A schoolboy crush

This posting is directly related to "Gay Thailand," BUT I would like to warm up to the subject by first copying some postings from the Internet. These may all be forgeries, but they struck me as genuine.

Posted by Dave (JK) on April 23, 1999 at 17:26:20:

Erm i just wanted to get off my chest that i really love my teacher
and i want him loads

i know i have said this a thousand times and no one need reply
but it just helps me if i say it,

I really really like him alt and i would do anything for him

Just wanted to say that
and if he in a 100000000000000000000000000000/1 chance
he is reading this then i just want to say to him and all
the other people who expereienced similar heartbreak that
I'm thinking about you.

Love
Dave
xxxx

and then:

It really helps to talk about him, I absoulutly love him in
everylittle detail he has to be the most fantastic man i have
ever met, no matter what background you come from or
what you look like or how you behave
he always has time for you and he is always interested in
what you do and like and just small stuff like that,

thats the problem

he has time for EVERYONE not just me and that makes me
INSANELY jealous

He also loves his family and goes on about them alot that hurts

and sometimes it is like he has spent his complementry 10
minuites with you
and would like you to leave even though he would never say it.
I'd say i am closer to him than most people and once i was
thick enough to ask if he liked me (as a freind)
and he just said that he doesent like anyone in
that way as emotions don't come in to it....

Maybe he has sussed me out but he never makes it
obvious that he knows
everyone probably thinks that he is being great
by not letting on that he knows but i don't think
he does even though i
make it fucking obvious

Physically he is also perfect He is in his forties
Bald men have also always turned me on he is well built due to the
amount of exercise he does
he has the most lovely facial hair ever!
he dresses really smartly as well (shirt and tie)
and even a suit the other day which turned me on beyond belif

and he has nice hairy arms which suggest he has a hairy body
It makes me so angry to know that he is straight that he
is just part of the system and i could never have him ever and i
just want to scream

I don't know what i have to do to get him to notice me
maybe thats why i used to think suicide would
but now i realise that he would notice me if i
did that but i wouldent be around to see his reaction and
if i left a nnote
saying why
then th would probably hurt him and i could never do that,

I know i should be happy if he is but the truth is that
i think about him all day everyday and i'll be leaving school soon i
only have a half year left and i'm petrified i'll never see him again
it would destroy me,
i think about him and his wife together and it
makes me physically sick
I just want to throw my arms around him and run off
together and never stop running.

Thankyou for listening
Love
Dave
xxx

And then:

Dear all

I need some serious help

OK I know i obsess and i also go on and on and on but this
is really getting to me i dident want to say anything unless
it went away and you
all thought i was being silly but i have had these really
bad recurring dreams about my teacher I know you're all
thinking
and i'm really sorry for being so selfish but i cant sleep
at all and i am constantly walking round with my stomach in a
knot

In this dream i am walking through school and i see him
i tell him that i'm going down south for 2 weeks and that i'll see
him when i get back

he says "I won't be here when you get back" I then walk
him to the gate where a taxi is waiting to take him away, he is
leaving forever with his family to live somwhere
else at this point i am just panic striken
and then comes the worst part.....
he tells me of the sexual activites he and his wife get up to

I know it sounds kind of funny and a lot of people would
get turned on by it, but i just feel sick he goes on about the
positions and how well she sucks, and about tit fucking and
sex toys,

I then get into the taxi with him and we drive for ages (by
this point i am in a hysterical fit of tears) I begin
to lose the
plot a bit, he then gets out and says goodbye, i hold his
hand and hug him, he smiles and tells me not to cry then he
walks away and i wake up I wake up either shaking or sweating
or crying my eyes out i don't know what to do...
i've had this dream for about two weeks on and off
but the past 4 nights i've had it and i know i'm going to have it
tonight

What do i do?

I think it may have somthing to do with me leaving
school next year
but if it is how am i going to deal with it,
I think it may be the time to reveal all.........

What do you think?
Dave
xxxx


Please I would appreciate as many responses as possible
this is the most serious letter i have ever written i
think i am going to come apart as its started to affect
me mentally i
have began to get really paranoid and dangerously jealous
whenever anybody talks to him,
i've even started to think that one of my best freind who
is a girl (With a serious boyfreind) is beginning to like him, and
i know that he is straight and i cant change that but
i am begging you, i just cant forget him, i need to have him there
even if its not sexually i still need him here just so i know
that he is close and that i can spek to him once in a while do
you think its mental of me to ask him for his address so
i can write to him If he ever moved back to scotland or
anywhere else and he dident tell me i would be done for it
would finish me.

Now -- this is going to be a long post -- I once had a similar thing happen to me, in Iran. Well, check out Part II for that.

Similar Threads:

During my two years in Iran, I had an Iranian doctor as my lover. Over the months, I must have met 200 members of his "tribe."

But, during one vacation, we travelled south from Teheran, passing through Isfahan, and then arriving at the house of his relatives in Shiraz (a storied city).

We stayed with those relatives for about a week. Hassan-Agha and his wife has four children, three elder girls and a younger son. They all had names beginning with the letter "A." The boy, ARMAN, was I guess, about 12yo and in 6th grade. I enjoyed helping him (he was as cute as a button) with his homework.

But, quite soon, it became apparent that Arman had developed a crush on me! A really cute 12yo boy, and bright to boot!

So we all watched, in fascination tinged with good humor. When Arman understood that I like him back, he became very physical in his affection (physical, duh, not sexual). We went on a trip to Persepolis, and he insisted on sitting on my lap! I swear to whatever gods may be, Arman was a really sweet boy!

Then we had to leave. I sent a couple of letters, and got a couple of replies.

And here comes the twist. Ten years later, my Iranian lover called me up in America, and we chatted for a minute, and then he said, "I have a surprise for you. Arman is here. He's a medical student now, and he wants to talk to you."

And we had a very sweet chat, as the memories of time past came sweeping over me in great tidal waves. This very sweet 12yo boy was now on track to be a doctor!

The next posting describes The Problem.

The problem is that my former BF (now working as a teacher in Chiang Mai) has suddenly become aware of the fact that a 12yo male student has developed a crush on him!

The boy is evidently cute, just like Arman, but -- unlike Arman -- he lives in the 21st century and has been sneakily taking pictures of FBF with his telephone!

And, unlike myself with Arman, there is a teacher-student relationship to consider. (Like the first posts from Davey.)

Any advice? How do you deal with the fact that a 12yo boy has a crush on you? In my own case, we simply left the city of Shiraz (with very fond memories, mind you.) But what do you do when this boy is your student, and calls you up suddenly, to confess that he has lots of pictures of you?

Not so easy! Ask your Thai friends what they would do?

[rincondog]

Henry Cate:

But, quite soon, it became apparent that Arman had developed a crush on me! A really cute 12yo boy, and bright to boot!

So we all watched, in fascination tinged with good humor. When Arman understood that I like him back, he became very physical in his affection (physical, duh, not sexual). We went on a trip to Persepolis, and he insisted on sitting on my lap! I swear to whatever gods may be, Arman was a really sweet boy!

Typical of pedos recounting their encounters to get themselves excited.

I would stop writing about it on a forum before police get to read it or calls are made from "do gooders".

[Beachlover]

I guess FBF could do one of 2 things. He could get the school involved - this may embarrass and emotionally traumatise the boy if they don't handle it delicately... but it would put the teacher in a much safer position. Or he could not get the school involved... and simply deal with it himself. But if something were to go wrong, he would be at more risk than he would be if he openly informed the school early in the case.

Either way, whatever he does, he should clearly draw the line with the boy and set boundaries. Be friendly, and be a mentor or role model if desired, but set firm boundaries! The boy may be distraught or emotional... but that's part of being a teenager, and nothing he won't get over.

When I was 17, I was befriended by a boy 4 years below me. He was a sort of strong alpha male type, popular, good at sports etc... but like all teenagers, he could be very vulnerable and unsure at times when he let his guard down. I don't know why he was attracted to me at all. At first, I think he was just looking for a role model or someone older to look up to for reassurance. After a while, I could feel he was starting to get quite emotionally attached and had a strong "crush". He got distressed if I didn't show him attention and tried to provoke me etc.

We kept being friends, but I didn't let it go any further than that (I wasn't very "developed" and was too confused to do anything myself at the time). I think he was pretty upset by this, but he'll get over it.

I think it's pretty normal for kids to do this. They crave older role models. Sometimes they can become infatuated with one. I remember studying some theory that might relate to this in psychology... can't remember what it's called though. But yeah... a lot of the time, it's not a sexual thing. If there's anything physical about it, it's just the need to feel secure. Everyone, especially kids, needs a hug every now and then. It shouldn't be viewed sexually.

[Beachlover]

haha... it's great he is become a doctor. It's always satisfying to see kids grow up to be successful and able to look after themselves. There's so many things that can sidetrack them along the way. Growing up is a journey fraught with danger... but no other way eh?

That's basically what I told good old FBF. One of the very difficult problems is making your superiors aware of the problem without destroying the boy.

I would stop writing about it on a forum before police get to read it or calls are made from "do gooders".

The police are going to bust a 12yo boy for having a crush on his male teacher?

This is not a story about SEX, Oogleman. It is a discussion (hopefully) of a professional problem. Like all discussions on this forum, it is quite likely to degenerate into name-calling and general bitchiness.

My former BF is a teacher. Like all teachers, that means that he works with children (duh). He has taken to teaching with great enthusiasm, and loves his students -- boys and girls alike. May I please stress that the word "love" does not translate as "cornholing."

His students love him right back. He's busy and overworked and (my guess) having the time of his life, rediscovering the world of love outside of the gay bars.

Have you ever considered the possibility that you have a one-track mind, Oogleman?

I guess FBF could do one of 2 things. He could get the school involved - this may embarrass and emotionally traumatise the boy if they don't handle it delicately... but it would put the teacher in a much safer position. Or he could not get the school involved... and simply deal with it himself. But if something were to go wrong, he would be at more risk than he would be if he openly informed the school early in the case.

Either way, whatever he does, he should clearly draw the line with the boy and set boundaries. Be friendly, and be a mentor or role model if desired, but set firm boundaries! The boy may be distraught or emotional... but that's part of being a teenager, and nothing he won't get over.

When I was 17, I was befriended by a boy 4 years below me. He was a sort of strong alpha male type, popular, good at sports etc... but like all teenagers, he could be very vulnerable and unsure at times when he let his guard down. I don't know why he was attracted to me at all. At first, I think he was just looking for a role model or someone older to look up to for reassurance. After a while, I could feel he was starting to get quite emotionally attached and had a strong "crush". He got distressed if I didn't show him attention and tried to provoke me etc.

We kept being friends, but I didn't let it go any further than that (I wasn't very "developed" and was too confused to do anything myself at the time). I think he was pretty upset by this, but he'll get over it.

I think it's pretty normal for kids to do this. They crave older role models. Sometimes they can become infatuated with one. I remember studying some theory that might relate to this in psychology... can't remember what it's called though. But yeah... a lot of the time, it's not a sexual thing. If there's anything physical about it, it's just the need to feel secure. Everyone, especially kids, needs a hug every now and then. It shouldn't be viewed sexually.

I agree. Thinking back about this topic, I suddenly realized that my older brother Jim developed a serious (REALLY SERIOUS) crush on a baseball player named Eddie Mathews, and my other older brother spent a small fortune on a framed portrait of Ted Williams (another baseball player). Nothing sexual about it, but a definite search for role models and mentors.

It's interesting to me that this seems to be something which absolutely transcends cultural boundaries, just like "romantic love," which some farang professors used to believe was something that only happened in Farangistan.

Not at all. Listen to pop music from around the world, and it's 95% about love.