Pattaya's Finest

[snotface]

Had this story from an Australian businessman friend the other day. Among his other activities he lets out a couple of apartments in Pattaya. Not having heard for a while from a tenant who was a personal friend, he went round to check up on him. No answer on ringing the doorbell, so he let himself in. The tenant was lying on the floor semi-naked and stone dead - arms extended straight out in rigor mortis, face completely black from where the blood had gone to his head. My friend is no faint heart but he said it was one of the most horrible sights he has ever seen. No sign of violence, it looked like natural causes. Dead about twelve hours he estimated. He phoned the police and, being a savvy guy, removed for safe keeping the dead friend's wallet and one or two other small items of value while he waited.

Twelve (!) policemen duly arrived on the scene. While one or two made a cursory inspection of the corpse, the rest started going through every drawer and cupboard in the place intent on evidence collection, otherwise known as appropriation of anything worth having. The fact that my friend was taking a few pictures on his mobile cramped their style somewhat and they finally left looking disappointed. My friend said he had deliberately left a hundred baht note in the dead man's pocket to see what happened - that had gone when he checked, as had a gold ring which he had forgotten to remove from a finger.

My friend (who told his story with a worldly-wise smile, any outrage well under control) had been prepared for the police behaviour by previous conversations with other farangs. He knew that, for the police, the death of a farang alone in his apartment is seen, quite simply, as a welcome opportunity to do a bit of wealth redistribution. The reasoning goes: the dead man no longer cares and there are probably no relatives within thousands of miles to kick up a fuss. If there's a safe in the apartment, oh goody, that gets jemmied off the wall and removed to the station for further questioning. All in a day's work.

When I passed on the Australian's story to an English friend in my building, who has lived in Thailand for many years, he looked shocked. 'Goodness,' he said finally, 'I had no idea such things went on here.' Lovely guy, bit of a sheltered life.

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