My favourite Fatwas

Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani
Fatwa 2648
It is unworthy to drink too much water, to drink water after eating fatty food, and to drink water while standing during the night

Fatwa 2479
A man cannot marry a girl who has been suckled fully by his mother or paternal grandmother

Grand Ayatollah Wily Gaybutton
Fatwa 2496
A poster may not turn My Message Board into a gripe session as to who said what to whom and how. Words mean what I say they mean, and no discussion will be entered into

It is unworthy to drink too much water, to drink water after eating fatty food, and to drink water while standing during the night.

Just checking. Does that mean while you are standing?...or while the water is standing?...like in a glass, by the side of the bed ... with or without teeth in it?

Whatever; Pearl is well on her way to Nirvana: she only keeps her purse, full of gin, by the side of the bed. :drunken: Her teeth are in there too.

Indeed I am..in fact I shall be one of the 100 virgins awaiting your arrival

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Indeed I am..in fact I shall be one of the 100 virgins awaiting your arrival.

There seems to be some confussion, as usual, on your part. It's 100 ... Or 72?... virgins in heaven, darling! However many, that sure ain't it! But Thai kam, Narok, comes to mind.
Nevertheless, I'm glad to see you're dressing better. (In which purse did you hide the gin?...All of them?)

Indeed I am..in fact I shall be one of the 100 virgins awaiting your arrival

I take it you're a born-again virgin?

I believe the injunction against drinking water at night while standing up is aimed at those persons who frequent the bar scene and drink only non-alcoholic beverages. It is intended to promote profitable trade for the owners of such places. Clearly Sistani has never been to Bangkok, where prices for alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages are the same

I did receive a private message asking whether I had got Grand Ayatollah Wily Gaybutton's Fatwa number correct - the suggestion was that it should be '2469' rather than '2496'. I reminded my correspondent that the number '96' has long been recognised as one where there are two arseholes rubbing along together - in this case The Grand Ayatollah and The Coven :drunken:

Grand Ayatollah Wily Gaybutton's Fatwa number correct - the suggestion was that it should be '2469' rather than '2496'. I reminded my correspondent that the number '96' has long been recognised as one where there are two arseholes rubbing together - in this case The Grand Ayatollah and The Coven :drunken:

Mine's ...68: You do me--And I'll owe you one.

But while I'm in a Swami (How, I loves ya', my dear old Swami.) mood...I'm also known as, Swami Salami*...I shall make a prediction. I predict Benedict will be the next pope to die.

*Swami Salami was of my many (leading) movie rol├йs: I wore nothing but an saphire and a black leather turban; hypnotised straight twinks and made them bark, while they assumed 'the' position, and I played hide-the-salami. It won the golden corkring award in 1980....For best costume design!