Flying Too Close to the Sun

[maump]

I first saw him in the Kings Road, Chelsea, one unsuspecting afternoon. My bulging eyeballs zoomed in on that long blond hair, beautiful face, slinky, denim-clad body.

The evenings were when Steve did his own thing. He was bisexual with a preference for women. As he put it himself, 'I like having sex with guys, but I need to have sex with chicks.'
'I won't be here forever, Pete.' I would just nod and look away. Didn't want to face it.


Towards the end of our time together I felt I was heading for a nervous breakdown. All those nights lying in bed wondering whether he would return or not, , the way my own sexual needs were being more and more ignored. Anyone with an ounce of sense would have known that it was time to end this thing. I just couldn't do it. Any degree of unhappiness seemed preferable to life without Steve.
I was becoming lethargic and depressed.


I last spoke to Steve by phone in 1988 .

Wow, beautifully written.... How many of us have this story in our lives? Change some details... I have the same. I'm a codependent enabler. I rescued him, I was 36, he was a month shy of 19. He seduced me. 6'2" dark brown hair, piecing eyes, with beautiful posture and an ass i could not keep my face out of. oh, and his musk.....!

He really didn't like kissing then (even girls) or sucking, he only wanted my cock in his ass. I was happy to comply. he said he loved me and did silly things to show it. but after every fuck he need to go make out with a girl to restore his ego/id. I was really in love for the first and only time in my life. (infatuation? hormonal slide?). i put up with anything.

He left me and the kids after about a year (German Shephard Christmas present and a pregnant Rottweiler - rescue). My life collapsed, I quit my job, sold the house and took a new job in Atlanta. 2 weeks before i left, he showed up broke, with a broken leg. I made room in the truck for what was left of his stuff.

For the next three years we lived together in 2 bedroom condo. He had girl friends... he would leave the curtains open so I could watch from the balcony. after he fucked them he would often come my bedroom to talk to "dad". I would put a load in his ass and he would go back with a reinvigorated hardon and fuck them again... his slimy, loose hole undiscovered..

the relationship was very different, caring but more mercenary. I got sex when he wanted something.. or just randomly. but he would do a lot more (kissing sucking, even occasionally fuck me). three more years like this. I was on the road 3 weeks out of 5 and he had a condo on Piedmont park to himself. we immersed ourselves in the Atlanta gay culture and he experimented with men and women. I had Atlanta rent boys and a couple bad BF relationships. we were not a couple...

I had enough, I left him and moved to a job in Florida. we were still talking, friends.... he followed me, but we never lived together again. to him I was the father he never had who also fulfilled a strange sexual need. he got married, I had three ways with him and his wife. she did him (and me) with a strap on. he had a son who looked like me.

I left Florida 20 years ago. I still visit, I am father to him and grandfather to a 20 yro bisexual kid now. they wants me to retire with him.

many fond and painful memories. if I could go back would i do it again....? i don't know.