straight, does it matter?"
but I didn't want to derail that train-wreck any farther. So here's my
interesting observation....

I have a friend (Puk) who works in a bar in Pattaya who I've seen the past few trips.
I usually off him 3 or 4 times each trip so we've gotten to know each other
kinda well as far as personality, as well as sexually. This boy is really sweet
but likes to think of himself as tough - all guy. Here's what's interesting to me...

One time in the bar he was sitting with me, pointing out his friends on stage
and telling me about them. One of the boys on stage was really flirty with me
and I asked Puk if he was gay. He shook his head no rather vigorously
and said "him boy!" Then he started pointing out which of the guys were "gay"
according to him. He pointed and named a few, then pointed to a couple of
obvious lady boys, and said "him laydeee." Then he pointed to some of the
remaining guys and classified them as "boys." He used that descriptive for
himself with a little bit of pride, and more than a little hint of dislike for the
"gay" or lady boys. I got the sense that he just didn't like to be thought of
as effeminate like them.

He's the type of boy who likes to flex his arms and chest to impress you. He
has a gorgeous physique, not overly buff, but cut and a little muscl-ey. He
has a tattoo one of his pecs he's really proud of. Longish hair but not too
made up...you know the type. But...he's really sweet and kissy-kissy in the bar.
AND...

When we're hanging out away from the bar, he's just as affectionate. He
always wants to hold hands on the street, in the mall, in the restaurant. He
loves kissing and does it sometimes in public (to my slight embarrassment.)
In bed, he's a big cuddler after sex. Loves sucking, being rimmed, being
fucked! He's not femmy at all, but very affectionate. He wants to play
around in the shower together after, and always wants to get off again in
the morning. *whew*

anyway...back to the point, haha.

He describes himself proudly as "boy," not "man." He makes the clear
distinction that he's not gay and definitely doesn't want anything to do with
a lady boy. But in bed he kisses and bottoms like he's passionately in love.
Maybe he's a good actor, but damn he's good at it.

So does anyone have any experience with this? What do the guys consider "gay"
vs. "boy." And when you meet someone who says they're not gay, how do
you ask them if they like sex or if they bottom, especially if they don't want
the guys in the bar to know??

By the way, I have no idea if Puk actually prefers girls, or if he has sex with
any of his Thai friends, or if he's just gay for pay. One time we were lying
in bed just cuddling and he was just looking at me and smiling and I said
"Pom chorp khun." (I like you.) He kissed me and whispered in my ear,
"Pom rak khun." I melted.

gay, bi, "boy", "man" - who knows.

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