Life in Thailand - Test Results

[bkkmfj2648]

Great synopsis Dodger,

I would say that your expatriation into Thailand success is a model to us to aspire towards.

I am 18 months into my new expat life here in Thailand (Jomtien) and I only prepared 2 years prior for my retirement and move to Thailand.

Some general comments and observations:

1.) What is really needed is a how-to-retire successfully blog for Thailand with a specific section for Pattaya. The Supertown web page has a blog section but it has not been updated since June 2023 https://gaysupertown.blogspot.com/ it would be great if there could be a sub-blog section within this blog for retirement and which discusses how to become a successful expat in Thailand.

2.) What is missing is a type of "Welcome Wagon" system https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dic.../welcome-wagon that would be for the newcomers to meet with the already existing expats who live here - to help integrate into their new expat daily life and to make some new friends. Once a month would probably be a good idea. Many of the expat heterosexual groups here in Pattaya have these in place (PCEC, PEC, Buzzin Pattaya bar crawl, etc.) and they seem to function very well - as they make the newbies to Pattaya feel welcome and accelerate the process to find like minded friends.

--> many times some of the visiting forum members have requested for a meetup but it seems that it is difficult to find the right time and/or meeting place for many of us to agree to meet

After 18 months here, I see that it is fairly easy to make Thai friends but very difficult to make farang friends who have common interests. I have been invited to hang out with some farangs - but there was more often than not a BIG emphasis on drinking and staying out late - which unfortunately I am not really into. So, I still try to find farangs that don't put so much pressure on having to drink and to do things outside of the bars.
Unfortunately, after a while, the Jomtien Supertown Complex mantra of "farang sit and farang drink" gets real boring because the minute that I sit down I become lethargic and then add alcohol into the mix and I become sleepy and bored. If only there was a place in the Supertown complex where we could stand up and dance before midnight to classics from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and 2,000s.
I have been taken to the weekly Bingo on Wednesdays - but I find it really boring - so hopefully somebody will invent something more exciting to do in the Supertown complex then the current "farang sit and farang drink" business model.

I would be interested to hear what others think ?

[Dodger]

........After 18 months here, I see that it is fairly easy to make Thai friends but very difficult to make farang friends who have common interests......

I guess a lot of this hinges on what your common interests are.

Believe me, you're not alone in this category as one of the biggest complaints I hear from some (not all) expats is that they're bored-to-death in the daytime. And most of the expats I know don't have a large cadre of expats friends either. Most of their social interactions with other expats either happen around the bars at night - or sometimes early morning breakfast chats with a few other expats they know. That's about it.

That said, visiting the gay scene at night seems like a great way to start some new friendships regardless if you drink or not - seeing as the majority of expats you see on the scene are there for the very same reason, i.e. social interactions and building new friendships.

Also, using this forum as a way to generate some common interests among other members isn't a bad idea either. Just because the last "Meet & Greet" didn't work out doesn't mean it won't work in the future. We had a Sawatdee Meet & Greet arranged years ago at the original Memories Cafe/Sunee and a handful of members showed up, but not until after we moved the meeting date around a dozen times. The owners of Memories (Jack, Ralph & Oud) told me later that night that if they would have laid out free food and hung up balloons the place would have been packed...555.

On a personal note, for me, having a partner certainly takes the edge off the need for having social interactions with others. I still enjoy (and need) those interactions so don't get me wrong, but we do everything together...enjoy our own individual hobbies which fills most hours in the day... have each other to share with...reflect with...joke with...share meals with...debate with...laugh with...enjoy sex with...and love with. Ironically, we first met on GayRomeo and in both of our profiles we had posted "Looking for Friends" as our interest. Funny with how that fits with the conversation we're having now.

Your suggestion about there being some sort of "Welcoming" process for new gay expats is an excellent one.

My wheels are turning.

[christianpfc]

After 18 months here, I see that it is fairly easy to make Thai friends but very difficult to make farang friends who have common interests.

We might have a different idea what constitutes as "friend", but I have few to no Thai friends, but many Farang friends. Most of them gay, but many not on the forums. I have just too little shared interests with Thais to go beyond fun and fringe activities.

[bkkmfj2648]

We might have a different idea what constitutes as "friend", but I have few to no Thai friends, but many Farang friends. Most of them gay, but many not on the forums. I have just too little shared interests with Thais to go beyond fun and fringe activities.

Then we are definitely living opposite lives. With my Thai friends, I have gone to:

Koh Larn x 4,
Koh Samet x 2,
Koh Chang,
Phitsanulok,
Sukhothai

Thanks to my Thai friends I have been able to participate in the volleyball events at Dongtan beach (near the Sea Rescue facility). The Thai guys that I met here were the primary reasons why I was able to travel with them to the above list of places. Furthermore, thanks to these friends I have been exposed to the Thai-on-Thai network of masseurs and escorts - which are different than the ones that we mainly see in Grindr.

Then there is my small group of Thai friends who work within the walls of Supertown - and this has been a very eye opening experience as I get to see how the Thais see us farangs who frequent the Jomtien Complex. When these guys organize small house parties - often I am the only farang in attendance.

Alternatively, my experiences with fellow farangs is almost nil as I often don't have much in common with what they want to do - in that I get bored with the "farang sit - farang drink" modus operandi.

There is so much more to do in Thailand....

[Dodger]

Comparing tourists with retired expats is like comparing apples with oranges. I think it makes more sense to compare the differences between farang who retire in their home country versus choosing to retire in Thailand - because that's really where the tire meets the road.

I think any expat that lives in Thailand would agree wholeheartedly that life in Thailand beats the alternative, but what does that really mean? It's better...great...but then why do so many expats seem so bored, bitter, and depressed?

I really hate saying this because there's certainly a lot of very friendly positive - thinking expats over here - but about half of them act like they they have a piece of barbed-wire stuck up their ass. Always complaining...never a smile...pontificating...everything's wrong...they're constantly being inconvenienced by the world around them...the music's too loud...the price of eggs went up two baht...the boy who showed up at their door had a slight mustache that wasn't visible in his picture on Grindr.,,Oh My God! Why don't they just shut up once in a while and give everybody a break.

So, I guess the question is; Will you automatically have an amazing life filled with joy and happiness when you retire in Thailand? Based on everything I've seen so far you have about a 50/50 chance.

[maump]

why do so many expats seem so bored, bitter, and depressed?

I really hate saying this because there's certainly a lot of very friendly positive - thinking expats over here - but about half of them act like they they have a piece of barbed-wire stuck up their ass. Always complaining...never a smile...pontificating...everything's wrong...they're constantly being inconvenienced by the world around them...the music's too loud...the price of eggs went up two baht...the boy who showed up at their door had a slight mustache that wasn't visible in his picture on Grindr.,,Oh My God! Why don't they just shut up once in a while and give everybody a break.

So, I guess the question is; Will you automatically have an amazing life filled with joy and happiness when you retire in Thailand? Based on everything I've seen so far you have about a 50/50 chance.

There are a many many people who are generally unhappy by nature. Glass Half-full people. I know myself to be one of those and struggle against it.

I grew up in with critical parents who expected more from us kids than we delivered. I went into a career that valued critical people who found problems and fixed them, striving for "excellenc...." a condition that could never be reached. the result... me - highly critical, everything can be better.

But I have learned not to voice my opinion and to look to surround myself with happy people to keep me on the high side. I struggle the most when people ask for my opinion... how was your meal? how was the accommodation?

Retired at home - I'm bored, seeking projects to do. on vacation, I bury myself in sexual activities. what do I love about thailand (short list)? the people, the food, the accommodations.... a lot of other things are lacking (the weather). Colombia - the people/men, the weather.... Philippines the people...

where to retire? sigh, I need to keep looking and trying. did 3 months in colombia. want to try 3 months in thailand and 3 months in PH.