On love, lust and boys

[StevieWonders]

And Thailand is an environment which has never seemed threatening nor even disapproving. And that includes non-tourist parts of the country where we have stayed together.

Just because the Thais don’t openly confront you doesn’t mean they don’t privately despise you - or haven’t you understood the true meaning of the Thai smile?

[Oliver2]

I don't know if they despised me, any more than someone can claim confidently that the guys I have met are insincere. What's the solution to this conundrum inherent in the human condition? Not to trust, like or love anyone? Is that the path to happiness?

Until I fell in love, I accepted what was offered at face value. And had a great time. I suppose I could have told all those charming guys to get lost.....they would have missed out on their payment and I would have missed out on my harmless fun, something for which I'd waited and denied myself since puberty.

Those nine years of butterflying in Thailand prepared me for the greater happiness that was to follow, providing the insights and understanding that led me to the love of my life.

[Dodger]

I don't know if they despised me, any more than someone can claim confidently that the guys I have met are insincere. What's the solution to this conundrum inherent in the human condition? Not to trust, like or love anyone? Is that the path to happiness?

There's not a doubt in my mind that the Thais you've interacted with are being totally sincere about their feelings for you. You're a jai dee person...they know it, and appreciate it, and enjoying relationships like this is what makes the world go around.

Thais have an amazing ability to see inside a person (it's a karma thing).

Conversely, I've seen a few pretty undesirable farang over the years who are better off not trusting...liking...loving any of them, because they're simply not respected by the Thais. All they will get are Fake Smiles...it's inevitable.

[Oliver2]

If you care about someone, even for a short period, it is more likely that he will reciprocate and care for you. By the way, an offed mb will probably perform his duties better, too.

I know some falangs are cynical about relationships with ex-mbs; often they have been badly hurt, even betrayed, and decide never again to trust a Thai. Very sad for them; I suppose I've been lucky.

But I also know a couple of Thais- friends of P- who were badly hurt and betrayed by falangs whom they loved deeply and depended upon... often because they lost their looks when the days of twink-hood ended. They were "traded-in" like an old car for a newer model.

It is sometimes instructive to look at the Pattaya scene from the Thai perspective. It's not just we falangs who have doubts, fears, insecurities. And for Thais, a busted relationship has enormous financial as well emotional implications.

[maump]

one would hope that neither of them would be guilty of the fashion faux pas of socks with slip-on sandals!

Very common in the states now..... disgusting.

[StevieWonders]

Very common in the states now..... disgusting.

I quite agree - almost as bad as sex videos where they don’t remove their socks

[StevieWonders]

I don't know if they despised me, any more than someone can claim confidently that the guys I have met are insincere. What's the solution to this conundrum inherent in the human condition? Not to trust, like or love anyone? Is that the path to happiness?

Until I fell in love, I accepted what was offered at face value. And had a great time. I suppose I could have told all those charming guys to get lost.....they would have missed out on their payment and I would have missed out on my harmless fun, something for which I'd waited and denied myself since puberty.

Those nine years of butterflying in Thailand prepared me for the greater happiness that was to follow, providing the insights and understanding that led me to the love of my life.

Keep wearing the rose coloured spectacles; they suit you. Next stop the 2022 Gay Pride Palestine March in Ramallah?

[Oliver2]

Something of a cliché nowadays, but here goes. Oscar Wilde's definition of a cynic.

"A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."

Alas, 'tis true; I really do believe in the essential decency of the people I have met and loved, wherever they live and whatever their religion.

[StevieWonders]

Something of a cliché nowadays, but here goes. Oscar Wilde's definition of a cynic.

"A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."

Alas, 'tis true; I really do believe in the essential decency of the people I have met and loved, wherever they live and whatever their religion.

It’s definitely a cliché quoted by the intellectually lazy. The line comes from Lady Windermere’s Fan, a play about the value of a good reputation, where two businessmen are discussing value vs. price. The full context is Darlington responding to the question “What is a cynic?”

Lord Darlington: A man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing.
Cecil Graham: And a sentimentalist, my dear Darlington, is a man who sees an absurd value in everything and doesn’t know the market price of any single thing.”

Whether that is what Wilde himself believed depends on whether you believe (mistakenly) that a playwright or a novelist believes everything he writes. Wilde uses the line as a dramatic device to underline the question the play is asking. Equally Lord Darlington is making the very common mistake of confusing a cynic with a sceptic

[dinagam]

Now who's the cynical sceptic, and who's the real sceptical cynic?