Pattaya trip report, Dec. 2019

[sglad]

I can assure you that they were entirely delighted by an injection of eye candy to the guest list.

You must forgive MFAS, Marsilius. Pattaya's self-appointed Miss Emily Post gets her Depends in a twist whenever she perceives a breach of etiquette.

Great trip report so far; nice to read a genuine one for a change - makes me want to visit Pattaya again. Hope the rest of your holiday is just as good or better!

[Marsilius]

Wednesday 18 December: Had I been new to Thailand, instead of someone who’s visited multiple times every year since 1993, I might have fallen in “holiday love” with the X-Boys boy.

Everyone has, I’m sure, gone through the same thing in their first few years as a tourist – thinking that this is the one and fantasising about selling up at home and moving out to the Land of Smiles to bask forever in its eternal literal and metaphorical sunshine with him.

Thankfully, for most of us, the scales fall from our eyes after a few years, to the extent that, in my case at least, Thailand’s become one of the places in which I’d least like to live permanently. But boy! (and that’s the operative word) it’s sure still a great place for a holiday.

Anyway, while I am certainly not in love with X-Boys boy – who is, by the way, already at the age of 22, the father of a six-year-old - he’s certainly a great find. Meanwhile, I have exchanged more Skype messages with him (his English replies are so good that he must be having help, I think, from his two room-mates) and we will probably meet up with him again later in the week.

So, what did Wednesday hold? The beach proved a little more active once again, so that Rit’s sole attendant was kept a little more busy than usual. Many of you will, I think, appreciate him. He has only been employed, so Rit told me, for three weeks and is yet another minimal-English-speaker – or perhaps merely feigns lack of linguistic ability so as to fend off lecherous approaches from the customers… Nonetheless, tomorrow’s plan is to at least discover his name.

I did, though, discover the name of one of the ice cream sellers. Indeed, I could hardly avoid doing so as he targeted me with his beady there’s-a-farang-on-his-own-who-looks-like-he-wants-to-lick-my-cornetto eyes. I was, it goes without saying, a more than willing victim. Surprisingly tactile, he was eager to know for how long I was in Pattaya, whether I was on my own and where I stayed. Meanwhile, he vouchsafed that he was slumming it in the ice cream business, having for some time been a Dongtan Beach masseur. He looked flattered and did not demur when I said that the best masseurs (even if not, in reality, I thought to myself, the most technically proficient!) were the most handsome ones. He was no doubt waiting for me to complain about the pain in my back from my room's uneven mattress – but, playing a long game, I merely made a strategic investment by buying him an ice cream (he makes 5B from every sale). I may try the “bad back” gambit tomorrow and, if I do, I don’t think he’ll be suggesting a trip to the Bangkok Christian Hospital.

In the evening, I carried out a further reconnaissance of Sunnee Plaza. At about 9.30 pm Winner Boys had about ten customers and an equal number of boys in the bar. It seems, though, to be so badly managed that there were times that, although several of the boys were sitting around doing nothing, none of them were on the stage. Not a good image to present to patrons!

I gave Power Boys a miss this time (one pair of mammary glands per week is enough for me) and went straight to Nice Boys. There were about seven or eight boys on stage at any one time and about the same number scattered around the periphery, mainly engaged in entertaining the customers with advanced anatomy lessons. There’s certainly no excuse to fail GCSE Biology after a visit here! As always – and certainly, tonight, unlike the Winner Boys - the Nice Boys young men gave the impression of making a real effort to promote themselves to the customers and the atmosphere was very friendly and jolly.

Having stayed awake until after 2 am on the previous two nights, I found that sleep was catching up with me and so I returned home alone to Jomtien Complex where, as usual, most of the bars – especially those at the western end of the soi – were doing very good business. Not, however, on this occasion from me.

[Daveuk]

Very much enjoyed your reports Marsilius which brought back memories of my November trip to Pattaya, when I stayed in the Jomtien Complex but circulated in Sunee and BT. I remember my first baht bus journey Jomtien - Pattaya during which I became confused as to where it was going but then realising it was passing the entrance to Sunee. I quickly pressed the buzzer, got off and was rather pleased to find myself more conveniently where I was heading for - Winner Boys, where I acquired a rather delightful off to transport back to Jomtien after a couple of hours in Sunee remembering times gone by. As to the Dongtan Gay beach my experience echoed yours - no boys, but a relaxed atmosphere without the pollution of busier areas.

[aot871]

I just wondered which hotel you are staying in, in jomtiem complex

[Marsilius]

I am staying at East Suites. One of my falang friends is at Zing and the other at the Agate (which is, by the way, very nicely appointed in its public areas). All, as I expect you know, are quite accommodating to any newly-made friends and their proximity to each other is a real plus for us.

[Marsilius]

Thursday 19 December:

As usual, the late morning/early afternoon was spent on the beach. Attentive readers will recall that today’s objective was to discover the name of Rit’s new waiter (in fact, nowadays Rit’s only waiter). Hardly an onerous task, you might suppose, when all one has to do is ask. Actually, however, even getting the young man’s attention proved tricky when he was serving the other customers who, for some reason, seem this year to be predominantly sun worshippers who prefer to sit at the front, while I like to preserve my milky-white complexion by lingering in the shade at the back. When he wasn’t victualing those in the front stalls, he was concealed behind the tree that marks Rit’s work-station, busily washing glasses and plates and preparing the customers’ orders. Anyway, when I eventually got his attention, I asked his name. It is, to say the least, in this context a somewhat unfortunate one. Whereas you’d happily summon any other waiter with a brisk “Oh, Lek!”, “Oh, Yah!”, “Oh, Pan!” or whatever, you’d probably want to think twice before calling out across half a dozen rows of seated customers to this particular guy. His name, it turns out, is Fuk.

As I mentioned earlier, in the context of some whimsical thoughts about go-go boys’ medical examinations, lots of us do like to enjoy our little fantasies about a Thai gay scene that’s so different to others elsewhere. In this case, I chose to imagine young Fuk starring in one of those Island Caprice Studios epics, during which he had been so taken with one of the director’s curtly monosyllabic instructions to the energetic performers that he decided to adopt it as his Thai nickname.

Before leaving – though no doubt only temporarily – the subject of this delightful new addition to the Dongtan Beach workforce, I may add than when I settled up with Rit I asked him whether Fuk was a relative. No, was the smiling and no doubt tongue-in-cheek reply – the Rit family members are all handsome whereas Fuk is… well… To which all I can say is that Rit should have gone to Specsavers.

After a post-beach nap, my two friends and I ate at the New India Restaurant on the road heading for Jomtien Beach. I had lamb tikha masala with pilau rice and a keema nan. Sadly the owner’s very cute son wasn’t on waiter duty last night – if he had been, I might have ordered more! - but the food was much to the taste of my companions even if it was a little too spicy for me (tip: avoid ordering poppadoms if you like them plain and unspiced, for they never, ever, come that way).

We’d decided on another trip to Sunnee Plaza. Our first port of call was Winner Boys where there were about six boys on stage. Other boys were sitting with falang at various points around the edge of the room. Memo to Winner Boys management: you need to turn down the air conditioning because the boys are finding it so cold that they have to place cushions tightly over their laps while their customer-companions try vigorously to warm up their extremities for them. The best-looking boy of the night, we all thought, was one we hadn’t seen before: presumably just back from a period at the wat, he was completely shaven-headed and we all agreed that that made him look very sexy. Strangely enough, even though I know that it is the major site of bodily heat loss, the customer sitting next to him never got around to trying to rub some warmth into that exposed bald head…

We walked past Power Boys but, as we did so, a sneaky glance through the open door revealed more boys than the four encountered last time. We made a mental note to check the place out again at an early opportunity.

Nice Boys had seven or eight boys on stage in various degrees of undress/arousal (and, dare I suggest it with so few customers still in evidence, desperation). A similar number were engaged - or may even, for all I know, have set actual wedding dates - with customers. Thankfully, the Nice Boys management seem to be better judges of the optimum temperature for their bar because none of the boys there seemed to need to cover their laps with cushions. Kindly patrons, still, however, took no chances with the health of their young charges and continued to apply vigorous muscle-warming rubs on a regular basis.

Finally, it was back to the Sun Bar with a beer tower and some Johnny Walker Black Label (is it the real thing?). While one of my friends had clearly indulged far too much in alcohol to appreciate the fine range of ethic Thai, Khmer and Lao produce on offer, the other found his interest piqued and his libido excited during the 100 meters trip back to Zing, for he met a charming Thai/Nigerian young man in the short alley that’s the shortest route. He later reported with delight that the route was the only thing that could be described as "the shortest" that night.

I, sadly, returned alone to my room to dream vividly of those compulsory medical inspections at X-Boys and of how utterly appropriate and stimulating it was that Rit’s comment about young Fuk was made tongue in cheek.

[a447]

Great read, Marsilius.

Maybe fuk is Vietnamese. Phuoc (a very common name) is often pronounced as "fuk."

[frequent]

Great read, Marsilius.

Maybe fuk is Vietnamese. Phuoc (a very common name) is often pronounced as "fuk."

"Wun Phuoc Vietnamese Restaurant"?

[Ivory]

Thursday 19 December:

one we hadn’t seen before: presumably just back from a period at the wat, he was completely shaven-headed

Same way they come from the period of being inmate...

[Oliver2]

An enjoyable report and it confirms that I'm not the only falang who finds guys who were recently monks irresistible. So thanks for that too.