I wonder how many people really know or understand San Francisco.

I am a California boy myself, but spent my life in La Jolla and Santa Barbara (and a bit in L.A.) I only moved to SF when I was compelled to do so by my former BF's need for an American education. I was coming from a life in Chiang Mai and had nothing. Fortunately, my old friend from Iran was now a landlord and had a studio available for me. I bought a bed and went to work...in Oakland.

This means that I got up in the morning, took a Muni bus from the Haight down to Civic Center, and then took BART to Oakland. The reverse in the evening, of course. I was working for a software startup called Forte Software, Inc.. Virtually nobody in SF understood the meaning of this.

I was already well aware of SF's self-promotion as a "gay Mecca." On weekends, I would take the bus (or later, my little old Toyota) over to the Castro and visit there. I found a lot of "professional homosexuals" living there, including the guys wearing leather pants with the bare ass showing.

It may have been a "gay Mecca," but I found neither sex nor friends there. On the contrary, I soon settled into a ghastly solitude of work-sleep-work. I spent more time with my Thai bf (on the phone) than I did with any gay American living in "the gay Mecca." Including my bearded friend from Iran.

Well, by then I was 46 years old. I guess the gay folks were right to count me out. Even in "the gay Mecca."

And then! My boyfriend arrived, a lovely young man from Thailand who had just finished high school and was ready to embark on his college education! He was not quite 21, and therefore couldn't get into the gay bars in "the gay Mecca." But he did manage to meet some gay people, at milk bars, etc., and I was surprised to discover first-hand evidence of American racism!

The first example was the worst. Some dude, 30yo, who used my former BF to help him move (in South San Francisco) and then dumped him, the very next day!

I mean, can you imagine? A really cute guy, running around SF, and being treated as a mere "Asian??"

Sometime after that, the former BF looked at me seriously, and said, "Henry, do you think of me as 'your Asian lover?' " I replied, "No, never, I only think of you as [name deleted]." Which was the simple truth.

As the three years wore on, [name deleted] grew sick and tired of the SF gay scene. Beyond that, as an acting major, he simply couldn't get roles in student productions (he had an accent, and did not look like Johnny Walton). So he decided to finish his college education in Thailand. It was a good decision (for him).

But San Francisco? The one memory which stands indelible for me is the GLARES we got in the Castro when we walked along together. ("Read my lips, this boy is way too YOUNG for you!") And then he had a very good idea...we would walk "together," but with him six paces or so in front, so we would not appear as a "couple."

And then the cruising started! Talk about middle-class American hypocrisy at its finest! "This boy is way too young for YOU, but he looks just about right for ME!"

And for final hilarity, there was the lesbian who cruised him. She thought she was looking at a tom-boy, and circled in on him. At the last moment, something must have tipped her off ("This is a male!") and she retreated in horror.

Politically, SF is one of most idiotic cities in the world.

Now it's your turn!

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